The 9 Most Ridiculous Things I've Learned About Prince Harry In His Memoir... Against My Will

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Prince Harry's memoir Spare comes out next week!

A flyer advertising the book in a store window
Leon Neal / Getty Images

And everyone online has been bombarded with wild (and completely unnecessary) details about his life.

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So, let's take a look at them! Because if I had to see them, then you do too!

1.Harry had a frostbitten penis at William and Kate's wedding.

Prince Harry and Kate's sister Pippa standing on the balcony of Buckingham Palace after the wedding

2.On that same note, Harry calls his penis a "todger."

In the book, Harry uses the word

3.And one more penis thing: We learned that Harry is circumcised.

Page Six reports that in the book, Harry says the general public was really invested in knowing whether or not he and William were circumcised. Harry thankfully (��‍��) confirmed,

4.Harry lost his virginity to an older woman behind a pub, and the woman treated him like a "young stallion."

He described his ~first time~ as  (via The Telegraph): “a(n) humiliating episode with an older woman who liked macho horses and who treated me like a young stallion.

5.Harry did mushrooms at Courteney Cox's house.

Courtney Cox at a red carpet event

6.William was really pissed that Harry had a beard for his own wedding. Facial hair is apparently a real point of contention between the two.

Prince Harry and Meghan waving to the crowd as they ride in a carriage after their wedding

7.Harry called William's hair loss "alarming."

Page Six says Will's baldness comes up throughout the book and Harry  describes it as

8.William and Kate are huge fan of Suits — like, they freaked out when they found out Harry was dating someone from the show.

A promo photo of the cast of Suits

9.And last but not least, Prince Harry calls William "Willy" and Prince William calls Harry "Harold," even though his name is Henry.