50 Quotes From "Community" That Solidify This Series As A Classic
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Dan Harmon's classic sitcom is filled with moments that are so well-written, it's hard to believe the show was almost canceled.
With so many hilarious, heated, and heartwarming quotes, it was a challenge to narrow them down to just 50. But here I am with the list for the Top 50 Best Quotes from Community.
WARNING: 🚨SPOILERS🚨 AND INAPPROPRIATE CONTENT AHEAD!
50.Abed: "It's like a mafia movie!" / Voiceover: "As far back as I could remember, I always wanted to be in a mafia movie."
This was the moment Community really started to deconstruct multiple cinematic and television tropes. When the study group decides to pull off a scheme to get more chicken fingers at lunch, Abed presents it all as a mafia movie in the vein of Goodfellas. Only Dan Harmon and his team could make a hilarious mafia story out of something like this, and their creative style is what makes Community unlike any other sitcom today.
49.Troy: "City College is trying to destroy Greendale, and they're an unstoppable 'jugglenaut.'"
Who taught Troy English in high school? Michael Scott?
48.Shirley: "Oh, they've got a class on jokes! / Annie: Oh, don't take that! I dropped it after the lesson on setups. The professor is so old…"
Yes, go on.
47.Abed: "TV's rules aren't based on common sense. They're based on the studio wanting to milk their profits dry."
This also applies to movies as well. Just look at all those slasher movies.
46.Shirley: "I haven't felt that chemistry coming my way. I don't know if it's because you're racist or because I intimidate you sexually, but I know it's one of those two."
Oh, Shirley.
45.Abed: "We'll definitely be back next year. If not, it'll be because an asteroid has destroyed all of human civilization. And that's canon."
So, Abed just threatened to destroy the Earth if he doesn't get a sixth season.
44.Troy: "She was born in the '80s. She still uses her phone as a phone!"
NBC / Via Imgur
Oh, I remember those days.
43.Jeff: "You're wearing protective goggles to destroy my car?!" Chang: "Safety first!"
The last lesson from "Señor Chang."
42.Shirley: "Abed, have you been racist this whole time while I'm telling everybody at church what a sweet little caramel angel you are?"
Ignorance takes on many forms.
41.Jeff: "People die every day, and by the time I finish this sentence, a hundred people will have died in China." / Troy: "Why…did you stop talking?!"
I'd just like to point out that Troy was reading his textbook upside down in this scene.
40.Evil Abed: "Do you know what kind of person becomes a psychologist? A person that wishes deep down that everyone more special than them was sick because healthy sounds so much more exciting than boring. You're average Britta Perry. You're every kid on the playground who didn't get picked on. You're a business casual potted plant, a human white sale. You're VH1 Robocop 2 and Back to the Future 3. You're the center slice of a square cheese pizza. Actually, that sounds delicious. I'm the center slice of a square cheese pizza. You're Jim Belushi."
When Britta decides to have a therapy session with Abed after Troy moves out, the latter regresses into "Evil Abed" and decides to unleash the Darkest Timeline on his world. Evil Abed turns the tables on Britta by examining her mind and bringing out her innermost secrets. And with this monologue, he straight-up Hannibal Lecter's Britta's entire being. The writers also found a way to rip on Jim Belushi, again.
39.Shirley: "Mother Hen? I think we're about the same age." / Britta: "Sure, unless time is linear." / Shirley: "I'll make your ass linear!" / Britta: "That doesn't make any sense." / Shirley: "I'll make your ass sense!"
Oh boy!
38.Ian Duncan: "True. All life ends in death, which we, as a species, are cursed with knowing. Resulting in…something. Again, this is really not my field."
Before John Oliver became a talk show host, he had humble beginnings as an alcoholic psychology professor teaching anthropology. See if you can figure that one out.
37.Troy: "I have a gift! I'm special! I'm not a loser like you! I'm gonna eat space paninis with Black Hitler and there's nothing you can do about it!"
I'm just gonna let this one sink in for a moment.
36.Elroy: "Now...this is a man…who knows how to marry his cousin!"
This is a man who knows how to read a room!
35.Narrator: "The sensitive high school quarterback who became commander and chief of his own army. He would say of the war, 'It was awesome, but also, it wasn't?'"
Words that will echo throughout history. Someone should make a statue of Troy and put that line on a plaque.
34.Britta: "I lived in New York, Troy. I know what a 'baggle' is."
What part of New York did she live in, exactly?
33.Troy: "We are forty light years outside of the Buttermilk Nebula. Although, it is possible…yeah, it's a sticker."
You have to wonder if Rick and Morty ever visited that part of space.
32.Chang: "I AM A SPANISH GENIUS! In Español, my nickname is 'EL TIGRE CHINO!'"
