Right? Hahaha. Okay, the macaroni necklaces part is true, but do you know a single mom who truly gets to “relax” on Mother’s Day? Who doesn’t have to clean up syrup from the breakfast her family “made” or still get up at 6 a.m. because someone peed the bed or drag the kids to a brunch their mother-in-law organized that everyone is obligated to attend? For many of us, this day ends up being more work than a regular Sunday, and frankly, and we’re over it.
Here’s what we need, fam. Zero obligations—like ZERO—for the day. We need our SO (or someone, anyone really) to take the kids out for many, many hours so that we don’t have to actually hear “mommy mommy mommy” or step in pee or referee fights over the iPad. We want blissful, glorious, quiet solitude. And we definitely don’t want to force our toddlers into khakis so they can take a pic with Grandma at brunch.
Seriously, fam, it’s not hard. Don’t fuck this up because we’ve been pandemic-ing since before last Mother’s Day, and we reaaaaaaally need a break.
“All I wanted for Mother’s Day was a good take out dinner that I didn’t have to plan. I didn’t want to cook. DH never plans ahead, all restaurants aren’t taking last minute orders. No shit! Fuck Mothers Day!”
“I fucking hate my husband. Did NOTHING for me for mothers day, but when fathers day rolls around I'm sure he'll be asking for a blow job. The way things are going he may be getting divorce papers for fathers day.”
“I hate mothers day, every year he goes out of his way to ruin the entire weekend for me. I don't even want anything I just a normal weekend. Instead he sleeps till 3pm, wakes up and finds something to yell at me about and make me feel like crap.”
“The bar for mothers day was set incredibly low right off the bat, when my husband slept til 1pm and left me with a 3 week old, recovering from a c section. Nothing has changed.”
Some of us have known since our very first Mother’s Day that we need to have low expectations (or no expectations). And some of us still have a glimmer of hope every year that maybe our partner won’t fuck this up. But inevitably, they do.
“For Mothers Day I am going shopping ALONE. Going to get a Starbucks too and take my sweet ass time.”
“This year for mothers day, I'm fixing myself bbq ribs, macaroni salad, baked beans, deviled eggs, and strawberry jello poke cake for dessert. H & the kids are free to join me if they wish.”
“Told h and kids (teens) that I'm not cooking for Mothers Day. I've cooked 2-3 meals a day for the quarantine. I'm done, you are on your own. Idc if I don't eat, go to McDonald's for all I care. Get zero help and I need a break”
“Best Mothers Day ever: planting the plants I bought MYSELF, day-drinking, cooking myself a bomb dinner, and getting fkd the way i should by my hot young bf while the kids hang with their dad. So very nice!”
“Bought myself a Tiramisu cake for mothers day... I've already eaten half of it and that fucker was from Costco so it's HUGE!”
So we’ve learned to take Mother’s Day into our own hands and make our own joy. We eat what we want, drink what we want, and do what we want. And it’s glorious AF.
“I better be getting the hope f*ckin diamond for mothers day!!!! Sorry hubs/kiddos...but macaroni pics of me, food, and handmade cards are not gonna give me back my sanity and what LITTLE alone time I use to have. DIAMONDS DAMNIT...DIAMONDS.”
“3 times a year I don't have to cook. My birthday, Mothers Day, and our anniversary. If DH and kids cook rather than going out (rare), they won't let me help with clean up or dishes. They leave it for me to do the next day... I'm not sure that is a gift.”
“DH just told me he got me n his mom the same thing for mother's day...wtf. I find that lazy and very disrespectful. We are different ppl. Fucking do better or just dont get me anything”
“DH ruined mothers day by offering to do everything I usually do and then incessantly complaining about it. The older I get, the more I realize how fucking useless men are. Refuse to raise my son that way. Pissed I can't just have 1 day to relax.”
“Mothers day sucks! Woke up early to a stinky house because dog got sprayed by a skunk, had to bath him. Made my own breakfast. Did yard work. Son tried making me a cake but it didn't turn out so he had an epic melt down. So fucking over this day.”
Sometimes it’s even worse when our families “try” in the gift department but fail miserably. Bruh, your gift kind of sucks, so thanks but no thanks.
“Hate mothers day- mine is a bitch and my kids dont care at all. Everything is forced to act caring but its all lies and trash”
“I fucking hate Mothers Day and I absolutely refuse to spend any of my time, money, or effort to honor a woman who doesn't deserve it.”
“trying to circumvent awkward mothers day call tomorrow by making it today-mom not answering. sure she will do the call while I am hosting company. I will ignore then be stuck calling her later again. sick of her shit. need peace from her games.”
“I have always hated Mothers Day! If my mom didn't get a nice gift, hell to pay. Now she's gone... Still hate it!”
“As a kid, my dad used to take me & my sister shopping for a mothers day gift for mom. I hated having to spend money on that rude, stupid cunt. She didn't deserve anything. Dad hated her too. Everyone in the family was afraid of her. Glad I'm estranged.”
And finally, Mother’s Day can carry a lot of baggage and trigger a great deal of pain too—particularly if your own mom is a shitty person.
So a day that’s supposed to be a happy one — and a day we’re supposed to feel loved and spoiled and appreciated — is for many of us, the exact opposite of that. That’s why many moms do Mother’s Day their way and have stopped relying on others to make it joyful. And why you should do the same. Screw your narcissistic MIL or selfish husband or lazy ass kids who forgot all about it. Go somewhere for the day—a coffee shop, a nail salon, a book store—and treat yourself to all the things you deserve. Or, if you can’t escape, drop a little something special into your online cart—a new pair of sandals or that wreath you’ve been eyeing for your front door.
And when you hit “complete purchase” or when you drive out of your driveway and wave goodbye to your family, make sure you say “Happy Mother’s Day, Mom” to yourself. Because you deserve it.