A Father's Confessions: The Vacation That Made Me Learn to Love my Baby

  • There are countless reasons why this is a bad idea. Just ignore them Before even checking flights, the easiest thing of all is to talk yourself out of it. Had we made a pros and cons list in advance, I’m certain the cons would have dramatically outnumbered the pros. Babies provide enough daily surprises while we’re in the flow of our routines, within the comfort of our homes. And surely, that number of fear inducing “what ifs” is guaranteed to multiply when you’re in a strange land where you don’t speak the language, don’t know your way around, and can’t call anyone for help.
    1/16

    A Father's Confessions: The Vacation That Made Me Learn to Love my Baby

    There are countless reasons why this is a bad idea. Just ignore them Before even checking flights, the easiest thing of all is to talk yourself out of it. Had we made a pros and cons list in advance, I’m certain the cons would have dramatically outnumbered the pros. Babies provide enough daily surprises while we’re in the flow of our routines, within the comfort of our homes. And surely, that number of fear inducing “what ifs” is guaranteed to multiply when you’re in a strange land where you don’t speak the language, don’t know your way around, and can’t call anyone for help.
  • You’ll be fine.
    2/16

    Accept it, ignore it, and book the flights

    You’ll be fine.
  • Honestly, my biggest concern was over packing. Where there’s baby, there’s stuff. Lots and lots of stuff. And, all that stuff wasn’t coming with us. One bag too many would cripple us. Two people can only push two suitcases and a stroller, so it was vital that we fit everything into those two suitcases.
    3/16

    Pack like your life depends on it

    Honestly, my biggest concern was over packing. Where there’s baby, there’s stuff. Lots and lots of stuff. And, all that stuff wasn’t coming with us. One bag too many would cripple us. Two people can only push two suitcases and a stroller, so it was vital that we fit everything into those two suitcases.
  • Easton’s room full of toys and books would be reduced to one small backpack, which he didn’t seem to mind. He ended up spending as much time playing with spoons, receipts, and bread as he did with his toys. For baby food and diapers, we packed only enough to get us through the flight. No reason to waste precious space on things we could buy more of when we got there.
    4/16

    Keep it light

    Easton’s room full of toys and books would be reduced to one small backpack, which he didn’t seem to mind. He ended up spending as much time playing with spoons, receipts, and bread as he did with his toys. For baby food and diapers, we packed only enough to get us through the flight. No reason to waste precious space on things we could buy more of when we got there.
  • The game changer was the car seat. Though we would be taking planes, trains, buses, and the occasional taxi, lugging a car seat around Europe would have tipped us over the edge. I carefully planned my case before delicately broaching the subject with my wife. Merely suggesting we carry our baby in a moving vehicle was met with a barrage of judgment against my fundamental ability to parent. It took some time while she deliberated on this, but Elana eventually agreed. Every day for those three weeks, we breathed a deep sigh of relief at leaving that car seat behind.
    5/16

    Leave the car seat behind

    The game changer was the car seat. Though we would be taking planes, trains, buses, and the occasional taxi, lugging a car seat around Europe would have tipped us over the edge. I carefully planned my case before delicately broaching the subject with my wife. Merely suggesting we carry our baby in a moving vehicle was met with a barrage of judgment against my fundamental ability to parent. It took some time while she deliberated on this, but Elana eventually agreed. Every day for those three weeks, we breathed a deep sigh of relief at leaving that car seat behind.
  • This was a family trip. So, we had to pace it more slowly than our former escapades. Six days in Lucerne is far more than enough time for such a quaint city, and it’s tempting to split that time elsewhere. However, packing up the room, boarding a train, and settling into a new destination is exhausting. Spending more time in fewer cities allowed us to enjoy a relaxed pace, without any pressure to cram our sight seeing into a few short days. And, even after those six days in Lucerne, I was still sad to leave.
    6/16

    Reframe your state of mind: this won’t be like the trips you used to take

    This was a family trip. So, we had to pace it more slowly than our former escapades. Six days in Lucerne is far more than enough time for such a quaint city, and it’s tempting to split that time elsewhere. However, packing up the room, boarding a train, and settling into a new destination is exhausting. Spending more time in fewer cities allowed us to enjoy a relaxed pace, without any pressure to cram our sight seeing into a few short days. And, even after those six days in Lucerne, I was still sad to leave.
  • Once we settled on this plan, the days effortlessly fell into place, and we grew blissfully at ease. There was no longer any pressure to reach for the overly ambitious activity. Some of the restaurants, theaters and museums would have to wait for another trip. And that’s perfectly fine, because sometimes just being in Paris together should be enough.
    7/16

