35 Secrets And Stories From People Who've Worked In The Wedding Industry
Recently, we asked wedding industry professionals in the BuzzFeed Community to share their ✨secrets and stories✨ from on the job. Here are some of the best submissions!
VH1 / giphy.com
1."I used to be a wedding planner, and one of the biggest mistakes couples made was to have a friend or family member officiate their wedding."
"They always think it'll save them money and it's someone who knows them, so it'll be great. NOPE! There are so many things that can go wrong legally: They forget to tell you to get a marriage license, they mess up the marriage license, or they forget to mail it in and now you're not married! They copy and paste a generic online ceremony. They can read your ceremony in four minutes or 90 minutes, and sometimes, they're drunk!"
—Anonymous
2."Wedding videographer here. For weddings, I usually clip a small mic to the groom's lapel with a small transmitter inside his jacket pocket. This is meant to capture the vows clearly for the video."
"I have a wireless receiver on my main camera that captures the audio from that mic. Well, these transmitters have gotten very small, and most people forget about them in their pocket. I usually get them set up about 20 minutes before the ceremony, and oftentimes, they run out of the ceremony and into the limo before I can retrieve the transmitter. Well, I have caught some extremely juicy words when they've forgotten that they're wearing a recording device. From grooms telling the best man that he 'plowed his ex one last time before coming to the church,' to conversations in the limo where the couple dropped some choice words about a few of their guests. The worst I ever recorded was a groom saying, 'Well, we'll be married now, so I probably should tell her that she most likely has HIV because of me!' That was literally 30 seconds before the precession music started playing."
—Anonymous
3."Nobody gives a shit about your five-tiered wedding cake. It may look good, but it's typically dry and terrible."
"The biggest tip I tell couples is to get a smaller one- or two-tiered cake for your 'cutting,' and then get sheets cakes from Costco for your guests. The sheet cakes always get rave reviews, and no one knows any different!"
—Anonymous
4."I currently work as a bridal stylist. One thing I can tell you, and it shouldn't be a secret, do NOT, I repeat, do NOT order your dress online, especially from an unverified site."
"I've met so many brides that ordered what they thought was their dream dress online only to find that the dress they got was nothing like the picture. They then come and see me to find a real dress and have to spend more money. Sites that offer you an opulent mermaid style dress for only $100–$300 are LYING. They use pictures from actual designers or dressmakers and put them on their site. Unless you're just purchasing a simple white dress, stay away from the internet. A wedding dress is a very detailed and constructed piece of clothing and it doesn't fit the way regular dresses do. Go into your local bridal shop and get the full dress-buying experience and try dresses on."
5."I'm a former jewelry consultant. As horrible as it is, you will be treated better if you look like you have money."
"Even if you don't have a big budget, dress up. You'll get a salesperson right away and won't have to wait. If you already have and wear jewelry? Wear it. I watched many of my coworkers line up to watch what type of car pulled up to call 'Dibs' on the customer based on perceived wealth."
—Anonymous
6."Don't be shocked if a dress that fits you is a bigger size than what you usually wear. Wedding dresses are heavily constructed and don't have a lot of stretch in them."
Regency Enterprises / giphy.com
7."Do not, I repeat, do NOT think that vendor ETAs are padded. Supply chain and shipping issues are still happening. If you procrastinated or lied about your date, do not blame the vendor."
CBS / giphy.com
8."My mom and I used to work as alterations specialists at a popular bridal dress shop, and what's surprising is that there aren't as many bridezillas as you'd expect. We dealt with more mother of the bridezillas."
"They usually go for crazy demands and ignore what their daughters want. My mom told me of a time when the mother wanted the neckline to be lower so her daughter would have more cleavage showing, while the daughter wanted the neckline higher. The daughter ended up getting what she wanted."
9."Look at historical or city-owned venues in your town. Chances are you will only have to pay a permit fee to rent it."
Hallmark Channel / giphy.com
10."Buy a lab diamond if the aesthetic of a natural diamond (like in the size and characteristics) you want are out of budget."
