A Dad Keeps Making This Babysitter Feel Bad For Charging While His Kid Is Sleeping. Who Is In The Wrong Here?

·4 min read

Let's get right into this "Am I the Asshole" Reddit thread! (I'm gonna assume all of you know what these are about by now. If not — go here!) So, today our original poster (OP) is a babysitter who wants to know if they are an a-hole for expecting payment while the child they watch is sleeping.

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And you know this is going to be juicy when the OP starts off by saying, "I think I’m the asshole, but I need perspective..."

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For a little bit of background about the situation, our OP has been babysitting one 22-month-old for a year. "I get paid $20 an hour, I’m an EMT-Basic, and speak Spanish. So, the baby learns Spanish," she said in the thread.

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The OP goes on to say that there have been multiple times where the dad has made comments about how he "hates that she's there while the baby is napping." The OP goes on to explain, "While the baby is napping, I clean up after messes, sometimes wash the bottles if he hasn't yet, help the mom with Spanish homework, make flashcards, or make the baby food."

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And the dad recently made another comment that pushed the OP over the edge. "'You get expensive if you’re here while the baby is napping,' [he said]. It feels like a slap in the face because of what I do while she's sleeping. They’re pretty well off, and it's frustrating to think that they can spend money on lavish things but not a service," the OP said.

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"I left (although I was supposed to stay another hour) because I got frustrated. I’m thinking about quitting because this isn't all I put up with. I feel bad quitting because I love the child; she's like a little sister to me. Please give me perspective, am I the asshole?!?!"

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A quick look into the comments of this Reddit thread allows us to breathe a sigh of relief as nearly every person agreed that the OP is not the asshole.

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One person came in with this valid point: "If you're 'on the clock,' it doesn't matter if the baby is napping or not. Your job is to look after the child. Would he prefer if every time the baby naps, you just take off? 'Okay, baby's asleep. I'm gonna go hang out with some friends. Call me when baby wakes up.' WTF is he thinking?"

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u/jstonesworld

Another with this perspective: "I work with the elderly, and a lot of them don’t like paying people for 'sitting around and doing nothing.' Well, you don’t need help 24/7, but you need help with washing, dressing, food prep, marketing — and making sure you don’t wander outside in your undies at 3 a.m. You pay people during your down times so that they will be there when you need them."

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u/ReluctantVegetarian

Someone even brought in this insight direct from the Supreme Court: "Employment law makes a distinction between 'waiting to engage' and 'engaged to wait.' OP was engaged to wait. The general rule emanating from early Supreme Court cases is that if the waiting time is spent primarily for the benefit of the employer, it is compensable. And, determining whether the time is spent for the employer’s benefit is 'dependent upon all the circumstances.'"

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You can read more about this employment law here.

When it comes to communication with the father, some thought the OP needed to start being more direct. "You're not being as clear with him as you need to be. You are paid for your time. Napping or not, a 22-month-old can't be left alone — he knows that. So, tell him. Tell him you love the child, you're an EMT with language skills, and that's your rate. I'm guessing he'd like to offer (or he'd like you to offer) a discount for when the kid is asleep. You're still spending your time, so the rate doesn't change."

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u/Cjack66

And, finally, a lot of people said it was a red flag and to just leave. "Quit. You already do more than childcare. For that same work, they would have to hire a cleaning person and a tutor. If he wants to change hours, fine, but he should just ask instead of making comments about it."

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OK, now, do all of you agree with these comments or not? Parents and babysitters: Let us know your perspective in the comments!!

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