What a way to introduce your character. Actor Ken Jeong dominated his first scene on the show with this unforgettable greeting that got everyone's attention. Too bad we didn't get much of "Señor Chang" after Season 1.
31.Garrett: "ASS...CRACK...BANDIIIIIIITTT!"
This name strikes fear into everyone at Greendale, and Garrett effectively summons this fear with this hilariously high-pitched scream.
30.Annie: "You listen up, Pierce! I'm gonna tell you what my mother told me when I wanted to quit cheerleading. 'You're not very pretty, you have no boobs, and you can't do a basket toss to save your life.' But you made a commitment. So pick up your pompoms, Pierce, stuff your bra, and get ready for the team bus to forget you at a Taco Bell, because life is tough. But we soldier on, and that's just the way it goes."
Annie would've made a pretty good life coach. After everything she had to endure in her life, she always maintains a positive attitude and pushes through the pain. And this motivational speech is the right blend of humor and uplifting seriousness that makes her character so beloved.
29.Troy: "Which would make me ten, because everyone is ten for two years. Because fifth grade is really hard for everyone…Mom! How many lies have I been living?"
NBC / Via Giphy
Poor Troy.
28.Troy: "I AM THE TRUEST REPAIRMAN!"
Only Troy could utter this hilarious line with such straight-faced confidence. Savior of humanity, right here.
27.Pierce: "Can't hear you over the sound of me rubbing his sword on my balls." / Abed: (rolls dice) "You have...successfully rubbed your balls on the sword."
Whenever Community does Dungeons and Dragons, it's a wonderfully hysterical adventure to behold. But when Pierce the Insensitive (a.k.a. Pierce the Dickish and Grandpa the Flatulent) joins the game, the study group plays a fierce game of life and death. This unforgiving farter goes to great lengths to prove himself, and he has no shame in how he pretends to brag.
26.Troy: "60 dollars?! Hello? Rich people, Troy's joining you, Yes, I'll hold."
NBC / Via Giphy
Well, Troy ended up becoming Childish Gambino, so apparently, that brick worked.
25.Britta: "Who is the lucky brunette?" / Jeff: "Last name: Beeswax. First name: Nunya." / Pierce: "Oh, my third wife was biracial!"
No matter how hard he tries, Pierce always finds a way to be racist.
24.Jeff: "Hey, Troy sneezes like a girl!" / Troy: "And how about I pound you like a boy?! That didn't come out right."
With this scene from Season 1, we all knew that Troy was born with his foot in his mouth.
23.Abed: "The night beckons. Its black fingers curl and uncurl going like, 'Hey, come here.'"
Abed should clearly be the next Batman. Eat your heart out, Robert Pattinson.
22.Abed: "It's okay to plan some stuff, and it's okay to figure out what we did wrong. But our plans are randomly gonna fall apart and our lessons are randomly gonna be wrong, and if we just keep the cameras rolling and shoot a lot of crap, eventually… Annie is going to reach down her shirt and pull out a laser bomb."
We could all learn something by applying TV and film to real life.
21.Troy: "You can yell at me all you want! I've seen enough movies to know that popping the back of a raft makes it go faster!"
What exactly was the story behind this one?
20.Troy: "You are human tennis elbow! You are a pizza burn on the roof of the world's mouth! You are the opposite of Batman!"
NBC / Via Reaction GIFs
Harsh words.
19.Troy: "You're the AT&T of people."
NBC / Via Giphy
Troy Barnes just has the best burns.
18.Shirley: "Leonard, you better back that pumpkin ass up or I will make a pie!"
Shirley may often be a sweet woman, but there is a beast within her you do NOT want to awaken.
17.Troy: "He's shooting lightning and I'm naked!"
Imagine if Luke said that in Return of the Jedi.
16.Dean: "What's Dean got to do with it? Why it's time to Tina TURNER the clocks ahead. Happy daylight savings!"
NBC / Via Giphy
The Dean always has a crazy excuse to dress up.
15.Troy: "It's not a request. I'm giving you an 'all tomato.' Meaning you give me the whole tomato or else."
Oh dang.
14.Troy: "Way to hog all the girls, Jeff! You know, when there are three sprinkled donuts, you don't eat one and then lick another!"
Okay, wow.
13.Abed: "It's the first season of Lost on DVD." / Pierce: "That's the meaning of Christmas?" / Abed: "No, it's a metaphor. It represents a lack of payoff."
This has to be one of the greatest burns Community has ever made.
12.Dean Pelton: "Ha! Ha, ha, ha, ha! GAY MARRIAGE!"
NBC / Via Tenor
I don't think we need any context for this one.
11.Troy: "Uh…guys? What does a pregnancy test look like?" / Jeff: "Uh, it's like a thin piece of plastic with a thing on the end of it." / Troy: "Okay, so then this is definitely a gun!"
