After College, Alone Time Sets In — These 20 Things Can Help You Enjoy It To The Fullest
When I first got to college, I honestly wanted to stay in my little shell. I wasn't anti-social in high school by any means, but I did have my own room at my house where I spent more than enough time to myself. Coming from a big family, I cherished quiet alone time almost as much as my first iPhone back then. But then I got to college and MAN did that shake up my introverted routine.
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Suddenly, I was expected to share a room with a complete stranger, meaning I had to negotiate decorations, use headphones to re-watch The Office for 5th time, and even be considerate about when I opened the curtains in the morning.
If I wanted food, I had to fight through crowds of my fellow undergrads and wait in lines for my oversized bowls of pasta. I was handed flyers by strangers on a daily basis inviting me to join a club, a sorority, or attend a function of some sort.
I sat in classrooms filled with 30 other English nerds who I was expected to share my dark and twisty writings with and who would ask me to join their study groups when they realized I actually did the readings.
In short, alone time became a figment of my imagination. If you'd told high school me about that phenomenon — that I would basically never be alone for four years — I would have literally run away screaming. But once I was in it... I was IN it and I couldn't get away from it. And weirdly enough, I started to enjoy it.
There was always someone to hang out with, to grab food with, to study with, to drink with! Once I got used to that, I glommed onto it really quickly. Everything I did, from grabbing my morning cup of joe to learning the timeline of the Old Testament (shoutout to my Jesuit university for that one...), at least one person, if not more, was by my side.
But then... graduation. Or, for my fellow Class of 2020 undergrads, a graduation slideshow while we were all safe at home.
Suddenly, my vibrant, social, constant human contact life was over in the blink of an eye. Sure, the global pandemic played a role in the isolation, as it still does for me and millions of others across the world. But pandemic or not, leaving college is a scary experience where I was facing the prospect of being more alone than I really ever had been.
Even in high school — heck, from preschool to 12th grade — I was with my peers in class 8 hours a day, five days a week. I did clubs, sports, had a job serving ice cream, and had a solid group of friends because of all the time we spent together doing all of those things. The idea of forging a life for myself outside of the boundaries of school terrified me.
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To combat that, I started looking into and trying various tactics for learning how to genuinely enjoy time by myself. Connecting with others was still a huge thing on my do-to list (as it still is to this day), but I knew that post-grad adult life was going to bring a certain amount of quietude to my routine.
No longer would I need to be cautious about opening the curtains in the morning, use headphones to watch my shows, or ask someone else if my new print was okay to go up on the wall.
Essentially, I started seeing the possibilities open up all around me. I didn't need to eat what the dining hall was serving on a given day, I didn't have to agree with my friends on which rose to drink on a Friday night, and I didn't have people hounding me to attend parties, functions, clubs, and extracurriculars. I could do whatever I wanted...and it felt GREAT.
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Instead of getting down and out about suddenly being alone all the time, I did my best (and still do) to look at the numerous bright sides of having alone time as an adult! After all, I do plan on having a big family of my own later in life just like the one I grew up in, so I figured I'd better relish the quietude and autonomy while I have it, right?
I'm still living and learning, but I do have some helpful tips and insights for enjoying your alone time post-grad while you're working on building your life. Let's jump in and see if any of these tactics speak to you - they've certainly worked for me! That way, we can all be enjoying our alone time "together," knowing others are out there trying to make it work, too. Some are simple, some are time consuming, some require inner reflection, and some require getting a little bit bold.
1.First Things First: Make A List
Specifically, a list of all the things you couldn't or wouldn't do when living with one or more roommates (or family!)
This isn't some sort of cathartic "oh my god, I hated my roommates/family" thing, don't worry. It's a first step in looking back before moving forward in a different way. If you shared a room, did you always have to wait until they left to change, or even leave when they did? If they were bothered by noises, did you always, always have to use headphones? Maybe they even hated the smell of your favorite candles or body fragrance and asked you to refrain from using it. List those things out — not in a malicious way, just in a black and white format where you can see on paper the things that living in dorms or apartments with other people precluded you from doing and put an emphasis on the ones you've missed, longed-for, or even always hoped to do. This will help you start to see the possibilities of being on your own in your own space.
