Read These St. Patricks Day Jokes to Make You Laugh Like a Leprechaun

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The most eagerly awaited day to flaunt your St. Paddy's spirit is just around the corner! As shamrock shakes return and people don their best green getup, the quest for that elusive pot of gold becomes irresistible. Rooted in joy and camaraderie, St. Patrick's Day encourages lively celebrations filled with family fun! If you hope to be the heart of the festivities, keeping these hilarious St. Patrick's Day jokes handy is the perfect approach.

There are tons of ways to celebrate this magical holiday. Whether you plan to spend the day cooking traditional Irish dishes with family, mixing some St. Patrick's Day drinks, or making easy St. Patrick's Day crafts with your kids, you can make everyone laugh with these funny jokes. They're even funnier when you know the real history of St. Patrick's Day! In our list, we have you covered with dad jokes, knock-knock jokes, and Irish jokes. Plus, there are some St. Patrick's Day jokes, riddles, and puns that little leprechauns... er, the kids can get a kick out of. We even found the perfect one-liners for that necessary St. Patrick's day Instagram caption.

So, what are you waiting for?! Try these on your friends and family—just don't forget to practice your Irish accent first.

Funny St. Patrick's Day Jokes

chocolate labrador wearing funny glasses on saint patrick's day
Sue Zellers - Getty Images
  • What did the leprechaun put in the vending machine? A lepre-coin.

  • Why do people wear shamrocks on St. Patrick’s Day? Because real rocks are too heavy.

  • What do you get when you cross a pillowcase with a stone? A sham-rock.

  • What does the leprechaun order at a coffee shop? Green tea.

  • Do leprechauns make good secretaries? Sure, they're great at shorthand!

  • What did the leprechaun say when the video game ended? Game clover.

  • Who was St. Patrick’s favorite superhero? Green Lantern.

  • When does Valentine’s Day come after St. Patrick’s Day? In the dictionary.

  • What type of sandwiches should they serve on St. Patrick's Day? Paddy melts!

  • What do leprechauns put on their hamburgers? Paddys.

  • How does a leprechaun end a conversation? Irish you well!

  • Why did the leprechaun recycle his pot of gold? He wanted to go green!

  • Why did the leprechaun bring a ladder to the bar? Because he heard the drinks were on the house!

  • What's a leprechaun's favorite mode of transportation? A cloverboard!

  • Why do leprechauns make terrible comedians? Their jokes are always a wee bit short!

  • What dance move do leprechauns pull at a party? The shamrock shake.

  • Why did the leprechaun apply for a job as a chef? He wanted to make sure everything was Irish-stew-perb!

  • The paddy don’t start till I walk in.

  • What’s a leprechaun’s favorite dessert? A patty cake.

  • What do you get when two leprechauns have a conversation? A lot of small talk.

  • What do you call a leprechaun prank? A saint pat-trick.

  • What do you call a leprechaun’s vacation home? A lepre-condo.

  • How do leprechauns get to space? In a sham-rocket.

  • Why did the leprechaun put his pot of gold in the blender? He wanted to make some liquid assets.

  • What do you call a leprechaun who gets sent to jail? A lepre-con!

  • Why did the leprechaun go outside? To sit on his paddy-o.

  • What is a leprechaun’s favorite type of music? Sham-rock ‘n’ roll.

  • What do leprechaun ghosts drink on St. Patrick’s Day? BOOs.

  • Why did the Irish drive all the snakes out of Ireland? It was too far to walk!

  • What’s the best position for leprechauns to play on a baseball team? Shortstop.

  • What instrument does a showoff play on St. Patrick’s Day? Brag-pipes.

  • Why do leprechauns have pots o'gold? They like to "go" first-class.

  • How old are leprechauns? So old that they can remember when rainbows were black and white.

  • Why did the leprechaun stand on the potato? To keep from falling into the stew.

  • What would you get if you crossed Christmas with St. Patrick’s Day? St. O’Claus.

  • What’s a leprechaun’s favorite cereal? Lucky Charms.

  • Why do leprechauns hate running? They’d rather jig than jog!

  • What do you call a leprechaun with a sore throat? A strep-rechaun.

  • What should you say to someone running a St. Paddy’s Day marathon? Irish you luck!

  • What do you call a leprechaun’s vacation home? A lepre-condo.

  • Why are leprechauns hard to get along with? They are short-tempered!

  • What did the baby leprechaun find at the end of the rainbow? A potty gold.

  • Why do leprechauns prefer dollar bills to coins? Because they’re green.

  • What do Irishmen say when you tell them Bono is your favorite singer? You too?

  • Why did the leprechaun cross the road on red? To get to the pot of gold faster!

  • What did one leprechaun ghost say to the other? Top o' the moaning to ya!

  • Why do frogs love St. Paddy’s Day? Everyone's wearing green!

  • Why couldn’t the leprechaun pay his bar tab on St. Paddy’s Day? He was a little short!

  • What do you call a leprechaun who collects used cans, newspapers, and plastic bottles? A wee-cycler.

  • That last brew was a jig mistake.

  • What do you tell a smart aleck on St. Patricks Day? You're so clover.

  • What does Katy Perry sing on St. Patrick's Day? I kissed a leprechaun and I liked it.

  • Jameson on St. Patrick's Day? It's worth a shot.

  • What do you call a great photo on St. Patrick's Day? Pitcher-perfect.

  • What do you call a party on March 17? A shamrock' good time!

  • What does a leprechaun say about a hard riddle? I can't make head nor teal of it.

  • Why did St. Patrick kick all the snakes out of Ireland? He wanted the parade to be the only thing long and green in town!

