Cue the Mini Cooper jokes! Bradley Cooper and girlfriend Irina Shayk's bundle of (probably) (definitely) photogenic joy has arrived on the scene. A source reported the couple's first child wafted gently out of Shayk's Victoria's Secret-swathed body two weeks ago, and everyone is doing fine.
Except for us. We're cranky that Cooper and Shayk have so far declined to mention if it's a girl or a boy — information too precious for commoners with weak chins and less than optimal bone structure.
We're sure we'll hear about the sex of the baby eventually, but now it will just make us melancholy, like hearing about a wedding we weren't invited to.
The closest thing we have to a picture of the baby is Shayk's baby bump featured in a completely black ensemble in Disneyland back in February. Shayk was spotted there in a Minnie Mouse headband having a meet-and-greet with Pluto. (Could they have named their kid Minnie or Pluto? Oh, please, Universe, we are craving some weird celebrity baby names right now.)
Though active on Instagram, Shayk has been tight-lipped on the mysterious new arrival. The couple will be raising their child in Los Angeles — the City of Victoria's Secret Angels and painfully good-looking people.
“It seems L.A. is now their home base,” another source reported. “When they are together in L.A., they are very low-key and mostly hang out at home.” (We're imagining honorary auntie Jennifer Lawrence stopping by to liven things up. She would be a really fun babysitter, that one.)
Reps for Shayk and Cooper did not respond to requests for comment on the new arrival. Yawwwwn. Thanks, guys. We'll just hang around listlessly waiting for more information. No big deal. We've got nothing better to do.