5 Essential BDSM Toys For Beginners

·4 min read

So, you’ve decided you want to dip your toe into the world of BDSM. First of all: Congratulations. BDSM has gotten a pretty skewed rep due to bad media portrayals (please, for the love of your vagina, retire your copy of Fifty Shades) and pervading taboos that linger around the sexual unknown. BDSM isn’t just fetish gear and handcuffs (although it totally can be that if you want!). It’s actually a really great way to learn more about what your sexual preferences are. By creating a finite set of rules and restrictions, you can empower yourself to sexually explore and push your limits in a safe space (using the traffic-light safe words of red and yellow makes this even easier). This, combined with the introduction of brand-new sensations makes it really easy to learn more about your own body and sexual preferences. It’s a great tool for learning more about what makes you tick, and we highly recommend even a small foray into the BDSM world to anyone who wants to get to know themselves better.

So how exactly do you get started? If you have browsed through the plethora of BDSM sex toys and accessories and gotten immediately overwhelmed by the endless sea of implements and literal torture devices, don’t worry. We’ve broken down the five essential kink tenets — bondage, discipline, dominance, submission, and sadomasochism — along with aftercare and picked out the best BDSM toy for beginners. This way you can experiment without fear and figure out if any (or all of it!) works for you. So whether you’re interested in trying out spanking, orgasm denial, overstimulation, temperature play, or something else entirely, these five beginner BDSM sex toys are a great way to get started.

Bondage: Lovehoney Bondage Tape, $8.99

Bondage is where BDSM really begins, so we recommend stocking up on this basic to get started. If you’re not quite ready to invest in a pair of leather cuffs, bondage tape is a much lower price (but still totally effective) alternative. Made from durable PVC, this bondage tape only sticks to itself, so it’s just as safe to use on a bed frame as it is on your bare skin. Plus, it’s such a minimal investment, that if it turns out bondage is not for you, it’s no big loss.

Discipline: Stupid Cute Flogger, $79

When it comes to discipline and sadomasochism, no one does it better than The Stockroom. The award-winning kink retailer has been providing the BDSM community with quality gear since the late ’80s. If you’re experimenting with punishment for the first time, we highly recommend grabbing a high-quality leather toy, such as this flogger. Though there are less-expensive options available elsewhere, leather is much more gentle than its synthetic counterpart, which means you can warm up slowly (without the risk of hurting yourself!) to find the right level for your tolerance. Once you’re ready you can level up to crops, paddles, and whips, The Stockroom has it all.

Dominance & Submission: Bondage Boutique Black Rose Faux Fur Lined Blindfold, $9.99

Sensory deprivation is a great way to experience sex in a new way. If you want to explore submitting yourself to someone else’s whims, getting rid of your eyesight and handing over the reins is a great way to do that. Plus, without vision, your other senses (mainly touch) are wildly enhanced. Though you could use a tie or scarf, in our experience, they don’t really block sight as much as we’d like (plus, they have a habit of slipping down your face). This blindfold from Lovehoney stays secure, even through some wild play sessions, plus it’s fur-lined for ultimate soft comfort against your skin.

Sadomasochism: We-Vibe Sync, $119

If orgasm control and denial is a kink you want to explore, look no further than the We-Vibe Sync. This remote-control dual-stimulating vibrator can be operated via phone app, meaning someone else can control the vibrations no matter where in the world you (or they!) are and make you come again and again and again…or ask you not to at all.

Aftercare: Maude Burn Massage Candle, $30

The one thing that cannot be overlooked in beginning your BDSM journey is the importance of aftercare. It’s not unusual for emotions to be heightened or for things to become intense and overwhelming during your playtime, so it’s essential to have a soothing and comforting routine to transition back to real life with. We’re currently obsessed with this massage oil candle from Maude. Just released in a brand-new musky scent, this easy-to-use oil develops just minutes after lighting the candle. A massage is a perfect way to come back down to earth after an intense sexual experience. Plus, it’s a great way to reconnect and discuss what you enjoyed and didn’t enjoy, so you know what works for the next time or just quietly decompress.

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