55 Turkey Jokes Dad Has Definitely Said at the Thanksgiving Table

·5 min read

We've all sat through at least one incredibly tense or awkward family Thanksgiving dinner when even asking for Uncle Gary to pass the gravy feels like a stretch. That's where light and funny Thanksgiving jokes come in to break the ice and pass the time until the pumpkin pie is served. From corny Thanksgiving puns to festive autumn jokes, these Thanksgiving one-liners are perfect for every age and sense of humor.

Whether you are looking for ways to avoid awkward silences at the dinner table, or an easy activity to entertain your guests while you check the turkey, Thanksgiving jokes can be a great solution to both. There are kid-friendly jokes about food as well as turkey riddles that will have. children and adults alike racing to find answer. You can also write out all or some of these jokes onto pieces of paper and place them in a bowl that everyone can pass around and read aloud at the Thanksgiving table.

Thanksgiving is a time to take note of what we are grateful for and give thanks. Meaningful Thanksgiving quotes are certainly one way to get everyone in the spirit of reflection. But tossing a Thanksgiving joke or two into the mix can have the whole party cracking up and remembering what they are most thankful for: A caring and hilarious family.

Thanksgiving Jokes About Turkey

Photo credit: Woman's Day
Photo credit: Woman's Day
  • What does a turkey eat for dessert? Peach Gobbler.

  • When should you serve tofurkey? On Pranksgiving.

  • How do you tell the difference between turkeys and chickens? Chickens celebrate Thanksgiving.

  • What did the turkey say to the hunter on Thanksgiving? "Quack."

  • It's already Thanksgiving again, because time flies — even if turkeys don't.

  • The only ones more stuffed than us on Thanksgiving are the turkeys.

  • Why wasn't the turkey hungry on Thanksgiving? It was already stuffed.

  • What's a turkey without feathers called? Thanksgiving dinner.

  • What's it called when a turkey goes for a run? Fast food.

  • How does a limping turkey walk? It wobble, wobbles.

  • What do Thanksgiving turkeys become after they die? Poultrygeists.

  • Why did the turkey go to the plastic surgeon right before Thanksgiving? To get a breast reduction.

  • What kind of key has legs but can't open doors? A turkey.

  • What dance should everyone do on Thanksgiving? The turkey trot.

Corny Thanksgiving Dad Jokes

Photo credit: Woman's Day
Photo credit: Woman's Day
  • What can never be eaten for Thanksgiving dinner? Thanksgiving breakfast.

  • Why did the turkey cross the road twice? To prove it wasn't chicken.

  • Why did the farmer steamroll his potato field? He wanted mashed potatoes.

  • What do selfish people call Thanksgiving? Thankstaking.

  • My family told me to stop telling Thanksgiving jokes, but I told them I couldn't just quit "cold turkey."

  • What kind of music did the Pilgrims like? Plymouth Rock.

  • Why did the pilgrims' pants always fall? Because the pilgrims used to wear their buckles on their hats.

  • What face do pilgrims make when they are in pain? Pil-grim face.

  • What dish makes the worst jokes at a Thanksgiving dinner? The corny bread.

  • Can a turkey jump higher than the Empire State Building? Of course! Buildings can't jump.

  • What did the turkey say to the computer? "Google, google, google!"

Dirty Thanksgiving Jokes for Adults

Photo credit: Woman's Day
Photo credit: Woman's Day
  • What made the cranberries go red? Seeing the turkey dressing.

  • I accidentally sat on the sweet potatoes, so now I'm serving squash.

  • If things go wrong with Thanksgiving dinner, don't lose your head. The turkey already did that for you.

  • What glass do turkeys drink wine from? Gobblets.

  • What does every mom want to make on Thanksgiving? Dinner reservations.

  • When does Christmas come before Thanksgiving? When you're looking at a dictionary.

  • What does Miley Cyrus eat for Thanksgiving? Twerk-ey!

  • My husband doesn't think housework is a full-time job. So for Thanksgiving, I served him a raw turkey because revenge is a dish best served cold.

  • What does a pumpkin like to read? Pulp fiction.

  • What time do families sit down to Thanksgiving dinner? Halftime.

  • What is the best song to play while preparing Thanksgiving dinner? "All About That Baste."

  • Why do turkeys only star in R-rated movies? Because they use fowl language!

Funny Thanksgiving Jokes for Kids

Photo credit: Woman's Day
Photo credit: Woman's Day
  • Be nice to your cranberry sauce or it'll turn into blueberry sauce.

  • What’s the difference between a cranberry farmer and a pirate? Pirates bury their treasure and cranberry farmers treasure their berries.

  • What do you wear to Thanksgiving dinner? A har-vest.

  • What's the best thing to put into a pumpkin pie? Your teeth!

  • Mom: "Time to fix Thanksgiving dinner." Kids: "Why, is it broken?"

  • Why did the policeman crash Thanksgiving dinner? To stop people from going over the feed limit.

  • What comes at the end of Thanksgiving dinner? The letter "R."

  • What did the pilgrims use to bake their Thanksgiving desserts? May-flour.

  • Why didn't the Thanksgiving band get to perform? Someone ate the drumsticks.

  • What does a vampire call Thanksgiving? Fangs-giving.

  • If pilgrims travel on the Mayflower, what do college students travel on? Scholar ships.

  • What do you get if you divide the circumference of a pumpkin by its diameter? Pumpkin Pi.

Thanksgiving Knock-Knock Jokes

Photo credit: Woman's Day
Photo credit: Woman's Day
  • Knock, knock! Who's there? Arthur. Arthur who? Arthur any Thanksgiving leftovers?

  • Knock, knock! Who's there? Dishes! Dishes who? Dishes a very bad Thanksgiving joke!

  • Knock, knock! Who's there? Butter. Butter who? Butter open up quick, I have a funny Thanksgiving joke to tell you!

  • Knock, knock! Who's there? Handsome. Handsome who? Handsome gravy to me, please.

  • Knock, knock! Who's there? Olive. Olive who? Olive the stuffing, too!

  • Knock, knock. Who's there? Aida. Aida who? Aida lot more than I should have!

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