22 Hilarious Tweets By Women That Made Me Laugh Like A Vaguely Unhinged Movie Villain (But, Like, In A Good Way)
It's Christmas rom-com season, and I, for one, am incredibly excited to watch delicate white women with tell-it-to-ya-straight Black and/or gay BFFs either move to or escape from a major city to fall in love with the hunky [butcher, baker, candlestick-maker, etc.] who's been closely guarding his heart ever since his ex betrayed him several years ago!!! ❤️💚
✅ Title is the worst pun you've ever heard.
✅ "I know your ex did a real number on you, but [female lead] isn't Kim. Just give her a chance! You can't be alone forever."
✅ Terrible acting.
✅ Slo-mo shot of individual snowflakes falling from the night sky.
✅ Santa Claus winks at the camera as he grants the precocious child's wish for their mom/dad/aunt/uncle/older sibling to find love this year.
While you binge every holiday movie on your streaming platform of choice, make sure you follow all these funny ladies on Twitter!
1.
Therapist: You saw the red flags though. right?Me: I thought it was a carnival
2.
when he asks for his hoody back
3.
Stockholm Syndrome but it’s me thanking my 2.5yo for sleeping “all the way until 5:17am without waking up once!!!”
4.
best part about a public toilet seat is they come heated
5.
i wanna do shrooms with him
6.
if twitter really is dying, my confession is that i never noticed the comma in that one pride and prejudice quote, so up until recently i always read it as "you have bewitched me body and me soul" in a leprachaun voice and i never understood how people found that romantic
7.
my el gee bee tee daughter
8.
sir u are 27 years old, u don’t have a thing for “milfs” those women are your PEERS
9.
no matter how small you try to make that “unsubscribe” at the bottom of an email, I WILL FIND IT
10.
on one hand being home for the holidays is good bc my mom cooks all my food and it’s like i have a personal chef but on the other hand it’s like why won’t this personal chef stop asking me about when im planning to get married and have kids
11.
can y’all be serious once
12.
I want to tell this man I think he's the epitome of toxic masculinity, but I don't want him to know I think he's masculine
13.
something about LA is that you can be at a party and the hottest people you’ve ever seen will start talking about the times they’ve encountered ghosts and you’re just supposed to be like woah yeah i’ve heard that happens
14.
me and my girlies talking about your weird penis
15.
“Thats rich coming from you Jessica.” LMFAO love it
16.
this what adhd brain looks like
17.
I once thought I was in a relationship with this girl so I asked her if she’d mind bringing guacamole to a party I was throwing, and she was like “oh, I think you’re confused….we’re not at please bring guacamole level.”
18.
*choosing a ringtone*me: what sound pairs best with a jolt of anxiety?
19.
I just need you to see the stairs in an apartment I viewed. Am I a mountain goat?
20.
when will it be my turn to take the wrong ski lift and accidentally go down a double black diamond run, screaming with my arms flailing the whole time, but somehow i stay upright and then suddenly i'm in a race and i win the olympic gold medal but i keep going down and then sudde
21.
me replying back to people .02 seconds after they text me
22.
he’s making a list? and he’s checking it twice? santa claus is neurodivergent confirmed