2.Start Doing The Things On That List
Whether it's walking from the shower to your bedroom naked (it's liberating!), lighting those fragrant candles, or even cooking something your old roommate couldn't stand the aroma of, start living your home life YOUR way to the fullest. Take pleasure in being able to watch your favorite show on repeat, without headphones, while you make all the garlic brussels sprouts your heart desires! Light a gingerbread candle in July, organize the furniture in a way that works for you, and just generally do you, whatever that may look like. While you might be all alone, you can now cater that time directly to what you want and need.
3.Podcast, Podcasts, Podcasts, & More Podcasts
I know this isn't exactly an original idea for enjoying free/alone time, but it's a common suggestion because it genuinely helps to fill the silence for those of us who aren't fans of being left alone with our thoughts too often. Now don't get me wrong, we'll be discussing self-reflection and true quietude later on in this thread. But I for one don't think there's anything wrong with enjoying the voices and stories of podcasters while I'm going about my day. Stuck in traffic, going for a walk, cleaning the bathroom, or cooking an intricate meal? For some, music is the answer. But for me, listening to an informative, entertaining, newsworthy, timely, or straight-up hilarious podcast helps me utilize my free(ish) time to learn, expand my mind, and stay up to date on world events. Sometimes I'm laughing, sometimes I'm on the brink of crying, but either way I feel engaged and less alone when the familiar voices of my favorite podcasters are in my ears.
4.Establish A Weekly Or Monthly Schedule
While taking every day as it comes is a good way to look at the unexpected twists and turns of life, the benefits of solid daily routines are often overlooked, especially by us recent graduates. In college, every day of the week is different, or at least they keep alternating. Oftentimes, students have the same schedule for Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, and then a different one for Tuesdays and Thursdays. Three days a week you're up at 7:30 but the other two you don't have a class until maybe 10:20. It's honestly kind of nice having that flexibility but unless you're heading toward a career as a college professor, that lifestyle just doesn't reflect the reality of most peoples' day-to-day adult lives.
In the post-grad world, the reality of Monday through Friday jobs sets in and it can be overwhelming. The job is a great jumping off point for establishing a routine that you enjoy and helps you stay productive and (above all) happy, but it can also suck away at your motivation to do other things with the free time you DO have. A basic daily routine is incredibly helpful for productivity, but planning out your activities for the week or even month ahead is a great way to set yourself up for excitement, enjoyment, and success. That movie dropping on HBO on the 14th is a great reason to open your favorite bottle of red, the unseasonably warm weather on the 21st is practically begging you to finally go for that hike, and don't forget to block off an hour for calling mom on her birthday at the end of the month! Seeing that you have things planned - from exciting new adventures to everyday tasks like laundry - gives you things to look forward to and a sense of purpose even in the moments of quiet solitude.
5.Mindfulness & Meditation
While you may think that the classic idea of meditation isn't for you, the practice can provide numerous benefits to all sorts of wildly different people. Now I know this isn't the case for everyone out there, but I definitely struggle with anxieties in my day to day life that result in constant racing thoughts, unless I'm focusing on a podcast, that is. In all my alone time as an adult, I find myself listening to podcasts almost an inordinate amount, often for that very reason. But while distractions, especially ones that benefit me or my mind in some way, are helpful and (I think) okay some of the time, I know that spending time with just myself is just as important. To that end, meditation is a highly recommended (and free) way to help ease anxiety and also help balance a host of other physiological and mental functions.
According to Mayo Clinic, "During meditation, you focus your attention and eliminate the stream of jumbled thoughts that may be crowding your mind and causing stress. This process may result in enhanced physical and emotional well-being." Also according to Mayo, there are several, several different kinds of meditation - meaning there is very likely a style that works for you. From mantra meditation to yoga, to the different types of mindfulness you can practice throughout each style, meditation in any form is an intricately beneficial way to spend time with yourself. The article concludes on a great reminder to those of us still starting out: "Experiment, and you'll likely find out what types of meditation work best for you and what you enjoy doing. Adapt meditation to your needs at the moment. Remember, there's no right way or wrong way to meditate."