    Take it easy

    Once we settled on this plan, the days effortlessly fell into place, and we grew blissfully at ease. There was no longer any pressure to reach for the overly ambitious activity. Some of the restaurants, theaters and museums would have to wait for another trip. And that’s perfectly fine, because sometimes just being in Paris together should be enough.
  • A couple days into the trip, we decided to arrange our days similar to how we would at home. This meant abandoning expectations of a big romantic getaway. It meant letting go of the nightlife. It meant lunches out, and dinners in. And, it meant scaling back on the number of sights we would see each day. But, it also meant enjoying more time in farmer’s markets, and crafting little romantic nights in around the unique ingredients we picked up.
    8/16

    Let go of your routine

    A couple days into the trip, we decided to arrange our days similar to how we would at home. This meant abandoning expectations of a big romantic getaway. It meant letting go of the nightlife. It meant lunches out, and dinners in. And, it meant scaling back on the number of sights we would see each day. But, it also meant enjoying more time in farmer’s markets, and crafting little romantic nights in around the unique ingredients we picked up.
  • After spending eight hours on three trains from the south of France to the Swiss Alps, you might arrive desperately in need of a frosty Alpine beer in a loud, local pub. You may also have only two diapers left in the reserve. If you find yourself in a situation like this, do yourself a favor, and go find that pub. A round of beers with your partner will remind you of those spirited adventures you used to take, and make you feel instantly young again. Yes, you’ll be that couple in a loud bar with a baby strapped to your chest. But, don’t worry about that. And, the two remaining diapers should get you through the night.
    9/16

    Okay, it can be a little like the trips you used to take.

    After spending eight hours on three trains from the south of France to the Swiss Alps, you might arrive desperately in need of a frosty Alpine beer in a loud, local pub. You may also have only two diapers left in the reserve. If you find yourself in a situation like this, do yourself a favor, and go find that pub. A round of beers with your partner will remind you of those spirited adventures you used to take, and make you feel instantly young again. Yes, you’ll be that couple in a loud bar with a baby strapped to your chest. But, don’t worry about that. And, the two remaining diapers should get you through the night.
  • The next day, make it up to your baby by visiting a local park. This is one of those activities that can truly give you a taste of the local flavor. Time on the swings, and a romp in the sandbox helped remind us of just how similar parents are around the world. These little park visits were among of the highlights of our trip. They allowed us to connect with local parents, and experience a quality of neighborhood living that truly made us feel at home, despite being half way around the world.
    10/16

    Visit a park

    The next day, make it up to your baby by visiting a local park. This is one of those activities that can truly give you a taste of the local flavor. Time on the swings, and a romp in the sandbox helped remind us of just how similar parents are around the world. These little park visits were among of the highlights of our trip. They allowed us to connect with local parents, and experience a quality of neighborhood living that truly made us feel at home, despite being half way around the world.
  • We went into the trip expecting that everyone would hate us. On intercontinental planes, cross-country trains, in chic café’s, hushed museums, and swanky stores on Champs-Elysees, we would be those audacious Americans, disrespectfully towing a screaming baby, ruining everything for everyone. To my great delight, reality was quite different.
    11/16

    Be prepared to see the world in a beautiful new way

    We went into the trip expecting that everyone would hate us. On intercontinental planes, cross-country trains, in chic café’s, hushed museums, and swanky stores on Champs-Elysees, we would be those audacious Americans, disrespectfully towing a screaming baby, ruining everything for everyone. To my great delight, reality was quite different.
  • Easton was a magnet for positive energy. New friends emerged all around us, drawn in by the things that make babies so irresistible. Easton’s presence opened our eyes to the one beautiful, universal constant we failed to consider: regardless of our cultural differences, people everywhere possess a loving tenderness for the joy that babies provide.
    12/16

    You’ll meet people

    Easton was a magnet for positive energy. New friends emerged all around us, drawn in by the things that make babies so irresistible. Easton’s presence opened our eyes to the one beautiful, universal constant we failed to consider: regardless of our cultural differences, people everywhere possess a loving tenderness for the joy that babies provide.
  • Even when Easton was getting fussy at the Louvre, or completely losing it at a restaurant, somebody nearby would come over and sing to him, or just give us that gentle smile that says, “I know. It’s tough. But, you’re doing great.” Traveling with our baby opened our eyes to just how kind, patient, and understanding people around the world can be. And, it helped us engage with local culture more intimately than we had ever done before.
    13/16