  • How can you spot a jealous shamrock? It will be green with envy.

  • Why should you never lend money to a leprechaun? They always come up short.

  • What did the naughty leprechaun get on Christmas? A pot of coal!

  • What do you call a person who robs you on St. Paddy's Day? A lepre-con!

  • Who catches the lepre-cons? Under-clover cops!

  • What did St. Patrick say to the snakes? He told them to hiss off!

  • How did the leprechaun win the race? He took a shortcut.

  • How does a leprechaun work out? By pushin' his luck!

  • What's Irish and sits outside all day? Patty O'Furniture!

St. Patrick's Day Jokes for Kids

st patricks day hat
Lynne Gilbert - Getty Images
  • Where did the leprechaun hide during hide-and-seek? At the end of the rainbow!

  • What does it mean if you find a four-leaf clover? That you have too much time on your hands!

  • What do you call a leprechaun who gets sent to jail? A lepre-con!

  • What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a four-leaf clover? A rash of good luck.

  • Why did the leprechaun turn down a bowl of soup? Because he already had a pot of gold.

  • What’s green and sings? Elvis Parsley.

  • What would you get if you crossed a leprechaun with a frog? A little man having a hopping good time.

  • What’s big and purple and lies next to Ireland? Grape Britain.

  • What happens when a leprechaun falls into the Irish Sea? He gets wet.

  • What is a nuahcerpel? Leprechaun spelled backward.

  • How do leprechauns celebrate St. Patrick’s Day? By holding a lepre-concert!

  • Why did the leprechaun climb over the rainbow? To get to the other side.

  • Where would you find a leprechaun baseball team? In a little league!

  • What’s an Irish baby’s favorite song? Paddy Cake!

  • What do leprechauns barbecue on St. Patrick’s Day? Short ribs.

  • What does a leprechaun call a happy man wearing green? A Jolly Green Giant!

  • What do you get when you do the Irish jig at McDonald’s? A Shamrock Shake.

  • What kind of bow can’t be tied? A rainbow.

  • Where can you always find gold? In the dictionary.

  • What do you call a fake Irish stone? A sham-rock!

  • Why are leprechauns so good at gardening? They have green thumbs!

  • When does a leprechaun cross the road? When it's green!

  • What do you say when you lose a game on St. Patrick's Day? Game clover.

  • What do you call a big Irish spider? A Paddy long legs!

  • What does a leprechaun have for breakfast on St. Paddy's Day? Green eggs and ham!

  • What kind of spells do Irish wizards cast? Lucky charms.

Irish Jokes

st patricks day irish jokes
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  • Which dog breed should you invite to your St. Patrick’s Day party? An Irish Setter.

  • What does Ireland have more of than any other country? Irishmen.

  • What do you call an Irishman bouncing off the walls? Rick O’Shay.

  • What did the Irish potato say to his sweetheart? I only have eyes for you.

  • What’s the name of a popular Irish dance move? The shamrock shake.

  • Did you hear Ireland is the fastest-growing country in Europe? Its population is always Dublin.

  • How can Irish people tell when it’s summer? The rain gets warmer.

  • What does it mean when you find a horseshoe in Ireland? Some poor horse is going barefoot.

  • What do you call an Irish fella trying to break up a fight? Liam Malone.

  • When is an Irish potato no longer Irish? When its a French fry!

  • Why are the Irish so concerned with Global Warming? They’re into green living.

  • What do you call an Irishman with a case of chickenpox? A lepper-chaun!

  • How do you know an Irishman is having a great time? He's Dublin over!

  • What do you call a bulletproof Irishman? Rick-O-Shea!

  • What did the Irishman say to his lass after she broke up with him? I'm already clover it!

  • Why shouldn't you iron a four-leaved clover? You don’t want to press your luck.

  • An American Lawyer asked his Irish client, "Finnegan, why do all Irishmen answer a question with a question?" Finnegan replied, "Bullox! Why'd you think that?"

St. Patrick's Day Knock-Knock Jokes

st patricks day knock knock jokes
mediaphotos - Getty Images
  • "Knock, knock." "Who’s there?" "Erin." "Erin who?" "Erin as fast as I could, but I couldn’t catch the leprechaun."

  • "Knock, knock." "Who’s there?" "Irish." "Irish who?" "Irish stew in the name of the law."

  • "Knock, knock." "Who’s there?" "Saint." "Saint who?" "Saint no time for questions, open the door!"

  • "Knock, knock." "Who’s there?" "Boy." "Boy who?" "Boy do I love St. Patty’s Day!"

  • "Knock, knock." "Who’s there?" "Irish." "Irish who?" "Irish I could find a four-leaf clover."

  • "Knock, knock." "Who’s there?" "Leper." "Leper who?" "Leper con and I’m here to pinch you."

  • "Knock, knock." "Who’s there?" "Potto." "Potto who?" "Potto gold."

  • "Knock, knock." "Who’s there?" "Cora." "Cora who?" "Coran beef and cabbage."

  • "Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Irish." "Irish who?" "Irish you a happy St. Paddy's Day!"

  • "Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Ireland." "Ireland who?" "Ireland you some money if you pay me back!"

  • "Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Warren." "Warren who?" "You warren anything green for St. Patrick's Day?"

  • "Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Clover." "Clover who?" "Clover here and I'll tell ya."

  • "Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Pat." "Pat who?" "Pat your jacket on, we're late to the St. Patrick's Day parade!"

  • "Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Irish." "Irish who?" "Irish you'd kiss me!"

  • "Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Shepherd." "Shepherd who?" "Shepherd spy is watching you!"

  • "Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Paddy." "Paddy who?" "The life of the Paddy!"

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