From The Confessional: My Sex Dreams Are Wild AF

Cassandra Stone
·5 mins read

These unconscious fantasies are doing the MOST, y’all

There are so many reasons we love sleep. One of them is because we are, of course, parents and cannot ever seem to get enough of it. Other reasons include the major escape from reality we get within our unconscious minds — when we’re not all succumbing to 2020’s anxiety-filled nightmares, some of us are having some majorly interesting fantasies.

Welcome to the wild and wonderful world of sex dreams. May the Jason Momoas be ever in your favor.

Confessional #25795615

“I dream about Jason Momoa a LOT. Not even sex dreams - he's usually just hugging me, flirting with me, sometimes he picks me up and carries me around. I wish my husband acted like dream Jason Momoa.”

Confessional #25785662

“Had a sex dream about Dr. Nassif from the show Botched. wtf is wrong with me”

Confessional #25778155

“I had a graphic sex dream about Chris Cuomo. I think....I’ve been watching too much news.”

Celebrity sex dreams are the best, aren’t they? Except when they’re…the worst. Some of them will have you questioning your entire existence and psychological makeup. (These dreams should be entered as Exhibit A in the “I Need To Get Out More” mom defense.)

Confessional #25772741

“Had sex dreams about Dracula from that cheesy Netflix series and Baelish from GOT both in one night and it was incredibly hot. I'm going to hell.”

Confessional #25770709

“Apparently I want to have sex with John Mulaney according to my insane sex dream I had about him last night. I woke up b.c I had such a strong O.”

Confessional #25747892

“I had a steamy sex dream about the guys from The Wiggles. Tell me I'm not the only one!”

And then there’s the sex dreams we have about people we know in real life, and that can make things…weird. Just super uncomfortable, skin-crawly weird.

Confessional #25760608

“I had an intense sex dream about a coworker and now I can't look at him. I don't even find him attractive at all. I'm just horny. Long distance relationships suck.”

Confessional #25457777

“I had a sex dream starring one of the managers at work. The downfall, he’s married and now when I see him I think about how hot that dream was.”

Confessional #24199316

“My ex from 20 years ago moved to my very small town and I'm his 8 yr old kid's teacher. I've had sex dreams about him - that's all we did really and he's still hot. I love my DH, but the path not taken is in my face every day. His kid tells me a lot.”

And sometimes, our subconscious is trying to tell us (not so subtly) that we’re dissatisfied with our own lives — especially our sex lives — and we need to tap into our desires ASAP.

Confessional #23695593

“Haven't had any interest in sex for awhile. Attributed it to stress, being tired, depressed, hormones. etc. Had 2 very vivid, hot sex dreams last night, one with a man & another with a woman. Turns out I still do crave sex, just not with DH.”

Confessional #22532820

“H and I have had a rough patch. Randomly had an explicit sex dream about a neighbor. He's a devout Christian and I'm Athiest. I feel embarrassed but curious when I see him now. Wtf?”

Confessional #22496384

“I hate when I have sex dreams about my H; it gives me false hope and makes me feel weird the whole next day. Sexless marriage here, folks.”

Confessional #21233321

“I’m insecure about my body after kids but my husband wants me more then ever I just found out last night he still has sex dreams about ME not younger prettier, thinner women ME! Talk about guilt for all those Hugh jackman dreams....”

Honestly who among us has not harbored some sort of illicit fantasy about Hugh Jackman? He’s Wolverine and he can sing and dance for God’s sake!

The actual purpose of dreams, according to various psychological theories, is to allow the “disguised fulfillment of a repressed wish, often sexual in nature, which must not be gratified directly.” Freudian dream analyses might not always be accurate (subjectively speaking), but they are interesting enough to give some deep thought to.

Confessional #19410054

“I'm so unhappy and dissatiafied in my marriage that I keep having dreams about other men, just random dudes from high school sometimes. Not even sex dreams, just "happy relationship" dreams.”

Confessional #15812936

“I keep having these really hot sex dreams about my BIL (H's brother). Now I can't stop wondering what he's like in bed. The problem is I'm good friends with his wife and now I can barely look her in the eye. I hope the dreams never stop.”

Confessional #19654280

“My tattoo artist is so damn sexy, but married with a kid. I would never pursue it, but I keep having sex dreams about him. He said something suggestive at our last session and now I can't stop thinking about it. Married mom of 3 here.”

Confessional #10603981

“Had a really hot sex dream with Pink in it last night. Maybe it means I find her attractive. Maybe it just means I think she’s fucking awesome (which I do). Either way certain it means I’m not 100% straight. More like a 2 on the Kinsey scale.”

And yes, Pink can absolutely get it in the same way Hugh Jackman can. Our brains are truly something, are they not?

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