6.Avoid The FOMO
FOMO (fear of missing out) is a bitch on its own - there is literally no reason to increase it while you're spending time with yourself at home, whether on purpose or by necessity. I'm not telling you to delete your social apps, I'm just saying to be mindful of consistently scrolling while you're slouching farther and farther into an inevitable backache on your couch. It's great to check in on your friends, get a preview of this Spring's trends, and gain inspiration from people who travel and dine for a living (sign me up, btw??), but viewing image after image of that is only going to make you start to resent sitting at home alone, especially if you do it from the moment you get home to the moment you head to bed. Some of us (me included) even do it while we have something playing on the TV!
Rather than endless scrolling, I've been trying to be more present with one thing, one activity at a time. That being said, some things do go hand in hand - such as a podcast and going for a walk or a movie and cooking/eating dinner. But with my more idle time, when I'm finished working, cooking, cleaning, walking, and everything else, I try to make it a point not to just whip out my phone anymore. I actually focus on the movie at hand, I check the time and call my mom across the country when I can, or I head around the block to an adorable little park not five minutes away. There's so much to gain from social media, but not if it's just the feeling of jealousy from gazing at other peoples' lives.
7.Start A Creative Hobby
While we're on the topic of doing something other than scrolling through social media to fill your time, let's talk about one of the slightly more invested ideas for enjoying your abundance of alone time: creative hobbies! I'm not saying to splurge on a bunch of expensive oil paints and canvases out of nowhere — just that there are a bunch of small, creative little things you can do during your free time that can be catered to exactly what you're looking for.
Want something to do with your hands while you watch TV after dinner or listen to a podcast? Knitting, as random as it may sound to some people, is a fairly easy skill to pick up that helps to improve your dexterity and can provide other benefits. Plus, it's a hobby that can yield some pretty thoughtful handmade gifts for family and friends if you stick with it.
Want something that gets you a little more engaged? Drawing, painting, seed beading, embroidery, puzzles, and other crafty endeavors are all fun, productive ways to make use of your time. If you loved Legos as a kid, why not pick one up after all this time? Or maybe you used to be the queen of friendship bracelets at summer camp — why not head to the craft store, pick up a set of threads, and get back to that colorful activity? All of these creative hobbies are easily picked up and set down at your will; no stress, no time limit.
8.Daily Journaling
It doesn't matter if you've never journaled or you're already someone who basically writes a novel every night, committing to daily journaling is a highly recommended way to spend at least five to 15 minutes of your alone time each day. While it may seem like journaling in its many forms is self-care product of the pandemic, the practice of writing down what happened in your life on any given day is time-honored tradition that dates back centuries. While it's evolved over time and is used in different ways, journaling in any form provides a host of benefits for mental well-being and general way of life.
One a basic level, journaling is helpful for practicing mindfulness, AKA truly acknowledging and connecting with your deepest thoughts and desires. As you're just out of school and "figuring it out," as they say, doesn't it seem like a helpful idea to spend some of your alone time exploring what's really going on with you? Then, on some deeper levels, consistent journaling can also help improve your emotional intelligence, your self-discipline, your creativity, confidence, communication skills, and more. In fact, it's even noted that journaling can play a role in helping you achieve your goals!
9.Improve Your Culinary Skills
Maybe you grew up helping your mom in the kitchen or maybe you're still living off takeout and ramen, but either way, there's always room to expand upon your skills in the kitchen. Whether you're aiming to recreate a family recipe or you just want to learn how to properly chop various vegetables, investing your time in learning your way around a few dishes or styles of cooking is well worth the return.
