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Amy Schumer in all her size 6 glory. Photo: Getty Images
Amy Schumer’s new movie Trainwreck seems like it’s the romantic comedy for millennials. The demographic that has pushed back starting careers and instead living at home with their parents past the formally socially acceptable age; forestalled marrying and having kids; and taken their entire lives out of reality and into cyberspace (seriously, it’s possible to have an app as a boyfriend). Judging by the trailer, Schumer captures all of this — and more — in the film, and based on just the preview, it’s going to be the hit that takes the comedian from Comedy Central to superstardom. But not everyone is so excited to see this happen. Jeffrey Wells, the man behind the blog Hollywood Elsewhere, opined that Schumer’s size and looks make her unfit for a leading lady role.
“[Schumer’s] obviously sharp and clever and funny as far as the woe-is-me, self-deprecating thing goes, but there’s no way she’d be an object of heated romantic interest in the real world,” Wells wrote. “Schumer, no offense, looks like a blonde Lou Costello around the time of Buck Privates, or like Jennifer Aniston’s somewhat heavier, not-as-lucky sister who watches a lot of TV and should probably work out more.”
No offense? NO OFFENSE? Just because you add “no offense” before the nasty remark doesn’t make it inoffensive. Then, after being rightly berated for his size-ist, age-ist, sexist, he attempted to defend himself and instead stuck his foot in his mouth again. Wells reasons that standards of hotness have changed over time and “Schlumpies and Dumpies” — his revolting term for people below an 8 on the hotness scale — and back in his heyday, women who looked like Schumer would never be approached at a bar by a men, let alone multiple guys. “I grew up in a world in which conventionally attractive or semi-attractive people used to be the ones who got laid the most often,” he wrote. “…she’s not grade-A or even B-plus material, certainly by my standards as well as those of any moderately attractive, fair-minded youngish heterosexual dude who’s feeling hormonal or what-have-you.”
Wells condemns how standards of beauty have changed recently to be more accepting of women that don’t have bodies like a Victoria’s Secret model or casting men like Seth Rogen as objects of people’s affection. But instead of critiquing these transformations, everyone (misogynists included) should be accepting and rejoicing how inclusive mass media has become.
As for Schumer, she told Wells off in her true comedic genius form. Along with a picture of her wearing nothing but underwear and heels, she tweeted, “I am a size 6 and have no plans of changing. This is it. Stay on or get off. Kisses!” Schumer is precisely the kind of woman that should be nabbing leading roles. She’s smart, witty, a hard worker, and doesn’t fit into a sample size (most women don’t). It’s people like her that should be front and center on television, in movies, and featured in magazines. The words of one misguided man aren’t as strong as a feature film — or Schumer’s 1 million Twitter followers.