Who the heck was Troy's sex-ed teacher if he had to ask that there?
10.Troy: "I saw Abed's name in the hospital school files. I love butt stuff, I hate spiders, I stole a pen from the bank, I cried during About a Boy… the soundtrack. I don't wash my hands before surgery. I can see why women find Clive Owen attractive to the point where I might just as well be attracted to him. I use comparisons to Hitler to win arguments on the Internet at the drop of a hat. I know nothing about wine. I'm more turned on by women in pajamas than lingerie. I just want to know they feel comfortable. I didn't get Inception. I didn't get Inception!"
This proves that Abed knows his buddy all too well. When Annie enters a simulation created by Abed, she fake injects fake Troy with fake truth serum, and the secrets come flooding out in hilarious fashion. All these truths are so random and funny, you have to wonder if the writers came up with them or if Donald Glover came up with them on the spot.
9.Vice Dean Laybourne: "You could have lived the rest of your life in blissful ignorance and died a happy pansexual imp, but you wanted to feel power this year. Well, now you're going to feel my power as it surges downward from me straight through you from nostril to rectum now until the end of time…and that's… wassup."
The reverb in John Goodman's voice is both chilling and hilarious in this scene. You do NOT wanna mess with this guy.
8.Abed: "Oh, I'm a cat! I'm a sexy cat!"
NBC / Via Giphy
Seriously, how did Danny Pudi not win an Emmy for this scene?! During the second episode of Season 5, Abed binge-watches a bunch of Nicholas Cage movies for his class to determine if he's a good or bad actor. In the end, Abed loses his mind and goes full Cage in this unforgettably funny scene.
7.Jeff: "None of us have to go to anyone and the idea we do is a mental illness we contracted from breath mint commercials and Sandra Bullock. We can't keep going to each other until we learn to go to ourselves. Stop making our hatred of ourselves someone else's job and just stop hating ourselves."
Community has often dealt with issues of mental health, and this quote sums up the self-destructive result of self-loathing. For an entire episode, Britta feels compelled to run back to her terrible ex-boyfriend, and it is only after Jeff meets the guy that they both learn the truth. We should be able to see ourselves with much kinder eyes, and we shouldn't let others treat us badly and feel we deserve it.
6.Troy: "I don't know what to do! My whole brain is crying!"
NBC / Via Giphy
Troy just has the best breakdowns. When he and Abed try to get info from one of Jeff's old colleagues, a janitor catches them in the act. After a brief moment, Annie comes in and chloroforms the guy, and everyone freaks out (even Abed) in the best possible way. Troy leaping over the guy as he starts to cry makes this moment even more perfect.
5.Abed: "Britta, I've got self-esteem falling out of my butt. That's why I was willing to change for you guys. When you really know who you are and what you like about yourself, changing for other people isn't such a big deal."
This line is what cemented Abed as the God of Community. With this profound monologue, Abed taught us that you should love and accept yourself for who you are and that doing so will make your life a whole lot easier.
4.Jeff: "Harrison Ford is radiating our testicles with microwave satellite transmissions!"
And this was supposed to be part one of Jeff's classic Winger Speeches. As the show flashes to all of Jeff's speeches over the course of their second year, they all range from ridiculous to flat-out bizarre. You have to wonder how the study group ended up in a psychiatric hospital, and how Jeff came up with this mind-boggling conspiracy theory.
3.Abed: "Chaos already dominates enough of our lives. The universe is an endless raging sea of randomness. Our job isn't to fight it, but to weather it together, on the raft of life."
When the study group rolls a dice to decide who goes to grab their pizza, we see all the different timelines based on how the dice lands. After seeing timelines ranging from hopeful, sad, or just plain dark, Abed instead catches the dice and delivers this unforgettable speech. Community has always been about confronting the overwhelming craziness of life, and this line perfectly encapsulates the show's philosophy.
2.Troy and Abed: "Troy and Abed in the morning!"
NBC / Via Imgur
This running gag marks the height of Troy and Abed's friendship. In a few credits scenes, we see the two of them hosting their own morning talk show with no cameras, and fans just love it. Whenever you hear the duo utter this iconic line, you can't help but wish you had a pure friendship like theirs. However, you have to wonder how they got all those people to hang signs in the background.
1.Abed: "Six seasons and a movie!"
NBC / Via Imgur
Somehow, this seemingly throwaway line became the chant for all the fans who fought to keep Community alive. After Abed swipes Jeff's lunch tray off the table with his cape (due to his new obsession with The Cape), he utters this immortal line when the latter says the show will be canceled, eventually becoming #sixseasonsandamovie. Community has lasted far longer than The Cape, and we're eternally grateful we got six seasons of the Greendale study group.