While delicious restaurant food is but a few clicks away these days, a home cooked meal is never to be overlooked. If you have the means and opportunity, cooking classes are genuinely super fun and engaging ways to improve your skills, learn new things, and maybe even make some new friends! But, if you're still a semi-struggling post-grad like me, the internet is abundant with truly educational, instructional cooking videos. From how to chop a tomato "julienne" style, to how make alfredo sauce, to the surprisingly easy steps for making chicken marsala, you can learn to cook pretty much anything. Not only will this creatively engage you during your free time, but it will also provide you with delicious dinners, leftovers for lunches, and an impressive trick up your sleeve for when you do choose to have people over!
10.Get Out Of Your House
Whether you live alone by choice or circumstance, whether your home is a studio apartment or a house on a hill, you simply can't spend all of your time pandering around the same old scene. Definitely relish the time to yourself in your own space, especially since it's truly catered to YOU these days. Journal at the perfect desk set-up in the corner, paint on your coffee table while that new docu-series plays in the background, and make a mess of your kitchen when trying to perfect that new dish, but don't let yourself get stuck inside.
If you work from home, you often don't need to actually work from your literal home. You can head to the park, a coffee shop, a restaurant, library, or anywhere, really! A change of scenery can be an awesome way to spark creativity and help you stay engaged in whatever you're working on. Outside of work, though, it's crucial to go out and about at least once in a while to avoid feeling stuck in a cycle. Hand in hand with planning out your weeks' or months' activities, be sure that some of those things get you our of the house. Head to a new exhibit at a museum, try out a bar you normally might not, walk around your city's botanical gardens — the possibilities are endless. I'm not saying to do these things every single day, but planning an outing at least once a week has so many benefits. It gives you something to look forward to, it enriches your daily life, it may get you some needed Vitamin D, and, in many cases, you can find free or low-cost things to do around your town that help you learn more about where live.
11.Take More Walks In Nature
This one goes especially for those post-grads living in cities or more industrial areas, however taking walks in nature is essential for pretty for much everyone! The benefits of walking anywhere are well-documented and include things such as boosted energy levels, burnt calories, and eased joint pain/stiffness.
But specifically seeking out nature for your daily or weekend walks can actually carry a whole other host of benefits. Numerous studies have provided insight into those benefits, which can include everything from improved short-term memory function to reduced stress-levels. Humans are innately drawn to nature, which has the power to inspire the "sublime," or an intense sense of awe, in us. According to a study on the matter's lead author, Melanie Rudd, in Business Insider, "awe expands people's perception of time, enhances well-being and causes people to behave more altruistically and less materialistically."
In short, walking in nature is a free, healthy, and inspiring way to spend some of your free time. Plus, it's also the perfect opportunity to listen to a podcast, a new album, or even call a friend or family member to catch up if you have service where you're going! It doesn't have to be a big long hike, though — it can just be a stroll through your local park!
12.Practice Self-Care
In the hustle and bustle of entering the post-grad world, I think it's pretty common for a lot of us to swept up in our daily routines. We may still quickly wash our faces morning and night and apply lotion after showering, but when was the last time you truly slowed down on a Sunday and focused on pampering yourself? Sure, staying in your PJ's all day and watching the Harry Potter marathon that's on is technically self-care in my book, but going deeper into that practice once in a while helps me to really connect with and care for my mind and body.
Whether you're up for a full on homemade face mask, hair treatment, and at-home gel manicure type deal or you simply want to sit in the bathtub with a mug of chamomile, just do your best to make time for taking care of yourself. But in addition to a luxurious hour in a bubble bath, self-care means taking care of the more crucial things in your life, too, such as scheduling a yearly physical, finally going to a chiropractor for the crick in your neck, and drinking enough water on a daily basis. Pamper yourself now and then! But also be sure to keep on pace with those important health and wellness appointments and practices to keep up with your mental and physical health needs all year long. Your weekly/monthly schedules can help you stay on top of those things, too.
