Candace Cameron Bure, Sunny Hostin, Melissa Joan Hart, and More Talk Honestly About Raising Boys

"I’m grateful to have two boys. They're so very different from one another. One is very rough-and-tumble, highly energetic, and keeps me on my toes. The other is deeply creative, artistic, and asks a lot of big questions for a 5-year-old. They share a strong bond, and it's interesting for me to see how they teach one another and learn from each other. Because they're so little and are growing up in a home where they can express their individuality, right now, they are all love, and it makes my heart so joyful."

–Jaime King, star of Black Summer

“Boys tend to need things to be demonstrated to them when they’re younger. They may not hear you the first, second, or third time you tell them, so there’s a patience factor there. And sometimes you’ll tell them something, and they’ll immediately do the opposite. You have to learn, whether it’s because of their sex or because or their different personalities, how they relate to you and how they respond to you.”

–Benjamin Watson, tight end for the New Orleans Saints and author of The New Dad's Playbook: Gearing Up for the Biggest Game of Your Life

“I worry that they’ll make a really dumb teenaged-brain decision that will live on the internet forever - be it photos, videos, or words they’ll regret.”

–Candace Cameron Bure, star of Fuller House

"I have to say, I’m pretty impressed with the current generation of fathers right now. They are changing diapers and getting up in the middle of the night and feeding and bathing and putting the babies to bed. There aren’t typical mother and father roles anymore. I know our sons will watch their fathers and grow up to be amazing dads and keep this cycle going."

–Jessie James Decker, singer/songwriter, New York Times bestselling author of Just Jessie, and CEO of Kittenish

"My son is only 6, but we have discussions about how to use his physical strength and size as he grows up for good. To be a protector of animals, women, and children. To fight against bad guys and always be kind. At the same time, I try to make sure he appreciates that while he may be strong, that doesn’t make him superior to anyone."

–Jillian Michaels, fitness and nutrition expert

“I had so much fun with my son, getting to experience childhood in a different way than I did. I remember when he was not even a year old how excited he was for the trash truck to come by. Before he could talk, my son did an impression of the garbage truck. It was so funny. So then it became a weekly thing where we would go out on Friday mornings and cheer on the garbage men as they would come by. And obviously I wasn’t the only mom who this happened to, because the garbage men wave. I had other mothers who told me they would bake cookies for the garbage men. There were thousands of things like that. At one point, I knew the names of all the dinosaurs, and I knew all the different construction vehicles. I really got to experience those things in a different way than I did when I was a kid.”

–Alison Sweeney, star of The Chronicle Mysteries

"I think clothes are a reflection of a society. We associate being a boy - or being a man - with being strong and tough, which is why you see boys' shirts with slogans that say 'tough guy' or 'heartbreaker.' A few years ago, girls had to shop in the boys' section to find clothing with dinosaurs, rockets, and cars. Nowadays, girls may be able to find those items at major retailers. I am hoping that a similar shift will happen for boys. I think people - and parents of boys especially - like that we are redefining what it means to be a boy."

–Martine Zoer, founder of Quirkie Kids, a gender-neutral clothing retailer

“I think in this day and age, raising responsible, respectable boys is difficult, especially an African American boy in this climate where police are targeting young, black boys. It’s difficult to teach them to respect themselves, respect the law, and make them feel like everything is going to be fair when in reality, we’re not living in a world where things are necessarily fair. So I just want him to be a good kid. When they’re influenced by social media and what they see, it’s kind of hard to keep them levelheaded because you’re telling them one thing, but then they’re seeing something different on their phones or on television. You just have to say, ‘That’s just for show. That’s not real. People might rap about certain things, but that doesn’t mean they’re really out there doing that stuff. A lot of it is just for entertainment.’ As long as you keep an open dialog, I think you have a better chance of them understanding that."

–La La Anthony, television personality and author of The Power Playbook

"I wanted to start working with Drag Queen Story Hour because it seemed like a wonderful way to join two totally different groups together in a positive way. I tend to give the kids lots of color and bling, so when I first enter the room, they’re in awe and very curious about what I will do. Some of the boys are excited to see me, all sparkly and colorful, while other boys are just cool with it. But they know I’m not the regular storyteller at the library, for sure. Usually, they're shy at the beginning, but the end of the Story Hour, we’re taking pics, exchanging high fives, and some even ask for hugs. A few boys ask me about my outfit, especially those who come wearing tutus and other gender fluid looks. They compliment me on hair, shoes, and makeup. Drag Queen Story Hour has even incorporated makeup tutorials for older kids so that they can explore the world of makeup with a fun and glamorous guide. One boy of about 8 or 9 years came up to me after a reading and asked if I could be his babysitter when his parents were away. His mom chuckled, and so did I, but it made me feel good that he was so comfortable with me."

–Harmonica Sunbeam, entertainer and reader at Drag Queen Story Hour, where drag queens read to children at libraries, schools, and bookstores in the hopes of providing positive queer role models.

“My son is 4 years old and just started having his own ‘boys crew.' They pretend fight and exclude the girls at times. I try to make sure he stays open to the fact that activities can and should include girls as well, and I schedule playdates to help foster this behavior. In our household, we're also aware of how parents are stereotyped by gender and how that may impress upon our kids. I’ve visited Jake’s school to discuss my career as an entrepreneur, which will hopefully help change the standard expectations that mom is always the one at home.”

