With cases of COVID-19 virus rising every day, reading the news can be panic-inducing. Life as we know it has, of course, come to a grinding halt for millions, and things are bleak. But, while we should all take the situation seriously, following recommendations from the CDC and the WHO, we also still need to laugh, to have at least a few moments in the day that are without stress. These coronavirus jokes might just take your mind off the apocalypse-adjacent state of the world, and serve as a reminder that there’s always something, however small, to smile about.
- What’s the difference between COVID-19 and Romeo and Juliet? One’s the coronavirus and the other is a Verona crisis.
- You know who buys up all the toilet paper? Assholes.
- Why do they call it the novel coronavirus? It’s a long story….
- Why didn’t the sick guy get the joke? It flu over his head.
- Why don’t chefs find coronavirus jokes funny? They’re in bad taste.
- I’ll tell you a coronavirus joke now, but you’ll have to wait two weeks to see if you got it.
- Nail salons, hair salons, waxing center and tanning places are closed. It’s about to get ugly out there.
- Finland just closed its borders. You know what that means. No one will be crossing the finish line.
- What do you tell yourself when you wake up late for work and realize you have a fever? Self, I so late.
- Did you hear the joke about the germ? Never mind, I don’t want to spread it around.
- Where do sick boats go to get healthy? The dock!
- What did the sick parent make their kids for lunch? Mac and sneeze.
- I ran out of toilet paper and had to start using old newspapers. Times are rough.
- You know what they’re saying about 2020. It went viral faster than anyone thought it would.
- What do you call panic-buying of sausage and cheese in Germany? The wurst kase scenario.
- Back in my day you would cough to cover up a fart. Now, with COVID-19, you fart to cover up a cough.
- If there’s a baby boom nine months from now, what will happen in 2033? There will be a whole bunch of quaranteens.
- You know what they say: feed a cold, starve a fever, drink a corona.
- What should you do if you don’t understand a coronavirus joke? Be patient.
- The grocery stores in France look like tornadoes hit them. All that’s left is de brie.
- Still no toilet paper in the stores. They’re wiped out and you’re shit out of luck.
- So many coronavirus jokes out there, it’s a pundemic.
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