Chrissy Teigen took to Instagram Stories on Monday, November 30, and shared with her followers that she took her first shower in two months. “I just had my first shower in, like, two months,” she said. “I’ve been taking baths because I couldn’t stand to be in the shower. I couldn’t, like, physically stand in the shower. I feel really, really good.”
Teigen, who turned 35 on November 30, then thanked fans for their birthday wishes before opening up more about the past few months. “I feel very clear and very good,” she said. “It’s been a ride. It’s been a journey. And I’m happy to be back again.”
At the end of September, Teigen shared on Instagram that she and husband John Legend lost the child they were expecting (a boy they planned to name Jack) due to pregnancy complications.
“We are shocked and in the kind of deep pain you only hear about, the kind of pain we’ve never felt before,” Teigen wrote. “We were never able to stop the bleeding and give our baby the fluids he needed, despite bags and bags of blood transfusions. It just wasn’t enough.”
She then opened up about her experience in an essay for Medium. “After a couple nights at the hospital, my doctor told me exactly what I knew was coming—it was time to say goodbye,” she wrote. “He just wouldn’t survive this, and if it went on any longer, I might not either. We had tried bags and bags of blood transfusions, every single one going right through me like we hadn’t done anything at all. Late one night, I was told it would be time to let go in the morning. I cried a little at first, then went into full-blown convulsions of snot and tears, my breath not able to catch up with my own incredibly deep sadness. Even as I write this now, I can feel the pain all over again. Oxygen was placed over my nose and mouth, and that was the first picture you saw. Utter and complete sadness.”
Teigen then added, “People say an experience like this creates a hole in your heart. A hole was certainly made, but it was filled with the love of something I loved so much. It doesn’t feel empty, this space. It feels full.”
We are happy that Chrissy Teigen seems to be in a better place now.
Originally Appeared on Glamour