Most people don't realize how important #4 is.
Wilde sees infighting among families when "each person thinks they know what [the deceased] wanted, and each has different opinion. Funeral directors become Jerry Springer when there hasn't been any planning for this moment."
"If we haven't talked about it and dad hasn't said, 'I don't want a religious service, just have a party for me,' there's a lot of room for interpretation," adds Wilde, "and it's often interpreted through our wants. For the family who wants an evangelical service, for example, all of a sudden they'll remember dad saying that's what he wanted."
Vince: As an Asian American, I don't veer left or right politically. I vote for the best candidate, the party that best identifies with my values and struggles. I certainly won't live my life based on any particular culture's opinions or views. As far as I am concerned, they can all stick a fork in it. Just let us live our lives free from intrusion or interference.