    Remember: traveling with a baby opens your eyes

    Even when Easton was getting fussy at the Louvre, or completely losing it at a restaurant, somebody nearby would come over and sing to him, or just give us that gentle smile that says, “I know. It’s tough. But, you’re doing great.” Traveling with our baby opened our eyes to just how kind, patient, and understanding people around the world can be. And, it helped us engage with local culture more intimately than we had ever done before.
  • Easton experienced snow for the first time on the summit of a mountain deep in the Swiss Alps. He saw masterpieces by Picasso, Michelangelo, and da Vinci. He ate fondue and foie gras, and discovered that the soft inside of baguette could double as a reliable pacifier at a café. With each new experience, I felt a growing sense of gratitude toward both my wife and son for being my partners on this amazing journey.
    14/16

    Give thanks

    Easton experienced snow for the first time on the summit of a mountain deep in the Swiss Alps. He saw masterpieces by Picasso, Michelangelo, and da Vinci. He ate fondue and foie gras, and discovered that the soft inside of baguette could double as a reliable pacifier at a café. With each new experience, I felt a growing sense of gratitude toward both my wife and son for being my partners on this amazing journey.
  • Most of all, traveling with Easton showed me just how much joy this little person could bring to our lives, and the lives of all who he touched. When we returned home, and our travels dissolved into a collection of fond memories, what remained fierce and present, was an overwhelming love, born out of bonding with my son in the pursuit of adventure.
    15/16

    In the end

    Most of all, traveling with Easton showed me just how much joy this little person could bring to our lives, and the lives of all who he touched. When we returned home, and our travels dissolved into a collection of fond memories, what remained fierce and present, was an overwhelming love, born out of bonding with my son in the pursuit of adventure.
  • Adam Besserman is a proud husband and father living in Santa Monica, Calif.
    16/16

