22 Times Students Were So Hilarious, Their Teachers Couldn't Keep It Together In Class
We recently shared a post about teachers who cracked up in class because their students said shocking and hilarious things.
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We received a ton of adorable and laugh-out-loud comments about other times students were too funny for their own good. Here are some of my favorites:
1."Students were asked the question, 'What would you do if you woke up and there was a dinosaur in your backyard?' A student answered, 'I would shit my pants and call the government.'"
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—Eva Hooker, Facebook
2."I had a child sitting at their desk who was really fidgety and uncomfortable looking. I asked if everything was alright, and they said, 'I have to fart so bad, I think I'm gonna get a migraine.' I gathered myself and asked if they needed to step into the hall for a second. The fart was the loudest I've ever heard, and it carried over into my class. I had to open all the windows!"
3."Me: 'Can you tell me what Indigo is?' Sophomore student: 'Isn’t that a type of weed?' Me: 'No, that’s Indica.'"
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—Thomas Payero, Facebook
4."I worked at a daycare throughout high school and college. I had a pre-K boy tell me he had the 'soup poops' and didn’t feel well."
—Hannah Hebrink, Facebook
5."My sister teaches third grade. During a Zoom class, one kid put his hand up, but instead of asking a question, he announced to the class, 'MY DOG IS GETTING HIS BALLS CUT OFF TODAY!' My sis gets major points for only losing it for a half a second, and then replying, 'Well, it sounds like you’ll need to be extra gentle with him for a few days.'"
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6."My sister (who is very freckly) had a kid ask her if she went tanning through a screen door."
7."I was filling out some test paperwork for my fourth-grade students from the data their parents had sent me. One student's mother forgot to write his birthdate on the paper, so I asked him when his birthday was. He told me July 3. I asked what year. He looked at me confused and said, 'Every year!'"
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—Beverly Aaron Rivers, Facebook
8."I work in a preschool, and one of our 2-year-olds was on a swearing rampage. I was trying to sing 'Old MacDonald' with him and this is how he sang it: 'Old MacDonald had a farm, E-I-E-I-O. And on that farm he had a FUCK!' I burst out laughing, even though I probably shouldn’t have."
9."I was coaching a group of 4- and 5-year-olds when one kid loudly and proudly announced, 'My mummy’s having a baby, and my daddy doesn’t know!' followed by silence in the gym."
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—Teresa Holden, Facebook
10."I had a kindergartener during my second year explain in explicit detail why she thought there was actually someone in the woods when you say, 'If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound?' And she said, 'Yes, someone witnesses it, and his name is Kevin, and he lives in a treehouse in the woods, and he reports the trees falling,' and all the other kids were nodding their heads like, 'Yes, we know Kevin.' I’ve never been more baffled or impressed by anything in my nine years of kindergarten."
11."My favorite would have to be the 7-year-old kid who, after working on math, announced to the hallway, 'My brain...feels like a dead...goldfish.' I was so thankful for a mask to hide how hard I was laughing!"
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12."I had a kindergarten student tell me that her dad couldn’t come to pajama day because he didn't wear pajamas and just slept naked. The same student also informed me about her mom and dad showering together."
13."I was playing vet with a 4-year-old at a daycare. The kid put the toy stethoscope to my stomach, frowned, and said, 'Ms. Abby, you have crabs.' My co-teacher and I laughed so hard, we started crying. A few weeks later, the same kid walked up to the new teacher and said, 'Wanna know what we don't say? FUCK!' and ran away."
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14."My student called me 'wiener girl' the other day for no reason."
15."I used to teach ESL kindergarten. I had one kid who barely knew any English come in one day and say perfectly, in his sassy little voice, 'Oh my god, look at her butt.' I was LOSING IT on the inside, but trying to keep a perfectly straight face on the outside. I'm sure he didn't even know what it meant and was just repeating what he'd heard (who knows where!), but it was hysterical."
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16."I was teaching first-graders when one of the little girls came to me and asked, 'Can we call Mr. C?" (my husband). I asked why, and she turned to the class, who nodded her on, looked back at me, and replied, 'Because you need coffee really, really bad.' I called my husband on speakerphone, and the whole class told him I was grumpy and they needed him to bring me coffee. He did. They made my day. I taught that group for first and second grade. Best group EVER!"
—Beth Cameron, Facebook
17."I work with middle schoolers in special ed. My hair is prematurely grey, and I dye it. I hadn't gotten to my roots for a little while, and as I was leaning over a table working with one kid, he gave me this shocked and confused look and said, 'Ms. Bosio, your hair is getting OLD!' Another student asked me once how old I was. After a quick teachable moment about the social rules around asking people their age, I added, 'But you can ask me anything. I'm 39.' She shook her head sadly and said, 'Oh, so the best years of your life are over.' I just about fell out of my chair laughing."
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18."High school teacher here. Last week, one of our vocab words was 'enquire,' so I asked the class, 'What is something you’d enquire about?' One kid said, 'Eel reproduction.' We all had a good laugh AND learned about how eels reproduce, because one can’t say that without someone else googling it. That’s what keeps me coming back!"
19."One year, while teaching kindergarten, we had a bathroom inside the classroom. As we were making a list of steps for using the bathroom appropriately, I tried to prompt students to say, 'Flush the toilet,' by asking what they do when they're done going. A little boy, with all the earnestness in the world, stood up and called out, 'You shake it!' Lucky for me, I had a whole room of observers that day for another student being evaluated for special ed services. Not a single one of us was able to keep it together."
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20."My roommate was doing her student teaching when we were in grad school (so she was around 23 years old), and they asked her, 'Ms. Teacher, are you married?' She said, 'No, not yet.' They asked, 'Do you have a boyfriend?' And she said, 'Well, no...' The kids got super concerned and said something along the lines of, 'BUT YOU'RE SO OLD, AND YOU'RE GOING TO DIE SOON!'"
21."I came into work a little more dressed up than usual in a pantsuit. One of my first-graders said, 'Wow! You look like you’re going to a real job!' And once, in third grade, the vocabulary word was 'deliberate.' One student’s sentence was, 'I want to eat a pizza, but I have to wait for them to deliberate.'"
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