Criss Angel is opening up a restaurant, and it’s not called Mindsteak

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Magicians are hilarious (at least to me). Criss Angel is no exception to that rule, and he’s decided to magically make a restaurant appear in Overton, Nevada, just 65 miles away from Las Vegas. Okay, maybe there’s no magic involved, just proper financial transactions, but this is still entertaining to me. The funniest thing about the entire restaurant is that it will be called... wait for it... Cablp. Yes, I triple checked, I spelled that right. Eater Vegas has the scoop.

You may, as a sane human being, wonder how to pronounce this name. It’s pronounced “Ca-blip.” This is a shortening of “Criss Angel’s breakfast, lunch, and pizza.” No, I don’t understand this decision either. “Criss Angel Pizza Freak” would have worked. How about “Crust Angel?”

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Upon hearing the news, Takeout editor, Marnie Shure, said, “Should have given the ‘and’ a letter, so that it’s Ca-blap.”

Angel’s not pulling Cablp entirely out of thin air, however. He purchased the building, which used to house a restaurant called Sugar’s Home Plate, for $280,000, and will use the magic of renovation to transform it into Cablp. He’ll be running the place with his brother, Costa Sarantakos, who’s run their father’s New York restaurant businesses for years, and Mike Baram, a pizzamaker from Parsippany, New Jersey. The executive chef will be Amy Coram Reynolds, who’s previously worked for Wolfgang Puck and Robert Irvine.

“My family and I fell in love with the area when we took our son, Johnny Crisstopher, dirt biking nearby,” Angel said, in a press statement. “The more time we spent there, the more we got to know the town and the amazing people. When the opportunity came to invest in the community with this restaurant, we jumped at it.”

Angel is targeting a July opening date, and the menu will feature a bevvy of breakfast food, along with classic burgers, pizzas, and sandwiches for lunch. One of the burgers, the “Mindfreak,” will feature cheddar, barbecue sauce, and beer-battered onion rings, says the Las Vegas Review Journal. Don’t worry, there’ll be a drink called the Mindfreeze too, mixed with vodka and Italian ice (customers will have their choice of 100 flavors).

Will there be shows? Oh, hell, yes, there’ll be shows. Now and then, Cablp (never gets old) will be converted into a venue called the Magic Room where Angel and his friends will perform. There will also be free meal outreach program for underprivileged families and families that, like Angel’s own, have a child with cancer. (Johnny Crisstopher, now 7, was diagnosed with leukemia five years ago.) Further down the line, Angel wants to build a family camp on 14 acres of nearby land that will serve “families going through the most challenging times a beautiful escape to camp, ride, and eat for free.”

So, as much as I’d love to dunk on Criss Angel, it looks like he’s out there doing good deeds while giving me joke fodder too. Let’s hope the food’s magically delicious.