13.Print & Frame Photos (Or Make An Album)
Looking through old photos of the happy times in your life (alone or with friends/family) can be a great way to boost your mood and remind yourself that you do, in fact, have a fulfilling life outside of your alone time. But slouching on your bed staring at your screen doing so only increases your screen time for the day and keeps you locked in the little world of your phone. Instead, take some time to go through photos from the past couple of years and choose some to print! You can easily order prints in numerous sizes from online stores like Amazon or Shutterfly, but you can also take your phone or a flash drive to most drug stores and print them out on the spot!
There are so many things to do with your priceless photos and most of the options are very inexpensive! You can choose a few to print in larger sizes to hang on your walls (hint: most dollar stores have frames that work just as well as the overpriced ones at Target), which will help fill your space with beautiful memories, images, and joy.
You can also choose to print a chunk of your photos in the classic 5"x7" size and grab a photo album to begin filling up — I found a cute (and inexpensive) one at CVS a few years back that I'm still working on filling up to this day! A meaningful addition to photo albums is to write about the memories from/context of each picture on the backs of each print — that way, when you go back and look, it's almost like reading a picture book of your fondest times. When I'm bored and glancing around my room for something to look at, I love flipping through the pages and seeing/reading the memories of my boyfriend, dog, family, and friends.
14.If You Have A Pet, It's Time For Some New Tricks
Obviously, dogs are the most common trick-learning house pets, but some cats are definitely adept at learning little tricks, as well! But if you have a dog, whether it's a brand new puppy or a middle-aged hound, there's always time to learn new tricks and behavioral functions. Sit, lay down, paw (shake), and roll over are the basic ones and typically pretty easy to teach most dogs using training treats and a little dedication over some time. Plus, if you need some helpful input, the internet is filled with instructional videos made for this exact task!
A well-trained pet is can genuinely make your life easier on a daily basis and working with them to learn those new tricks and behaviors is a great way to spend your alone time and bond. From being leash trained for strolls to the farmer's market to not begging under the table at dinner time, teaching your dog these things is well worth your free/alone time.
15.Get Outta Town
While there are plenty of ways to enjoy alone time in your town and even within the four walls of your own home, getting past your city's limits is a great way to explore your region and see/learn new things. You don't need to plan a whole weekend trip with multiple bags and plane tickets — in most cases, there are little gems of towns sitting within a few hours' drive/train/bus ride of where you are!
For instance, living in Los Angeles, I'm just a few hours away from places like Santa Barbara, Palm Springs, San Diego, and Big Bear Lake, to name a few! While I happen to be fortunate enough to have a car, I might choose to take the bus or train to any one of those places so I don't have to worry about parking, gas, traffic, or even stopping for restrooms (most trains and buses have facilities). But the beauty in being alone if I did happen to drive is that there would be no one to get annoyed with how often I do stop for restroom breaks (tiny bladder club). Plus, once I get there (however I get there), I can go wherever I'd like to eat for lunch, I can head into any little shop I want to, and I could plop down in any given field to write in my journal or read my book. Plus, when I inevitably get antsy and want to head home, I'm on no one's schedule but my own.
16.Start A Windowsill Herb Garden
While some houseplants are notoriously tricky to care for, most basic herbs are relatively easy to grow and keep alive right there on your windowsill year-round. This not only gives you something to tend to/care for, it gives you something to keep track of, it shows progress on a daily basis, and it helps you save on costs at the grocery store. I can't tell you how many poor, half-used bundles of cilantro have gone to waste to waste in my crisper over the years. But when you grow your own plant, you can use what you need while the rest stays alive, rooted in its pot, waiting until the next time you need it.
If you want to get super into this, there are plenty of herb-growing kits you can purchase online at various price points. But if you want a simple and inexpensive solution, simply use old food and candle jars (plastic or glass) as your herbs' pots. Grab whatever seeds you desire at pretty much any local hardware, gardening, craft, or even drug store, snag a bag of basic gardening soil, and follow the instructions on the seed packets. In a matter of weeks, you'll have an abundance of fragrant and delicious herbs on your windowsill, as long as the spot gets enough light and keep on top of adequate watering!
