Courtesy Alexandra Roxo
Alexandra Roxo has dedicated her life’s work to sharing women’s stories and helping them reclaim their sexuality and their power. After graduating from New York University, she spent more than a decade as a filmmaker, artist, actress, and director, telling tough stories about hardships that women face, from human trafficking to other forms of sexual abuse. After leaving the film and visual arts industries, she started helping people who have faced trauma regain their strength — mostly through yoga, retreats, and other forms of spiritual mentorship.
Now, with her debut sex-positive book, F*ck Like a Goddess: Heal Yourself. Reclaim Your Voice. Stand in Your Power, the transformational and erotic coach hopes to continue her mission to inspire women to connect to a lioness-like feminine energy. “I hope people who read my book feel complete self-acceptance,” she says. “And I hope they’re able to love themselves fully, love other people fully, face collective [hardships] as they face their own, and share their gifts with the world.”
Courtesy Alexandra Roxo
Tapping Into the “Divine Feminine”: Roxo, who grew up traveling between Brazil and the U.S., says she first started connecting with her spirituality when she was 19 and studying abroad in Italy. After taking her first yoga and meditation classes there, she realized something important was being overlooked.
“I remember meditating in a cave for like two hours after I had just started my period,” she says. “I was in so much pain and I asked the leader if I could move or sit in a different way. But he said, ‘No this is how yogis sit. You have to sit cross-legged in real meditation, it transcends your body!’” That’s when Roxo took her first stand. “I was like, ‘No there is something missing here.’ And that’s when I decided that my mission was to help welcome [feminine] energy back into [these practices].” When Roxo started exploring different traditions and focusing on what’s called the “divine feminine,” or spiritual energy that’s connected to women from past generations, she realized how often women are demeaned and ignored throughout history. “I remember thinking, ‘Why have women been raped and abused and trafficked? Why did you guys tell me my body is dirty and sinful and I should, like, stuff cotton up there and be quiet?’” she says. “I was pissed. And I’m still pissed. That was my early feminist awakening.”
But she wants to be clear: By “feminine,” she means anything but meek. “’Feminine’ doesn’t mean ‘pink’ and it doesn’t mean ‘soft,’” she says. “[Instead] think about at a lioness who fiercely protects her baby. I think there’s a great rebalancing that happens when we invite in all that’s been repressed for thousands of years, which we’re seeing now in our anti-racist work, through indigenous people rising, and in honoring women and children.”
Remotely Re-Energized: “I'm used to going on meditation retreats and sitting in ceremonies and doing all kinds of spiritual and internal work,” Roxo says. “But quarantine has imposed that internal work time on people who aren’t so used to it. Because we’ve taken away some of the things that we love, like human connection, concerts, gyms, and other distractions.” Roxo says most of her clients, whom she has been able to work with remotely during this time have come to her for help overcoming various understandable fears pegged to their physical safety and overall security. “Money, home, and body — if our relationship to any of these key elements is out of whack, then we feel completely de-stabilized,” she says, adding that she has been suggesting alternative ways to deal with the stress.
“[I’ve been talking about] what kind of breath work can we do, what kind of vitamin C treatments can we do, where can we find joy, and how can we release emotions — laugh, dance, or even cry — as alternative ways to support our immune system besides just hand sanitizer.” Roxo has also helped coach women who have come to her feeling very disconnected from their sexuality during quarantine, encouraging them to re-connect with and love their bodies.
New Beginnings: Part of the reason Roxo left the film industry to pursue mentorship and spiritual wellness, unsurprisingly, stems from her negative experience with men in the industry. “There were times when I was treated differently because I was the only woman,” she says. “There were times where I was sexually harassed. There were times when I would be paid half of what my male counterpart would make. There were a lot of heart breaks in those moments. And I did speak up many times, but it still was really uncomfortable.” These days, Roxo doesn’t stand for that kind of negativity. “I have been working in really healthy environments. I work for myself with other women and I just have no tolerance for that kind of behavior anymore,” she says. “But I know that many other women still face it every day.”
Courtesy Alexandra Roxo
Badass Balance: For Roxo, being a badass woman means taking risks. “You have to be so passionate about what you believe that you do not care what people think,” she says. “The people that really impact culture, politics, and history are those who are willing to take risks. We all need that kind of courage right now. And, for me, it's important to have fun while you are doing it.” Roxo says balancing her time spent talking to women who have faced intense traumas with time spent doing things that help her unwind, like dancing, helps her stay centered.
Goddess Guru: Roxo’s book was originally set to release in May. Little did the author, spiritual teacher, mentor, and artist know that postponing her launch to July would mean publishing in the middle of a nation-wide cultural and racial revolution. But, she says, the concepts she explores in F*ck Like A Goddess are perhaps more important now than ever. “The book is really about how to have the courage to transform, heal, love, shine, and speak up,” she says. “And right now, we’re uncovering thousands of years of buried pain that’s been stored in our bodies. I think there are tools in my book about [how to deal with] all of this.” Roxo says her ultimate goal is to continue teaching women how to live their lives to the absolute fullest. “Whether you’re loving or making love or even creating an organization, it all [requires] the same [mentality],” she says. “You don’t play it safe or hold back.”