As modern-day mothers, we’re expected to juggle it all and never complain—it was our choice to embark on this magical journey, right? The motherhood community app Peanut just launched a campaign called “Invisible Mothers” that proves just how unappreciated moms these days feel.
The company surveyed 3,600 women for their “State of Invisibility” paper, and their findings were alarming. Seventy-nine percent of participants admitted to feeling invisible as mothers or potential mothers, and 98% believe this severely impacts women’s mental health. Ninety-five percent felt unappreciated, unacknowledged or unseen in their role, with 94% saying their identity has been minimized to just being a mom. A whopping 99% expressed feeling societal pressure to “do it all and be it all,” while 96% felt expected to put themselves last and self-sacrifice. To put it simply: nearly every mother feels invisible. And that is not OK.
Thankfully, in addition to highlighting the problem, Peanut is also offering solutions on how society can help lessen the burden placed on women by suggesting ways to reframe the way we speak about motherhood and children. Here are some examples:
“How is the baby?” → “How are you really? Mentally, emotionally and physically?”
“When are you going to give that man some children?” → “Do you want children?”
“Was the pregnancy planned?” → “Are you excited?”
“How do you do it all?” → “How is the mental load?”
“Society needs to change. Women feel hesitant addressing their challenges with those in positions of power meaning we must foster an environment where women feel valued, supported, and willing to voice their needs,” Rachel Goldman, PhD, FTOS, and licensed psychologist said in a statement about the survey. It’s imperative to break stigmas—normalizing both parents’ active roles, mental health support and nurturing communication. The words we hear and use greatly affect us individually and as a society—we internalize things that we see and hear.
“But it doesn’t take grand gestures to offer support,” Dr. Goldman continued. “A genuine ‘how are you’ or ‘thinking of you’ can significantly shift perceptions, signaling to someone that they matter. Fundamentally, it’s the butterfly effect in practice—small changes or actions, like compassionate conversations, can have profound impacts. By acknowledging and addressing these issues, we can begin to reconstruct the societal infrastructure to truly support motherhood.”
If you feel like you’re experiencing depression or anxiety, contact your provider right away. If you are having thoughts about harming yourself or someone else, you can call The National Suicide and Crisis Lifeline at 988 or go to the emergency room.