    Adam Besserman

    Adam Besserman is a proud husband and father living in Santa Monica, Calif.
There are countless reasons why this is a bad idea. Just ignore them Before even checking flights, the easiest thing of all is to talk yourself out of it. Had we made a pros and cons list in advance, I’m certain the cons would have dramatically outnumbered the pros. Babies provide enough daily surprises while we’re in the flow of our routines, within the comfort of our homes. And surely, that number of fear inducing “what ifs” is guaranteed to multiply when you’re in a strange land where you don’t speak the language, don’t know your way around, and can’t call anyone for help.
You’ll be fine.
Honestly, my biggest concern was over packing. Where there’s baby, there’s stuff. Lots and lots of stuff. And, all that stuff wasn’t coming with us. One bag too many would cripple us. Two people can only push two suitcases and a stroller, so it was vital that we fit everything into those two suitcases.
Easton’s room full of toys and books would be reduced to one small backpack, which he didn’t seem to mind. He ended up spending as much time playing with spoons, receipts, and bread as he did with his toys. For baby food and diapers, we packed only enough to get us through the flight. No reason to waste precious space on things we could buy more of when we got there.
The game changer was the car seat. Though we would be taking planes, trains, buses, and the occasional taxi, lugging a car seat around Europe would have tipped us over the edge. I carefully planned my case before delicately broaching the subject with my wife. Merely suggesting we carry our baby in a moving vehicle was met with a barrage of judgment against my fundamental ability to parent. It took some time while she deliberated on this, but Elana eventually agreed. Every day for those three weeks, we breathed a deep sigh of relief at leaving that car seat behind.
This was a family trip. So, we had to pace it more slowly than our former escapades. Six days in Lucerne is far more than enough time for such a quaint city, and it’s tempting to split that time elsewhere. However, packing up the room, boarding a train, and settling into a new destination is exhausting. Spending more time in fewer cities allowed us to enjoy a relaxed pace, without any pressure to cram our sight seeing into a few short days. And, even after those six days in Lucerne, I was still sad to leave.
Once we settled on this plan, the days effortlessly fell into place, and we grew blissfully at ease. There was no longer any pressure to reach for the overly ambitious activity. Some of the restaurants, theaters and museums would have to wait for another trip. And that’s perfectly fine, because sometimes just being in Paris together should be enough.
A couple days into the trip, we decided to arrange our days similar to how we would at home. This meant abandoning expectations of a big romantic getaway. It meant letting go of the nightlife. It meant lunches out, and dinners in. And, it meant scaling back on the number of sights we would see each day. But, it also meant enjoying more time in farmer’s markets, and crafting little romantic nights in around the unique ingredients we picked up.
After spending eight hours on three trains from the south of France to the Swiss Alps, you might arrive desperately in need of a frosty Alpine beer in a loud, local pub. You may also have only two diapers left in the reserve. If you find yourself in a situation like this, do yourself a favor, and go find that pub. A round of beers with your partner will remind you of those spirited adventures you used to take, and make you feel instantly young again. Yes, you’ll be that couple in a loud bar with a baby strapped to your chest. But, don’t worry about that. And, the two remaining diapers should get you through the night.
The next day, make it up to your baby by visiting a local park. This is one of those activities that can truly give you a taste of the local flavor. Time on the swings, and a romp in the sandbox helped remind us of just how similar parents are around the world. These little park visits were among of the highlights of our trip. They allowed us to connect with local parents, and experience a quality of neighborhood living that truly made us feel at home, despite being half way around the world.
We went into the trip expecting that everyone would hate us. On intercontinental planes, cross-country trains, in chic café’s, hushed museums, and swanky stores on Champs-Elysees, we would be those audacious Americans, disrespectfully towing a screaming baby, ruining everything for everyone. To my great delight, reality was quite different.
Easton was a magnet for positive energy. New friends emerged all around us, drawn in by the things that make babies so irresistible. Easton’s presence opened our eyes to the one beautiful, universal constant we failed to consider: regardless of our cultural differences, people everywhere possess a loving tenderness for the joy that babies provide.
Even when Easton was getting fussy at the Louvre, or completely losing it at a restaurant, somebody nearby would come over and sing to him, or just give us that gentle smile that says, “I know. It’s tough. But, you’re doing great.” Traveling with our baby opened our eyes to just how kind, patient, and understanding people around the world can be. And, it helped us engage with local culture more intimately than we had ever done before.
Easton experienced snow for the first time on the summit of a mountain deep in the Swiss Alps. He saw masterpieces by Picasso, Michelangelo, and da Vinci. He ate fondue and foie gras, and discovered that the soft inside of baguette could double as a reliable pacifier at a café. With each new experience, I felt a growing sense of gratitude toward both my wife and son for being my partners on this amazing journey.
Most of all, traveling with Easton showed me just how much joy this little person could bring to our lives, and the lives of all who he touched. When we returned home, and our travels dissolved into a collection of fond memories, what remained fierce and present, was an overwhelming love, born out of bonding with my son in the pursuit of adventure.
Adam Besserman is a proud husband and father living in Santa Monica, Calif.
Yahoo Travel

Nobody prepared me for what becoming a dad is really like.

I went into it with the humble expectation that I would be instantly overcome with profound love the moment I laid on eyes on my son Easton. Of course, I loved him. But, not in that mind-blowing way that the movies led me to believe. Those early months of fatherhood were unexpectedly isolating. I watched from the emotional sidelines as my wife’s heart exploded with love, while for me, it was a steady process of building a bond that would take time to develop.

During those first months, there was little I could do to prompt that rush. I tried everything; massages, books, songs, diapers, baths, and feedings. Yet, it was a family adventure — a three-week European trip through France and Switzerland — that finally lifted me over that emotional wall, and allowed me to fall deeply in love with my son. Somewhere across two countries, four cities, three flights, and five trains, something clicked. Travel was the catalyst that triggered all those sensations I expected to discover the day he was born.

The trip helped me appreciate how we so rarely leave the comfort of our nest, during that first year. Our babies experience something new every day, and yet as parents, we tend to frame new experiences through their eyes, instead of our own. Exploring new cities together really allowed Easton and I to align. And, for the first time in his life, both he and I were discovering the world together, as a team.

My wife and I had our doubts about taking the trip. Like all new parents, we quickly learned that babies thrive on routine. Yet, many of our most cherished memories were forged when we shattered our routines to do something spontaneous, exciting and new. So, even though our baby was just beginning to sleep through the night, we decided to sack the routine, and introduce Easton to the first important lesson he would ever learn: adventure is out there.

So, for all new parents interested in seeking out a little adventure for themselves, here are the top learnings I’d like to share, along with photos from our trip.

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