Everyone Loves ‘A Christmas Story’ & I Seriously Don’t Understand Why

Before you ask: No, this piece was not written by a deranged Easter bunny. And no, it’s not an attempt to destroy your favorite holiday classic. Quite frankly, I just don’t get all the hype around A Christmas Story.

Sure, it has its strengths. For instance, it offered a more realistic take on the holiday unlike other classics at the time. Not only did it highlight consumerism and greed, but it also focused on a family that was messy and deeply flawed, making it feel like an accurate depiction of American culture. So yes, I’ll agree that the movie still stands as authentic and wholly unique. But what really irks me is the fact that it has no meaningful or positive message. Plus, Ralphie doesn’t learn a thing about the true meaning of the holidays.

In case you need a refresher, the comedy follows the misadventures of 9-year-old Ralphie Parker (Peter Billingsley) and his family during the Christmas season. It not only spawned two sequels, but it also inspired merch that range from pink bunny ears to full-size replicas of the Old Man’s leg lamp. (FYI, his wife totally broke it intentionally.) Countless fans continue to reference the movie's most popular lines, from "Fra-GEE-Lay" to "You'll shoot your eye out!" And like clockwork, millions of families re-watch Ralphie and the gang at least once a year—thanks to the annual 24-hour marathon on TBS.

But even with A Christmas Story’s impressive afterlife, it still has its fair share of problems.

For one, there are so many problematic scenes that aged poorly. (Don’t even get me started on the Parker family's open racism towards Chinese restaurant workers.) Another issue is that the entire plot is driven by a child who really wants a Red Ryder Carbine Action 200-shot Range Model air rifle for Christmas. And it’s not so much that he remains fixated on the gun to the point where he fantasizes about it 24/7, but he never explores the significance of the holiday, even after getting what he wants.

Perhaps the most disappointing aspect I saw were all the missed opportunities for his character to learn and evolve. For instance, when Ralphie nearly shoots his eye out with his new rifle, he gets away with lying to his mom. And when he receives a mediocre grade on his school assignment, there’s no indication of Miss Shields (Tedde Moore) offering guidance or feedback to help him further.

What Ralphie does learn, unfortunately, is the harsh reality of consumerism (drink your Ovaltine!), and he comes to realize that department store Santas can be seriously terrifying. But even so, it’s hard to ignore the fact that he remains a coddled, spoiled and self-centered boy who only cares about shooting random things. He doesn’t learn the value of showing kindness and compassion to others (see the iconic scene where he ditches Flick after his tongue gets stuck to a pole). He doesn’t learn the importance of giving without receiving something in return (remember his giant fruit basket for Miss Shields, when he thought she'd give him an A+?). And he doesn’t learn much about forgiveness (after he beats up the bully, there’s no indication that they make amends).

In other successful Christmas movies, there is always at least one grand epiphany, where someone discovers that there’s more to the holidays than blinking lights and presents under the tree. For example, in Miracle on 34th Street, Kris Kringle gives us a lesson on having faith during tough times. In It’s a Wonderful Life, George learns the value of having a community. And in Home Alone, Kevin develops appreciation for his dysfunctional family, instantly forgiving his mom for leaving him behind.

These movies also explore the why behind the holiday. As a result, we see these characters experience growth as they learn valuable lessons that resonate with viewers—a key element in any great holiday film. But in A Christmas Story, there is no moral lesson. Instead, we see an endearing, bespectacled 9-year-old who avoids accountability and believes that Christmas is all about “getting the stuff you want.”

This isn’t to say that A Christmas Story should’ve bombarded us with moral lessons every five minutes. And no, I’m not saying that Ralphie should’ve morphed into a perfect little angel. However, it would’ve been great to see at least a hint of growth in Ralphie, or any sign that he was beginning to understand the core idea of Christmas. Because what if his Old Man didn’t surprise him with that gun? Or what if his parents couldn’t afford to get him a pile of gifts? Would Christmas be awful for Ralphie without material items?

To be fair, I understand that Ralphie is only a kid, and I know his experience resonates with plenty of families. But if it’s going to be called a Christmas movie, I need more than just a collection of vignettes that share a bleak and cynical view of the holiday season. I want some Christmas spirit, complete with magical elements and themes of hope, love and redemption.

Now, is that too much to ask?

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