–Jenny Fleiss, co-founder and CEO of Jetblack

"My dad raised me to be an empowered woman, with the notion that girls could do anything. One of the things I wanted to impart to my son was that as a boy of color, he could also do anything - that was a big thing for me. I gave him a plaque that says, 'Be truthful. Be gentle. Be kind. Be honest.' I wanted that to be his mantra. We’re hearing so much about this toxic masculinity, and I’m thankful that I don’t see that in my kid. I see a kid that is very male, but really gentle. He’s 6’1”, with a size 13 shoe, and he’s only 16 so he’s not done growing, and he’s eating me out of house and home because he’s an athlete. He’s on the varsity football team, the varsity swim team, the varsity track team. But he’s quite gentle; he has a great sense of humor, and he will cry during a movie."

–Sunny Hostin, co-host of The View and Senior Legal Correspondent at ABC News

“Boys love their mamas and make you feel like the most special person in the world. The energy is high, but the drama can be less - unless it’s the kind of drama where you go to the ER for head wounds. Those increase with boys.”

–Melissa Joan Hart, co-star of No Good Nick

“We’ve worked really hard to make sure that their EQ is as high as their IQ. We acknowledge feelings. We don’t say, ‘You’re okay, you’re fine!’ when something bad happens. We say, ‘What are you feeling?’ We help find words for it. We talk through it. We teach them that crying is not weakness, and that you’re going to be happy, and you’re going to be sad, and everything in between, and all of those are okay, and they pass. We want them to be in touch with their feelings and know how to process them. Hopefully that helps them in their adult life."

–Yael Cohen Braun, founder and CEO of F*** Cancer

“Something that would have been really helpful for me through my gender journey would have been to have a mentor. Somebody to have my back when things got tough. I mentor a little boy who has been going to my store for almost four years now. He’s been coming in since he was 8 years old, and he’s 12 now. Just watching him grow and develop confidence makes me feel like I’m doing something good for him!”

–Jayde Sandoval, beauty advisor at Sephora, which offers makeup classes for members of the transgender community

“The biggest challenge in raising boys is guiding them, but not choosing for them. Teaching them self-awareness and respect of the opposite sex, which has a lot to do with how they see you as a mother and the love and respect they breathe within the family structure. Boys seem to never really grow up, but that is also the beauty of having boys.”

–Brigitte Nielsen, model, actress, and co-star of Creed II

“If you have sons that have lots of energy, teaching them how to channel it, how to respect it, and how it can have consequences is very important. On the other hand, boys have the pressure to be the tough ones, and if you have a sensitive, soft, and creative boy, you have to help him find balance so that he feels secure and doesn’t feel like he’s less than if he’s not tough. I have sons and a daughter, so as a mother it’s for sure a balancing act!”

–Camila Alves McConaughey, model, designer, and founder of Women of Today

“I really love the way my son articulates his thoughts. He says something like, ‘You’re as beautiful as a rainbow on a sunny day,’ and I’m all, ‘Aww, honey thank you.’ And then he goes off and plays his video games. I find him to be haphazardly romantic. I really want to know how he’s feeling. I work on him being able to articulate those thoughts, with me not standing in judgement of them.”

–Jill Scott, star of the upcoming The First Wives Club

“When I talked to my oldest boy about dating, I spoke to him not just about consent and respect for the young women he was dating, but also about the fact that I didn't want him to feel pressure to have sex if she wanted to and he wasn't ready. And we talked a lot about what ‘ready’ meant. I wanted him to know that he could say no, and that wouldn’t make him less of a man. Because those are the messages our boys get.”

–Ted Bunch, chief development officer, A Call To Men

“I definitely get joy from thinking about the person I want them to be and watching them become that person. Right now, my sons don’t have a gender normative framework yet. They see that their dad cooks dinner and I go to work, too, and they don’t have this idea of what I think is a more archaic view of the divisions of responsibilities in a house. When they ask me questions about things, it’s really hard, but I try to answer. They’ll say something like, ‘Is this for a girl?’ And I’ll tell them, ‘They made this for a girl, but it’s something you can wear, too, if you want.’”

–Katia Beauchamp, co-founder and CEO at Birchbox

"It’s an uncomplicated love, and it’s just really, really pure. I don’t see myself so much in them. If I had a daughter, I would see myself and maybe be frustrated with her for her shortcomings. With having boys, at least for me, I am able to completely separate my ego and just watch them and observe them develop as much as I can."

–Lindsay Price, co-star of Splitting Up Together

What are the biggest joys of raising a boy?

Jeannie: Enjoying the time of being the number one girl in their eyes before I inevitably fall off the pedestal.

Jim: Are there joys? Just kidding. For me, somehow raising boys seems harder than girls. If you leave little girls alone for a moment, when you return they will be quietly coloring. If you do the same with boys, when you return the boys will be chewing on a wall.

What are the biggest worries?

Jeannie: Losing them at an amusement park.

Jim: Failing them is my biggest worry. My wish is for each of my sons to be a better man than I am. I want them to be confident, compassionate men who are always trying to improve themselves and their community. While I’m napping.

–Jeannie and Jim Gaffigan, co-creators of The Jim Gaffigan Show