"They're chemically the same, no one can tell. I’m a jewelry consultant and I don't care which type of diamond you buy. I just want the sale."
—Anonymous
11."Accessories like headbands and sparkly belts? Same items you can find for under $5 on Wish or Alibaba. Stupid amount of markup on those items."
—Anonymous
NBC / giphy.com
12."Make sure you're showered when you're ready to try dresses on (I've got stories lol) and don't wear makeup if you can help it — it gets on the dresses."
Comedy Central / giphy.com
13."Don’t buy engagement rings or wedding bands with small marquise diamond accents. They always fall out since they're so hard to secure."
"HOWEVER, they're often some of the most expensive rings we sell, so we never say anything about that because the sale is more important to us."
—Anonymous
14."A videographer at a wedding I planned got paid off an extra $500 for deleting footage of the bride making out with the best man in a separate room. They're now married with kids, so it all worked out!"
—Anonymous
Switzerfilm / giphy.com
15."If your jewelry consultant avoids handing you certain rings you see in the case, it’s probably because there’s a long history of it needing constant repair work. If they strongly recommend a certain style, it’s because they know it’s well-made and classic."
—Anonymous
ABC / giphy.com
16."Don't bring a lot of people with you to try on. Sometimes a large entourage just creates chaos and confusion for the bride because some feel like they have to please people instead of finding something they actually like."
MTV / giphy.com
17."Before you buy a 'designer' dress for hundreds of dollars under the retail cost, check the designer’s verified seller list."
TLC / giphy.com
18."I used to be a wedding designer. I accepted a client four weeks prior to her wedding because she fired her previous designer. First red flag!"
"The most rewarding part of being a designer is hearing how magical the bride and groom's night was. Instead, when the team went to take down the decor, the bride yelled at me for 15 minutes about how one bulb in her backdrop went out and her wedding was ruined! I tried to explain to her that her backdrop consisted of 200 brand new lightbulbs, and that I was apologetic that one bulb went out. She continued to yell and demanded a refund on the full amount she'd paid for her backdrop. I ended up giving it to her just to avoid the awful reviews she threatened to write on all social media platforms regarding one lightbulb. Needless to say, some of the bridezillas make it feel like a thankless job!"
—Anonymous
Hallmark Channel / giphy.com
19."I work in wedding alterations. My number one piece of advice for any bride trying on gowns is to choose something that truly fits."
"Your stylist earns commission and is just trying to get you to buy one. So that dress that's two sizes too big that they’re trying to convince you to buy? It may never fit as well as a dress that was cut to fit from the very beginning."
—Anonymous
20."Catering manager here. We dealt with lots of rich people, but this was just obscene. We had this bride who was paying her bill in all cash. Bill was around $10K."
"She came in with a stack of cash that was easily $30K. She handed me the stack and looked bewildered when I started counting it. I hit $10K and still had 2/3 of the stack in my hand. The bride laughed and said 'Oh no, I must've grabbed the wrong pile from the safe!'"
—Anonymous
GQ / giphy.com
21."I once had a groom spend all morning at the pub before his wedding whilst his fiancé was getting ready."
"In the UK, the registrar can refuse to marry you if you’re drunk because marriage is a legal agreement and you can't be impaired when you agree to be married. He turned up, got told by the registrars that he was drunk and they wouldn’t marry him, and all hell broke loose. We ended up calling the police to get him out of the venue after he started punching through windows and walls. The poor bride was bawling her eyes out."
—Anonymous
22."I once had a bride want a number of large ferns, all matching in size and shape. Order arrived and the bride came in to approve them. She was horrified they were not exactly identical."
"I offered to trim them each to identical measurements, but no good. She wanted new ferns and would get them in two days. After she left, I rolled the baskets around the greenhouse floor so they all looked equally beat up. She returned two days later very excited to see the 'new' ferns I’d gotten her."
—Anonymous
Funny or Die / giphy.com
23."Inedible party favors are a waste of money."
24."Former wedding dress salesperson here. We did a lot of custom orders. If the shop can't mock up what you're hoping to have as your final dress easily on the spot, proceed with caution."
