4 signs your marriage is heading towards divorce, according to a relationship therapist

·3 min read
Bill and Melinda Gates
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Bill and Melinda Gates announced they are filing for divorce, ending their 27 year marriage via Twitter on May 3. Melinda Gates said the marriage was "irretrievably broken" in their divorce filings. 

Imani Wilform, a therapist at Empower Your Mind Therapy, told Insider divorce is the last option for many people, but if the relationship feels irreparable after numerous attempts to fix it, it might be time to call it quits.

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"After attempting everything possible to get back to a healthy and loving space, if there is a lack of intimacy (either emotional or sexual) and a complete lack of vulnerability from both sides, the door sadly begins to close," Wilform told Insider. 

Here are warning signs to look out for if you're considering divorce. 

You aren't intimate with them anymore 

It's completely normal for a couple's sex life to wax and wane over the span of their marriage, Insider previously reported. However, if it dies completely, Wilform said this could be a sign the relationship is on the decline.

If there is no more intimacy between you and your spouse, it could point to underlying problems such as a lack of interest in your partner, a lack of trust, or disdain. 

You've lost trust in your partner and can't rebuild it 

Trust is the foundation of a strong relationship, so if you find yourself doubting your partner and suspecting them of lying, this should be cause for concern.

Wilform said if you find yourself unable to trust your partner even after trying to re-build the connection, signs could be pointing towards a divorce - especially if you've caught your partner cheating or lying in another way, according to Wilform. 

"[You should be worried] if you find yourself losing trust in what the other person says, such as who they're talking to or who they might be going to see," Wilform told Insider. "Especially if you have caught them being dishonest."

You've stopped arguing and trying to work through problems 

While excessive fighting could be a major sign it's time for divorce, no fighting at all could also be cause for concern, according to Wilform.

Wilform said once you and your partner stop trying to work through your issues together and instead become apathetic, it indicates a lack of investment in the relationship. 

"A complete lack of communication or disinterest in working out conflict [is a bad sign]," Wilform told Insider. 

You don't consider your partner within your list of priorities 

Life as a married adult can come with a plethora of responsibilities, from kids to bills to work. If your spouse isn't on your list of priorities, the marriage isn't either, Wilform says.

She said, if "you find yourself always thinking about 'I' and not about 'we,'" this is a good indication your spouse doesn't hold a place of importance in your everyday life.  

Read the original article on Insider