Abigail Heringer reflects on being the first deaf ‘Bachelor’ contestant’: My disability isn’t my defining trait’

Abigail Heringer made history and headlines as soon as she first appeared on television screens during the Jan. 2021 premiere of the 25th season of The Bachelor. But while she gained notoriety as the show's first deaf contestant, the 27-year-old explains that her disability is "not all of who I am."

"It's scary obviously talking about a disability, especially one that's a hidden disability, and it’s also one that a lot of people aren't familiar with," she says. "I really didn't realize how monumental it was going to be."

She also worried that people might react in a negative way. "'Oh, she's not deaf enough to be labeled the first deaf contestant,' 'She's not using sign language,'" she thought some might say.

Instead, Heringer was quickly embraced for sharing her disability on such a large platform and realized that there was a big opportunity to educate audiences on what living with deafness really looks like. Still, her narrative was subject to the show's editing.

"The thing about the show is that was kind of the first time experiencing, 'OK, that's the deaf girl.' They only really show the conversations around my hearing loss," she explains. "It's always just been something that's a part of my life, you know, I'm deaf, I wear a cochlear implant. My disability isn't my defining trait, it's not all of who I am."

She notes that while representation is a good thing, being labeled by a disability can make it seem like "a horrible trauma" or something that she's had to suffer through. "Being deaf is not a bad thing," she explains. "You know, it is hard. But bad and hard [are] two very different things."

Video Transcript

[MUSIC PLAYING]

ABIGAIL HERINGER: It's scary, obviously, talking about disability, especially one that's a hidden disability and then also one that a lot of people aren't very familiar with, but it's really a good thing if you just come out and you say it and have confidence when you say it.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

I was born profoundly deaf, and then I got the surgery to get the cochlear implant when I was 2 and 1/2 years old. It's not like glasses where you can just put them on and you can see right away or you put a hearing aid on and the sound is immediately better. You have to train your brain with speech therapy, sound repetition just to get used to what is that sound and kind of training your brain to develop those sounds in your head.

My older sister also has it as well. She was always proud to talk about it. I always was the one that never talked about my disability. I just didn't really have the confidence to talk about it. So my past dating with a cochlear implant has been interesting. It just takes one sentence to say like, hey, having a great time with you. I have a cochlear implant, by the way, so if I don't pick up something, but it's really hard to be that vulnerable, like, when you're on a Hinge date or you're on a Bumble date. And for some reason, I've always struggled just saying it flat out.

I was like, so my dating hasn't been great, let me change something about it. So there's something a little bit different about me, and that is I'm deaf.

MATT JAMES: Mm-hmm.

ABIGAIL HERINGER: So I'm going to be reading your lips a lot tonight.

MATT JAMES: OK.

ABIGAIL HERINGER: Being the first deaf contestant on "The Bachelor," I really didn't realize how monumental it was going to be. I wasn't sure how people were going to respond to it in terms of, oh, she's not deaf enough to be labeled the first deaf contestant, she's not using sign language. And then for the response to be, wow, I've never heard of a cochlear implant before this, or she doesn't know any sign language and she's deaf, that's something I've never seen before. People are curious. People will want to ask questions. They want to learn more.

I think the thing about the show is that was kind of the first time experiencing like, OK, that's the deaf girl. They only really show the conversations around my hearing loss. It's always just been something that's been a part of my life, you know. I'm deaf. I wear a cochlear implant. My disability isn't my defining trait. It's not all of who I am. It's good to have that representation, but at the same time, it just makes the disability and the deafness seem like, oh, it's a horrible trauma, like she's been through a lot. No, yeah, I'm deaf, I wear a cochlear implant, but being deaf is not a bad thing.

You know, it is hard, but bad and hard is two very different things. It's always been really important for me to incorporate my hearing loss into my platform and to share resources, to share information. I want to obviously share what my relationship is like with my boyfriend Noah and how he supports me as deaf person. He just makes me feel really empowered when I talk about my hearing loss. I never feel like a burden.

He can kind of tell I didn't pick up on something. He'll kind of chime in and say like, oh, this person said this, and that just makes me feel really included. He'll charge my batteries for me. In the morning, he'll hand me my battery. Just small things like that. Also just show how normal life can be. I just love being able to share it with other people as well.