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I recently had the opportunity to sit down with the Queen of fixing lives, Iyanla Vanzant.
For the last seven seasons, Iyanla has dug in deep with all of her guests, getting them to self-reflect and look deep within to resolve various issues they have in their lives.
On April 10, the eighth and final season of Iyanla, Fix My Life kicked off with a return visit from actress LisaRaye, who had previously appeared on the show along with her mother and daughter—described as “three queens in one castle” by Vanzant. Their season 7 visit did not end with the type of resolution that LisaRaye was looking for.
Three generations of women living in the same house is not at all easy, especially when generational trauma is a prevalent factor, so Lisa came back as the first guest of season 8 to be “walked through the valleys” by Vanzant.
“I realized...if Lisa can clean up some stuff, perhaps the other two queens will be able to align or fall in line, so she agreed and came back, and I was able to walk her through some very sacred lessons that I think all women have to learn, and I wrote about them 30 years ago in The Value in the Valley,” Vanzant said. “And so I walked Lisa through the valleys to help her get clear about what was really going on for her.”
She acknowledged that generational trauma is a huge challenge for many people, and recognizing that is an important part of the healing process.
“The same way we inherit our hair texture and our eye color and our nose shape, we inherit things from the generations before us,” she said. “The challenge is that what those generations may have needed or lived with in order to survive, we don’t need or live with.”
“The things that worked for them, that they passed on to us don’t necessarily work for us. The things that they did not have because of the world and society are things that we have and things that we need,” she continued. “As women, we have to learn some lessons in order to fully occupy our throne.”
As you know, Auntie Unfiltered is a strong advocate for investing in your mental health, talking to a therapist, and untangling your knots. You can not heal your relationships with others without first healing your relationship with yourself.
Watch the episode and let me know what you think in the comments.
As always, I want to hear from you. If you have questions, comments, concerns; if you need advice, or even if you have a topic that you think I should discuss, please hit me up at AuntieSubmissions@TheRoot.com.