62 Extremely Specific Things That Screamed "Suburban Rich" 20 Years Ago That Are Just Kind Of Tacky Now
1.A refrigerator that looked like a cabinet and was usually a dark heavy wood:
Because what screams wealth more than a fridge that looks like a giant cabinet?
2.A trash drawer that was also a cabinet:
Is this a food drawer or is this where we throw our trash?
3.Overly ornate iron handrails:
A McMansion staple.
4.A Golden Retriever:
The bougie suburban dog breed.
5.Kudos:
The "healthy" candy bar.
6.A very thick TV (which were also blurry AF unless you sat in the exact right spot):
Probably the most "rich friend" thing on this list.
7.A large wooden playhouse:
I still want one of these and I'm pushing 40.
8.A *WORKING* air hockey table:
Anyone could own an air hockey table, but only the 1% had an actual working one.
9.Any sort of surround sound system, something that usually looked like this:
This also came with like three remotes.
10.A TiVo (before you even heard of DVRs):
It was basically magic
11.A purse that had your first initial on it:
These screamed Mean Girls.
12.A "mudroom" with some sort of cabinet or built-in that looked like this:
Anyone with a mudroom was the 1%.
13.Decorative herb-infused olive oil bottles cluttered on a window sill:
Probably from an Italian vacation they went on the year before.
14.A zip line:
Extremely dangerous and a huge liability, but if you had a zip line you could definitely afford the legal fees.
15.A tub like this in the parents' en suite:
Anyone who had an en suite period was/is living the dream.
16.A trampoline:
Everyone from the neighborhood wanted to jump on it. Everyone from the neighbor got injured falling off it.
17.A subscription to Nickelodeon magazine:
"Nickelodeon Magazine, PLEASE."
18.A large collection of chunky VHS tapes:
What a beautiful, gorgeous stack of plastic.
19.A model-train room:
Because who else could afford the space for an entire room dedicated to a toy train?
20.A Princess Diana Beanie Baby:
A million-dollar investment.
21.Beverages in glass bottles:
Anything in glass bottles screams rich.
22.A pile of Uggs at the door:
Nothing says "rich friend group" like a pile of Uggs at the door.
23.A very large SUV:
It's basically a monster truck.
24.A car with a TV on the back of the seat:
Before phones, there were car TVs.
25.A giant teddy bear:
Tacky...but definitely a symbol of wealth.
26.An assortment of food you would only find at a baseball concession stand:
Choco Tacos, Chipwiches, and Big League Chew.
27.A fountain or bird path:
Bonus points if it actually worked.
28.A framed portrait of their dog that they clearly had a photo shoot for:
Bonus points if the portrait was over the fireplace.
29.A painting of their dog:
Bonus points if the dog looked like an old British man.
30.A camcorder with one of those separate video screens:
Because they always *needed* the latest model.
31.Individually wrapped bags of chips:
Basically an IRL vending machine.
32.Fancy sodas you've never even heard of before:
Blue, green, and orange colors with very American sounding names like "Jones" and "Smith."
33.Multiple American Girl dolls:
The Rolls-Royce of dolls.
34.A bunch of old Playmobil figures and play sets that hadn't been played with in years:
Fancy Euro toys!
35.A DDR set:
Your rich friend basically had a mall inside their house.
36.Glass art vases — that were sorta tacky:
37.A piano room:
No one ever actually went in the piano room because no one actually played the piano.
38.A bottle of J.Lo's Glow perfume:
That bottle belongs in the Louvre.
39.A pool that looked like it was a river:
'Cause nothing said fancy pool like rocks and a waterfall!
40.A second refrigerator in the garage or basement just for beverages:
Filled with glass Snapples and Diet Pepsi probably.
41.One of those see-through iMacs:
They were just so chic!
42.A series of professionally taken photos of the entire family that lined the hallway:
In matching outfits, of course!
43.An iPod dock built into the wall and would connect with the surround sound:
It was so futuristic!
44.A Coach wristlet:
Obligatory if you were popular.
45.A new Jetta on their 16th birthday:
The rich kid car of the early 2000s.
46.A finished basement:
Bonus points if there was a bar.
47.A pinball machine (that nobody used):
It was usually in the finished basement.
48.Old-timey popcorn machine:
Usually in the finished basement.
49.A bathroom that looked like this:
It just had that rich feel.
50.Some sort of laser tag set:
51.A giant piano:
I never knew anyone who actually owned one of these. This was millionaire type shit.
52.Mentadent:
Rich people toothpaste.
53.A Talkboy:
They had every "hot" Christmas toy, TBH.
54.King-size candy bars on Halloween:
You knew they were rich if they gave out full-size candy bars on Halloween.
55.Anything from the Sharper Image store:
A store full of useless shit that you wanted because it seemed "futuristic."
56.Air purifiers in every bedroom:
Filtered air was a must.
57.A treadmill or elliptical:
And they never even used it.
58.Toaster Strudel:
I mean Gretchen Wieners' father invented them.
59.Yogurt you put candy in:
Because I'm pretty sure only your rich friend bought this stuff.
60.A massage chair:
God, can you imagine owning one of these? The dream!
61.A large gumball machine:
Because rich people could afford cavities.
62.And lastly, a robotic animal:
No one actually owned one of these even though we include it in every BuzzFeed list.
