- Billie Eilish opened up about her past in an interview with Rolling Stone.
- She admitted she's dealt with depression and panic attacks.
- Billie also revealed the address to her home was leaked online.
Billie Eilish is currently living her best life with a seemingly carefree attitude, but it wasn't always that way. In a new interview with Rolling Stone, Billie opened up about her past dealing with depression, body dysmorphia and the pressures of being a super famous unconventional pop star. Just before she exploded onto the music scene, Billie said that from 13 to 17 life was "rough." But now that she's 17 and thriving, Billie said that she's currently living out the best year of her life. "I haven’t been depressed in a minute, which is great,” she told the magazine. “Seventeen has probably been the best year of my life. I’ve liked 17.
But even the best year yet, still has its lows, thanks to the pressures of being famous. Billie said that her family's home address was recently leaked online, causing a host of other issues.
Three fans showed up to her house in one day and one of them was a "creepy older guy" who drove up there from San Diego. It was really traumatizing,” she told Rolling Stone. “I completely don’t feel safe in my house anymore, which sucks. I love my house.” For their protection, they had to have a bodyguard sleep in the living room for a while.
Billie also told the magazine that she really isn't looking forward to touring, since she hates being away from her friends too long. "It’s annoying,” she said. “I have this amazing thing in front of me, and I don’t want to hate it. And I don’t hate it. But I hate certain parts of it.” Billie said that she knows that when she gets back her friends will all dress differently and have all these new inside jokes.
She told the magazine that knowing she had to leave for tour soon made her feel hopeless. Billie admitted that she doesn't have anxiety or panic attacks, but that for one week she did. "I had a panic attack every single night. I cried for two hours every night. It was really, really bad," she said. "It felt like an endless limbo. Like there was no end in sight. And, I mean, it’s true: There really is no end in sight with touring."
In the interview, Billie also revealed that her dancing days led to her body dysmorphia, a condition where you can't stop thinking or feeling shame about a perceived minor or non-observable flaw. Billie used to perform with a competitive dance company dancing o genres like ballet, tap and hip-hop.
But she said her time as a dancer was when she felt most insecure. "I wasn’t as confident. I couldn’t speak and just be normal. When I think about it or see pictures of me then, I was so not ok with who I was.” She said the "tiny clothes" she had to wear made her insecurity even worse. "I was always worried about my appearance. That was the peak of my body dysmorphia. I couldn’t look in the mirror at all.”
But when her an injury to the growth plate in her hip pretty much ended her dancing career, Billie spiraled into a deep depression that included a phase of self-harm. "I think that’s when the depression started,” she said. “It sent me down a hole. I went through a whole self-harming phase — we don’t have to go into it. But the gist of it was, I felt like I deserved to be in pain," she told Rolling Stone.
Billie admitted that now she's in a much better place, and though her job comes with its lows, she knows just how good she has it. "I have an amazing job, dude. I really do. The things I get to do in my career have just been unbelievable. Like this sh*t, bro? Can you believe this is real?”
Billie didn't reveal when she's dropping new music, but we're all hoping it's soon.
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