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Amy Schumer Thinks She Looks Like Dianna Agron “Stung by a Million Bees”

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Amy Schumer is a size 6 — and proud of it! She’s below the national female average, a size 12 to 14, yet because she doesn’t fit the stereotypical actress archetype, she’s met with a different set of questions, double standards, and expectations. The comedienne, who will host the MTV Movie Awards on Sunday, opened up to Ellen Degeneres on her daytime talk show about being a Hollywood unicorn.

“I don’t fit in here,” she said of being in sunny California. “Just straight-up body type. Like in L.A., my arms register as legs and it’s like, ‘Why is that octopus out on Sunset?’ It’s not for me out here … I just sit in my room bawling,” Schumer admitted sarcastically (with a hint of virtuous truth).

While she’s obviously exaggerating, the Comedy Central star divulged that her unique status within the entertainment industry has even kept her from befriending peers, more specifically, thin, blonde, and perky Dianna Agron. “She played the cheerleader Quinn. That lets you know how hot she is … If my name were Quinn on a show, they’d be like, ‘Oh, the jolly Irish groundskeeper that does a jig time and again?’” She continued, “I look like her if she were stung by a million bees. It’s true! I look like her if she were like becoming The Hulk. She wanted to be friends and I’m like, ‘We can’t. We’re not the same thing.’ She was telling me hot people problems, like, ‘He won’t stop calling,’ and I’m like, ‘I hate that.’”

Hot people problems like posing on the red carpet, a practice even the most accomplished red carpet stars can’t even seem to master (hello, Lea Michele!). “The whole night [Agron]’s posing because she knows people are taking pictures of her. I obviously don’t! I learned that my resting face is just a scowl. And I learned that I have what I now call an ‘at-risk chin.’ [My neck-to-chin area] is not a good section. If I don’t keep it at sea level it just doubles itself … I’ve got no idea people are taking pictures. I’m pounding red wine. I thought it was great.”

Her positive outlook and absurd yet totally amusing attitude make her a rare breed. A welcome one (no matter if she’s a loner that can’t take a step-and-repeat photo or not).

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