17.Work Your Way Through Some Classics
I'm not saying you need to 2-day ship a copy of The Odyssey and annotate as you work your way through that behemoth, but turning to some of the classic works of literature and film out there is a fantastic way to spend some of your free time. Classics, even cult classics, are called classics for a reason; they're timelessly enjoyable and intriguing for a myriad of reasons. Whether you're more of a reader or a watcher, or you want to challenge yourself to be more of either one, there are tons of everlasting pieces out there just waiting to be taken in by you. Plus, I've personally found that the drive for reading in my personal time is slowly returning after the years of forced reading in college. Now that I have time for it and can do it of my own volition and not for a grade, it's actually appealing again!
From Pride and Prejudice to Frankenstein (a truly gripping and fascinating read), from Pulp Fiction to Jaws, taking time to ingest these works is not only entertaining but also informative. Not only will you begin to understand more pop culture references (and make more of them yourself), you'll also expand your own view of the world and increase your knowledge on widely varying subjects. Also, a huge bonus of these classic, older works is that they're often marked down wherever they're sold. Used bookstores are fantastic places to pick up classic literature; you'll be shopping local and you may even have the added benefit of finding the previous owners' notes in the margins - something I personally love. Walmart is a great place to scoop cheap movies, as are other big department and tech stores that often have huge markdown bins. Or, of course, you can turn to your trusty streaming services or Kindle for most of the classic pieces you're searching out.
18.Brainstorm Goals
No matter why you went to college, what you studied while there, or what you're currently up to, I'm willing to bet you have some goals percolating in that post-grad mind of yours. I certainly have things I'd like to achieve - both short and long-term goals - and I know that if I don't actively work toward them they very likely won't just magically come to be. Every once in a while, say every month or two, I like to sit down and brainstorm/list out some of the main goals at the front of my mind. Sometimes they're big, sometimes they're tiny, but either way, I find that putting pen to paper and seeing my goals in black and white is a good way to kickstart actually achieving them.
For me, it's almost the same feeling as a to-do list; I write down what I need or want to do and then I get huge satisfaction from checking things off one by one. Seeing my goals laid out on paper or a whiteboard like that has a similar effect, but I always try to remind myself that they're goals, not tiny tasks, and that means they're going to take time and dedication. What kind of work/life balance am I hoping to achieve eventually? What yoga poses do I want to nail by the time summer rolls around? What new trick do I want to get my dog to learn, no matter how long it takes? Your goals can be big or they can be small, but writing them out, taking the time to really think on them, is a hugely beneficial way to moving in the right directions.
19.Learn A Language
If you're anything like me, you made it through high school French (or Spanish) with a decent enough grade and then promptly forget most of it as you focused on other things throughout college. Or maybe you're better than I and you still have a solid base. Or maybe you've never taken a language at all! No matter your background or interests, learning a new language is an incredibly useful way to spend some of your free time. It can help you interact with your community on a deeper level, help you land certain types of jobs, and make traveling a heck of a lot easier (depending on where you go/what language you learn, of course). Plus, in this modern world, there are a bunch of low-cost ways to easily begin learning a new language right from your phone or computer.
Apps like DuoLingo and Babbel are super easy ways to start your language learning endeavor at home, in your space, where no one will laugh at you for taking 20 tries to learn one new phrase. But whether you pick i tup quickly or t takes you several years, learning a new language is a fun and rewarding way to spend your alone time.
20.Dance It Out
This one may not seem like it's for you but since you're alone anyway, you might as well give it a try if you're feeling antsy, inspired, energetic, or are just in the mood to move! Whether you give those TikTok dances a try (on or off camera), you make an effort to learn classic dance moves, or you just turn the music up and jump around, dancing is proven to have numerous health benefits.
Dancing can help to improve your balance, keep your heart healthy, challenge your mind, and even boost your mood! It's free, fun, and great exercise that comes in many forms for many different kinds of people. From the Macarena to the worm, give dancing a try when you're kicking around the house to spice up your normal routine.
