So we were #SurprisedNotSurprised to find that the model, author and Lip Sync Battle star wrote an essay about life with postpartum depression and anxiety for Glamour's April cover story. Teigen and her husband, John Legend, have been public about their happy life together with baby daughter Luna Simone, 11 months. But the PPD essay reveals a different behind-the-scenes battle for Teigen.
After giving birth to Luna last April, and returning to work at Lip Sync Battle, Teigen realized she didn't recognize herself:
“Getting out of bed to get to set on time was painful... I didn’t have an appetite. I would go two days without a bite of food, and you know how big of a deal food is for me,” she said.
“I couldn’t figure out why I was so unhappy. I blamed it on being tired and possibly growing out of the role: ‘Maybe I’m just not a goofy person anymore. Maybe I’m just supposed to be a mom.'”
We're grateful to Teigen for speaking so honestly about PPD. To have a celebrity mom with a serious rep for coolness and goofy fun speak out about the disorder is a big deal. We're hoping her essay encourages other moms who are struggling with PPD to reach out for help. We know this description struck a painful nerve with many of us moms here:
“Most days were spent on the exact same spot on the couch and rarely would I muster up the energy to make it upstairs for bed. John would sleep on the couch with me, sometimes four nights in a row. I started keeping robes and comfy clothes in the pantry so I wouldn’t have to go upstairs when John went to work. There was a lot of spontaneous crying. When I wasn’t in the studio, I never left the house. I mean, never. Not even a tiptoe outside. I’d ask people who came inside why they were wet. Was it raining? How would I know — I had every shade closed,” Teigen said.
“Before the holidays I went to my GP for a physical. John sat next to me. I looked at my doctor, and my eyes welled up because I was so tired of being in pain. Of sleeping on the couch. Of waking up throughout the night. Of throwing up. Of taking things out on the wrong people. Of not enjoying life. Of not seeing my friends. Of not having the energy to take my baby for a stroll,” she said.
“My doctor pulled out a book and started listing symptoms. And I was like, ‘Yep, yep, yep.’ I got my diagnosis: postpartum depression and anxiety.”
We're impressed with Teigen's spot-on description of a very hard-to-explain disorder.
Chrissy wrapped up her essay with a fantastic message:
“Postpartum does not discriminate. I couldn’t control it. And that’s part of the reason it took me so long to speak up: I felt selfish, icky, and weird saying aloud that I’m struggling. Sometimes I still do... I’m speaking up now because I want people to know it can happen to anybody, and I don’t want people who have it to feel embarrassed or to feel alone. I also don’t want to pretend like I know everything about postpartum depression, because it can be different for everybody. But one thing I do know is that — for me — just merely being open about it helps.”
Will her struggle with PPD put the kibosh on any more kids with Legend? Oh, hell no.
“I love John and Luna more than I can imagine loving anything, and John and I still hope to give Luna a few siblings,” Teigen said. “Postpartum hasn’t changed that.”
Hey, postpartum depression: Like those Twitter trolls, you've been CLAPPED BACK. Sit down. Behave. Chrissy Teigen's doing the driving here.