21 Dirty Riddles For Adults That Are Actually Totally Innocent

Team Scary Mommy
·3 min read

Best part about getting older is enjoying lascivious content we would have gotten in trouble for back in high school. We’re talking dirty knock knock jokes, dirty jokes, and sex jokes that would have gotten us at least a week’s worth of detention. Well, now there’s a new genre to enjoy, dirty riddles with completely innocent answers.

Stump your friends and see who has the absolute dirtiest mind with our roundup of the best riddles with filth from the darkest corner of the internet.

dirty riddles

1. What’s a four-letter word that ends in “k” and means the same as intercourse?


2. I come in a lot of different sizes. Sometimes, I drip a little. If you blow me, it feels really good. What am I?

Your nose.

3. You stick your poles inside me. You tie me down to get me up. I get wet before you do. What am I?

A tent.

4. What four-letter word begins with “f” and ends with “k,” and if you can’t get it you can always just use your hands?

A fork.

5. All day long it’s in and out. I discharge loads from my shaft. Both men and women go down on me. What am I?

An elevator.

6. I’m spread out before being eaten. Your tongue gets me off. People sometimes lick my nuts. What am I?

Peanut butter.

7. Arnold Schwarzenegger’s is really long. Michael J. Fox’s is short. Daffy Duck’s isn’t human. Madonna doesn’t have one. What am I?

A last name.

8. I start with a “p” and ends with “o-r-n,” and I’m a major player in the film industry. What am I?


9. When I go in, I can cause some pain. I’ll fill your holes when you ask me to. I also ask that you spit, and not swallow. What am I?

Your dentist.

10. I assist with erections. Sometimes, giant balls hang from me. I’m known as a big swinger. What am I?

A crane.

11. What’s beautiful and natural, but gets prickly if it isn’t trimmed regularly?

The lawn.

12. What gets longer if pulled, fits snugly between breasts, slides neatly into a hole, chokes people when used incorrectly, and works well when jerked?

A seatbelt.

13. What does a dog do that a man steps into?


14. Name a word that starts with “f” and ends with “u-c-k”?


15. My business is briefs. I’m a cunning linguist. I plead and plead for it regularly. What am I?

A lawyer.

16. I’m great for protection. You use your fingers to get me off. What am I?


17. I’m the highlight of many dates. I’m especially responsive when you put your fingers deep inside me. What am I?

A bowling ball.

18. What’s made of rubber, handed out at some schools, and exists to prevent mistakes?


19. It’s a fun thing to do and you devote a significant amount of energy to thinking about it, but you hate knowing that your parents are doing it. What is it?


20. What’s white, sticky, and better to spit than to swallow?


21. Who’s the most popular guy at the nudist colony?

The guy who can carry a cup of coffee in each hand, plus a dozen donuts.

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