Pumpkin Jokes Are the New Dad Jokes and We Can't Get Enough

·3 min read
Pumpkin Jokes Are the New Dad Jokes and We Can't Get Enough

It’s that time folks. The best season of the year is back again! We’re talking about fall of course. Who doesn’t love all that fall has to offer? From pumpkin scouting to apple picking to admiring fall foliage, we love every second but before you know it Santa will be coming to town, all the leaves will have fallen, and we’ll have to wait another year for our favorite season to return.

To help you make the most of this precious time, we’ve found the funniest (and punniest) pumpkin and jack-o'-lantern jokes that will induce witch-like cackles, mummy-like groans, or a little bit of both during all your fall pursuits. These pumpkin jokes are sure to be a hit whether your on a long car ride to the pumpkin patch, passing out candy to eager trick-or-treaters, or rushing to throw together the perfect (well maybe not perfect) Thanksgiving feast. Warning: These jokes are so funny they may make you or others spit out a perfectly good pumpkin spice latte, so use them wisely.

You might even want to share the laughter with all of your friends on social media accompanied by your cutest pumpkin carving photos. For double the trouble, make sure to also check out these fall puns!

What do you get when you drop a pumpkin?

Squash.

What's a pumpkin's favorite genre?

Pulp fiction.

Why was the gourd so gossip-y?

To give 'em pumpkin' to talk about.

Why was the jack-o'-lantern afraid?

It had no guts.

Why was Cinderella bad at football?

Because she had a pumpkin for a coach.

What do you get if you divide the circumference of a pumpkin by its diameter?

Pumpkin Pi.

Why did the pumpkin take a detour?

To avoid a seedy part of town.

What does a carved pumpkin celebrate?

Hollow-een.

Photo credit: Jose Luis Pelaez Inc - Getty Images
Photo credit: Jose Luis Pelaez Inc - Getty Images

Who helped the mini pumpkin cross the road?

The crossing gourd.

What did the pumpkins say at happy hour?

Let's get smashed.

What did George Strait say to the pumpkin?

I'm Here for a Gourd Time.

What did the pumpkin say to its carver?

Cut it out!

What do surfers say on Halloween?

Gourd vibes only, bro.

How do you mend a jack-o'-lantern?

With a pumpkin patch.

What do you call an athletic pumpkin?

A jock-o-lantern.

How does a pumpkin listen to Halloween music?

On vine-yl.

What's the pumpkin's favorite Western?

The Gourd, The Bad, and The Ugly

Photo credit: Iuliia Bondar - Getty Images
Photo credit: Iuliia Bondar - Getty Images


What did the orange pumpkin say to the green pumpkin?

You look a little sick.

Where does a pumpkin preach?

From the pulp-it.

Why was the jack-o'-lantern so forgetful?

Because he's empty-headed.

What do you call a group of pumpkin besties?

#SquashGoals

What did the queasy pumpkin say?

I don't feel so gourd.

What did the pumpkin say after Thanksgiving?

Good-pie, everyone.

Why are jack-o-lanterns so smart?

A candle makes them bright.

How did the jack-o'-lantern quit smoking?

The pumpkin patch.

What’s the best thing to put into a pumpkin pie?
Your teeth.

What do you call a pumpkin that works at the beach?
A life-gourd.

What is black, white, orange, and waddles?
A penguin with a pumpkin.

What did Cinderella say when her carriage turned into a pumpkin?

Oh my gourd!

Why do jack-o-lanterns sit on people's porches?

They don't have the guts to knock on the door.

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