We all know a narcissist, but these moms either live with one or love one and they’re spilling ALL THE DEETS
Thanks to social media (and people like Hilaria Baldwin), we as a society are more familiar with the concept of narcissism than ever before. While Narcissistic Personality Disorder is a very real diagnosis, most people aren’t in a position to clinically diagnose it. But many of us are astute enough (those of us with empathy, anyway) to recognize narcissistic personality traits at the very least.
Whether you’re married to someone who’s narcissistic, call them “Mom” or “Dad,” or are a mere bystander to a very long-game grift of a celebrity wife appropriating a whole new identity for the better part of a decade and then doubling down on it without taking any accountability whatsoever, well, we all know a narc!
“My dad is a raging narcissist who, in every conversation, expects me to care for and cater to him. I play the part a few times a year but honesty, its draining. It is no why wonder both of your wives eventually hated and resented you.”
“My mom is a narcissist. She even cut off KIDS to talk about herself. I'm sick of this.”
“First 10 yrs together narcissistic MIL & SIL were extremely abusive to us (me). Cut all contact 5 years ago & it's been heaven. Thought I was over it, until I saw an Xmas card in the mail from them & had a massive panic attack. Apparently I'm not over it.”
Literal narcissism is not just someone who has an inflated sense of their own importance and a need for attention, though that’s certainly the crux of it. Narcissism also causes relationships to toxify because a true narcissist has zero empathy for other people and doesn’t demonstrate self-awareness. They’re often very fragile people who are classic examples of people who can “dish it out” but can’t take it, and often crumble or explode at the slightest criticism.
“Just came to realize much of my sadness and isolation right now is because DH and DD are both narcissists. They aren’t capable of understanding that I am tired of being the only one who cooks, cleans or does laundry. Can I get the courage to leave?”
“The next time my dad tries to heal the rift my mom has with us, I am going to tell him he chose her as his wife, I didn't choose her as a mom. Dealing with her narcissistic & abuse is not happening. The is a reason why none of her family doesnt like her.”
“My dad has a mistress, all his kids know and we really don't care. That man deserves a medal having 35 years to deal with that manipulating, selfish, greedy, toxic, abusive, narcissistic & terrible woman, my mom these days I call her an egg donor.”
“MIL is a narcissistic, calculating abusive old bitch, but she gets away with it because she looks & acts like a sweet little grandma who knits. Everyone thinks we're assholes for turning our backs on her- if they knew how evil she truly is they'd run too.”
When narcissists aren’t getting the type of attention they crave, they can be emotionally unstable to be around and display unhappiness and disappointment with everyone and everything around them. It can seem like they’re always on the lookout for new targets or new relationships in search of the fulfillment they believe they’re lacking in their life with other people.
“H likes to threaten suicide anytime he gets called out on his behavior. I know he wont ever go through with it. He's way too narcissistic to off himself. Plus he would never give me the satisfaction.”
“I’m certain my husbands estranged, abusive narcissistic birth mother has hired a PI to follow us around. I have no idea what she hopes to accomplish but to say I’m a bit terrified at this bitch’s antics, is an understatement.”
“If my father can’t visit in the exact way he wants to visit at the exact time wants to visit, he makes me feel shitty about it. Try compromising, you narcissistic asshole, or you won’t see your grandson.”
One way to navigate life with a narcissist is through the implementation of boundaries. Some people cut off narcissists completely, while others just back away a bit or keep them at arm’s length. Even just a little bit of distance can make things feel more functional and healthy for the non-narc.
“I feel guilty and that I’m a bad mom - my kid’s watched me care for my narcissistic mom, always putting them second to her for their whole childhood. Finally strong enough to stand up to her, but worried my kids feel they come second.”
“H’s abusive parents and narcissistic family are trying to talk to him again after us going no contact for nearly a decade. They are trying to act like they are warm , happy , well adjusted people. We are being polite , but I’m not buying it.”
“H is a bulldozer, gaslighter, and all around narcissistic jerk. Even our kids know it and they respect him less. At least I've raised them to recognize toxic behavior, just wish it wasnt something their father does/is.”
Dealing with narcissism can leave you feeling drained, alone, and frustrated because narcissists rarely take accountability for their hurtful behavior. Feel free to share your story anonymously in the Confessional!