"I was told to suggest a new lining fabric to a lot of brides — a fabric that we only had a couple yards of, no actual garments made from it — and surprise! At least some of those brides were disappointed with what came in. My boss would have to rush order remakes of those dresses, then pin it on the salespeople for not managing expectations correctly even though she kept saying it was exactly like the old fabric."
—Anonymous
Nine Network / giphy.com
25."I can always tell when couples have been fighting just before meeting with them in an engagement ring appointment."
"Please reschedule and come when you're happy — it’s meant to be special and fun. I don’t get paid enough to play couples' psychologist while helping you pick your ring."
—Anonymous
CBS
26."I've had some of the couples I meet with end up having their parents email me to handle things like repairs, questions, diamond choices, etc. Like, YOU are getting married! Time to stop letting mommy do everything for you!!!"
—Anonymous
Pop / giphy.com
27."Bridal gown consultant here. We have a LOT of red flags!"
"Most of the red flags show up as soon as the appointment starts: If the bride can't tell me any details about her wedding, if the mother of the bride (or whatever older relative is there) doesn't say hello, or if the bride has no idea what she's expecting budget-wise, things aren't going to go great. I see way fewer bridezillas than momzillas. I've had MOBs call me fat, refuse to look me in the eye, make their daughters cry, and question everything. Ma'am, if the dress is $1,500, it's not going to be silk, it's not going to be hand-beaded, and it's going to need alterations, but it'll look the same quality as a $15,000 dress in photos! I've also had tons of appointments in which the bride never mentions her partner, even if I bring them up."
—Anonymous
TLC / giphy.com
28."I worked as a wedding planner for a resort. One time, a wedding was supposed to have 150 guests, and 250 showed up."
"The bride was upset because the ballroom didn’t have enough space for a dance floor...THERE WERE 100 EXTRA PEOPLE!!!!!!"
—Anonymous
New Line Cinema / giphy.com
29."I was a manager and buyer of a bridal boutique and like any clothing, the designers have a set manufacturer's suggested retail prince (MSRP) for a wedding dress, and we aren’t allowed to go below it."
"But after we buy a dress, we take the MSRP and add 10%–20% to it so when you’re buying the dress, we'll tell you we're giving you a phenomenal discount. But in reality, you’re just getting the dress at MSRP. So basically, buying a dress is like buying a car — you can get them to go down on the price, just not below what the designer set the price at."
—Anonymous
TLC
30."Don’t be rude to your jewelry consultant. We're the ones telling your partner which diamond is best to buy. If you're rude, I’ll send him a subpar one and that will be stuck on your finger, not mine!"
—Anonymous
Apatow Productions / giphy.com
31."Never go and try on dresses if you're not ready to purchase."
32."I work for a very well-known jewelry company and I sell engagement rings in person. I can tell when there’s chemistry between couples, and most of the time, there isn’t!"
"A lot of people really act like it’s a chore to be present...but I’m still going to sell that $20K ring to you regardless."
—Anonymous
Bounce / giphy.com
33."Don't just wander into a store expecting to try on dresses. Call the stores first to see if appointments are required."
34."I'm a wedding coordinator for my church. Usually I'm in contact with the couple, normally just the bride for a couple months before the ceremony. One time as I was going over things with the bride via email, the bride's mother started emailing me about what SHE wanted at the ceremony."
"What she wanted was VERY different than what the bride and I discussed. I finally told the bride what her mother was saying, and she told me not to have contact with her mother, so I said okay. I then received a nasty email from the momzilla saying that I was ruining her daughter's wedding, and if anything went wrong, it was going to be my fault! (BTW, the bride and her fiancé were paying for the wedding — NOT the mom!"
—Anonymous
Gifgari / giphy.com
35.And lastly: "We can pretty much always tell if you’re going to make it or not."
"You can feel that some people reach a point where they feel like they’ve come this far and they have to follow through...YOU DON’T! Don’t get married if you aren’t 100% sure because weddings are expensive, but a divorce can be so much more expensive."
—Anonymous
NBC / giphy.com
