'Bachelor in Paradise' alum Tanner Tolbert talks about sex after baby no. 2: 'I beg for it'

Tanner Tolbert talks about his sex life with wife Jade Roper after welcoming baby number 2. (Photo: Instagram)
Tanner Tolbert talks about his sex life with wife Jade Roper after welcoming baby number 2. (Photo: Instagram)

Bachelor in Paradise alum Tanner Tolbert is opening up about his sex life with wife Jade Roper after the couple welcomed baby number two, admitting that he feels “selfish” about begging for intimacy.

Just one month after Roper gave birth to the pair’s baby boy, Brooks, the father-of-two spoke with fellow “Bachelor” franchise alum Nick Viall on his podcast, The Viall Files. There, Tolbert was asked to give some insight into how he and Roper keep their romance alive after having two children.

“It’s changed completely,” Tolbert responded. “I want some sex more now, Jade wants it less.”

Tolbert went on to explain that he and Roper’s sex life had initially taken a “dive” after welcoming their daughter, Emmy, 2. He said that breastfeeding “jacked” with Roper’s hormones, and just as she finished breastfeeding their daughter, she got pregnant with their son.

“Went through the whole pregnancy and now, he’s here and we have two kids. It is tough,” he said. “I feel like I beg for it. And I don’t want to feel selfish. I hate asking, I hate trying cause like I don’t want it to be like, pity sexy, and I don’t want to annoy Jade and I realize that her priorities should be on the kids and not me. But I do feel like I’ve been put on the back burner.”

Sheryl A. Ross, MD, an ob-gyn and author of She-ology: The Definitive Guide to Women’s Health tells Yahoo Lifestyle that this is normal amongst new moms, especially those who are breastfeeding.

“The first 6 weeks are the hardest hormonally and physically for both women and men. If breastfeeding is involved there are hormonal changes that make life miserable,” she says. “Plus all the nuances of dealing with a newborn make the hormonal changes even worse. Not sleeping well, feeling exhausted, breasts leaking all over day and night and carrying all the extra weight that you gained in pregnancy.”

Ross explains that most ob-gyn’s will recommend that a new mom takes “pelvic rest” for 6 weeks after giving birth, whether vaginally or by C-section.

“Between 6 weeks to 3 months, many women experience painful intercourse,” she adds. “Fantasizing about the next time to have sex with their partner is usually not at the top of a woman’s postpartum wish list.”

In fact, while Tolbert was talking about the couple’s sex life, Roper simultaneously opened up about some health issues that their son is facing in an Instagram story posted on Tuesday.

According to US Weekly, Roper was giving an update on the one-month-old’s stomach sensitivities after having to go dairy-free while breastfeeding her daughter.

“I thought I was gonna have to go dairy free with him, but then he was being such a good baby and he was sleeping well and he wasn’t really fussy and he was nursing really well,” she said. “I was eating dairy and soy and all that good stuff, thinking that he was OK, and then about at 2 weeks, he started to really get fussy again and to the point where he was crying nonstop almost all night and during the day.”

Roper also revealed that Brooks has a lip tie, which can keep the upper lip from moving freely and can make breastfeeding difficult. However, his pediatrician advised that she and Tolbert don’t have it fixed.

“We’re trusting her and not revising his lip tie,” Roper said.

Throughout the difficulties of being new parents, including Tolbert’s admittedly tough time building an immediate connection with Brooks, the 32-year-old calls being a dad the “best thing that's ever happened to me.” Especially since he’s doing it with Roper by his side.

“We are each other's best friends and we balance each other out,” he said. “We're just both committed to each other. At the end of the day, I think being committed to someone and fighting through lows will make it work.”

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