Britney Spears Speaks: 'I Apologize For Pretending Like I’ve Been OK'

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Photo credit: Isaac Brekken - Getty Images
Photo credit: Isaac Brekken - Getty Images

In the midst of an intensifying conservatorship battle against her father Jamie Spears, pop superstar Britney Spears has apparently released a public statement via Instagram. Accompanying an image of a small child with her stuffed animals and an Albert Einstein quote about fairy tales, the singer told her fans, “I don’t want people to think my life is perfect because IT’S DEFINITELY NOT AT ALL … and if you have read anything about me in the news this week 📰 … you obviously really know now it’s not !!!!”

For the first time in the history of her 13-year conservatorship case, Britney spoke publicly during a 40-minute Zoom testimony on June 23, during which she revealed a horrific account of trauma she suffered over the course of 10-plus years. She alleges that she was forced to go on tour when she didn't want to or was ill; forced to take lithium; forced to pay for a stint in a rehab in which she was watched constantly, including when she changed clothes or was naked; and forced to use an IUD as contraception, rather than have another baby—something she says she would like to do. She told the court the conservatorship, which was supposedly created for her protection and well-being, is “abusive.”

“To be honest with you, I haven’t been back to court for a long time because I don’t think I was heard on any level when I came to court the last time,” she told Judge Brenda Penny at the beginning of the testimony Wednesday.

“Anything that happened to me had to be approved by my Dad and my Dad acted like he didn’t know,” the singer said. “...And that is why I am telling you this again, two years later, after I have lied and told the whole world, I am okay and I’m happy. It’s a lie.

“...I just thought that maybe if I said that enough I might become happy because I’ve been in denial. I’ve been in shock. I am traumatized. You know, fake it till you make it? But now I am telling you the truth, okay, I’m not happy. I can’t sleep. I’m so angry it’s insane.”

On Thursday, June 24, Britney posted her first Instagram after the hearing. It's worth noting, however, that some fans allege the star does not control what is posted on her own social accounts, given that she has a social media manager and social team. It's possible this statement could have been created (or, at the least, edited) by that team.

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Read the full Instagram statement below:

“I just want to tell you guys a little secret 🤫 … I believe as people we all want the fairy tale life and by the way I’ve posted … my life seems to look and be pretty amazing … I think that’s what we all strive for !!!! That was one of my mother’s best traits … no matter how shitty a day was when I was younger … for the sake of me and my siblings she always pretended like everything was ok. I’m bringing this to peoples attention because I don’t want people to think my life is perfect because IT’S DEFINITELY NOT AT ALL … and if you have read anything about me in the news this week 📰 … you obviously really know now it’s not !!!! I apologize for pretending like I’ve been ok the past two years … I did it because of my pride and I was embarrassed to share what happened to me … but honestly who doesn’t want to capture there Instagram in a fun light 💡🤷🏼♀️ !!!! Believe it or not pretending that I’m ok has actually helped … so I decided to post this quote today because by golly if you’re going through hell … I feel like Instagram has helped me have a cool outlet to share my presence … existence … and to simply feel like I matter despite what I was going through and hey it worked … so I’ve decided to start reading more fairy tales 👑🧚♀️🦄 !!!!!”

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