The bride described the scenario in a post on the Reddit forum “Am I the A******,” in which users ask other users whether they acted inappropriately in a given situation or another party did.
“I have nothing against anyone in the military but this was a black-tie-optional wedding and frankly it felt very out of place and it seemed like he was just trying to show off,” she wrote. “My wedding had over 300 guests and nobody else felt the need to wear something to make them stand out.”
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The man was the son of one her husband’s family friends, and other than allegedly hijacking her big day, he acted like a perfect gentleman “as one might expect from a member of the armed forces,” she wrote. But she also implied he was making a spectacle of himself, enticing “a few excited teenage girls” to ask him to take pictures with them, “to which he graciously agreed.”
Of course, many other guests were approaching the military man and thanking him for his service, but to the bride, it was too big of a faux pas.
“Frankly it just felt like the only reason he wore that was to be in the spotlight and make it about him, which I don’t think you are supposed to do at someone else’s wedding,” she wrote.
“If he wants to wear that to his own wedding then fine, but the whole point of having a dress code at a wedding is so that no one guest will stand out too much. I felt that he should have known this, since the whole point of uniforms in the military is so that you don’t stand out from everyone else!”
The anonymous bride closed the letter by saying she “felt bad” about asking the man in the Marine formal uniform to leave, “but it just didn’t feel right for him to be there like that.” When she asked if she was being the a******, commenters answered — many also members of the military — but their responses may come as a surprise.
“Army here. Look, I wouldn’t want to wear my ASUs (much less my mess dress) to someone’s wedding. Even if they asked me,” one person wrote. “But that’s because my ASUs feel significantly less formal and awesome than the Marines formal uniform. Theirs actually looks classy and black tie. If I had that as an option, I might be like ‘I should definitely wear this to this fancy wedding.'”
Another member of the military wrote, “Wearing formal military wear at formal civilian events is allowed per regulations (Army is AR 670-1, no clue for Marines), but you have to be a special kind of a****** to wear it to a non-military wedding without specific permission of the couple. The reason for this is the same as wearing white to a wedding — this puts you in competition with the bride. He should have dressed in civilian wear, or at very least, checked with the couple getting married.”
That person did suggest, however, that the bride went a little too far.
“He was rude. No question, but kicking him out of the wedding was a bit much,” the user wrote. “It’s your special day, but you shouldn’t forget that you play dual roles — you are both the host and the one fêted. Don’t forget that former role. You probably should have grimaced and just gone with it along with other faux pas such as Uncle Larry puking in the bushes and cousin Jenny making out with the DJ. With 300 guests, one person in uniform isn’t going to kill your day.”
A third person put it simply: “Full on medals, man? To a civilian wedding? Come on.”
Others came to the Marine’s defense. One wrote, “He probably wore the d**n thing because it’s the formal thing that makes him feel the most awesome — not to steal the spotlight.” Another commented, “If he is young and right out of boot, money isn’t flowing yet for him to rent a tux. But he definitely should have checked with the couple first.”
Another commenter put it a little more bluntly, writing, “Over 300 people. Guy is in military formal wear and was very well-mannered. No question you’re an A. An over-dramatic, self-centered A.”
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