From "Midsommar" To "Barbarian," Here Are 20 Movies Guaranteed To Kill The Mood If You Watch Them On Valentine's Day
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WARNING: Some of the descriptions of the following films contain mentions of disturbing content. Please proceed with caution.
Valentine's Day is here, and the pressure is on to find that perfect romantic movie to cap off a lovely evening with your date/partner/significant other.
Universal Pictures
However, make the wrong choice and your date could be over before you can reach the pause button. So, if you're looking to settle in and cuddle up with a great romantic movie this Valentine's Day, we highly suggest NOT streaming any of these 20 potential date destroyers — just for this one day:
1.Midsommar
Cast: Florence Pugh, Jack Reynor, William Jackson Harper, and Will PoulterDirector: Ari AsterRuntime: 171 MinutesRating: RRotten Tomatoes
Featuring one of the ultimate feel-bad movie relationships, Midsommar follows a grieving young woman who joins her distant boyfriend on an excursion to a festival in rural Sweden that turns out to have sinister plans for their guests. If you’re looking to avoid tricky conversations about relationship politics or if it's ever justified to relish the death of your significant other, then you might want to wait to watch Midsommar by your lonesome.
2.Natural Born Killers
Cast: Woody Harrelson, Juliette Lewis, Robert Downey Jr., and Tommy Lee JonesDirector: Oliver StoneRuntime: 119 MinutesRating: RRotten Tomatoes
There have been a number of notorious “killer couples” movies throughout history, but none would likely crater a romantic date as quickly as Oliver Stone’s ultra-violent fever dream, Natural Born Killers. There may be raw passion and lust on display, but when paired with surreal imagery, provocative satire, and blood-soaked manic carnage, Natural Born Killers is likely to cement your next date night as your last.
3.Hellraiser (1987)
Cast: Andrew Robinson, Ashley Laurence, Clare Higgins, and Sean ChapmanDirector: Clive BarkerRuntime: 93 MinutesRating: RRotten Tomatoes
While his writing often concerns love, lust, and the perversion of the mind, flesh, and soul, Clive Barker's work doesn't exactly scream "traditional, lovey-dovey romance fare," and neither should his cinematic masterpiece, Hellraiser. The film does indeed follow a love story — that of a cheating stepmother who is so horny for her husband's brother that she kills strangers so he may be reborn from their blood — but chances are the skinless undead and leather-bound demons aren't exactly going to mix well with roses, chocolates, and a candlelight dinner.
4.Young Adult
Cast: Charlize Theron, Patrick Wilson, Patton Oswalt, and Elizabeth ReaserDirector: Jason ReitmanRuntime: 94 MinutesRating: RRotten Tomatoes
A modern classic of cringe comedy, Jason Reitman and Diablo Cody reunited for this story of a floundering young adult writer who is drawn back to her hometown with the hope of seducing her former flame at his newborn baby’s naming ceremony. Anchored by a tour de force performance from Charlize Theron, this misanthropic flick plays like the world’s most messed-up romantic comedy, and it won’t exactly set the mood to watch a woman try to initiate an affair with all of her might.
5.Gone Girl
Cast: Ben Affleck, Rosamund Pike, Carrie Coon, and Neil Patrick HarrisDirector: David FincherRuntime: 149 MinutesRating: RRotten Tomatoes
Just as inappropriate as Gone Girl may be as romantic reading material, David Fincher's film adaptation may even be more of relationship kryptonite for any coupling on shaky ground. Even outside of the bloody murder, the sociopathic framing, and the toxic behavior on almost all fronts, Gone Girl is the kind of anti-romance movie that'll have you examine all the bad behavior in your own relationship, and who wants to do that on Valentine's Day?
6.The Beta Test
Cast: Jim Cummings, PJ McCabe, Virginia Newcomb, and Kevin ChangarisDirectors: Jim Cummings & PJ McCabeRuntime: 94 MinutesRating: Not RatedRotten Tomatoes
An envelope-pushing comedy from directors and co-stars Jim Cummings and PJ McCabe, The Beta Test surrounds an ambitious talent agent who receives a mysterious invitation for a no-strings-attached sexual encounter, which turns his life, career, and engagement upside down. An often humorous twist on the erotic thriller, The Beta Test is the type of movie that will absolutely inspire some uncomfortable and potentially relationship-souring mid-viewing conversations.
7.The Loved Ones
Cast: Xavier Samuel, Robin McLeavy, Jessica McNamee, and John BrumptonDirector: Sean ByrneRuntime: 84 MinutesRating: RRotten Tomatoes
There’s nothing quite like a story about young love, and there’s definitely nothing quite like The Loved Ones, a shocking and underrated horror about a teenager whose crush kidnaps him to host her own private prom at home, and will go to extreme lengths to maintain her fantasy. If you or your significant other thought that they had the prom date from hell, you haven’t seen anything until you’ve met Lola from The Loved Ones.
8.Shiva Baby
Cast: Rachel Sennott, Molly Gordon, Danny Deferrari, and Dianna AgronDirector: Emma SeligmanRuntime: 77 MinutesRating: Not RatedRotten Tomatoes
Modern love can get really messy, but it doesn’t get much messier than the love triangle in Shiva Baby, a story about a bisexual woman who finds herself trapped at a crowded shiva with her ex-girlfriend and her sugar daddy, the latter of which arrives alongside his wife and newborn child. A cinematic panic attack that served as the breakout role for Rachel Sennott, Shiva Baby is the perfect fare to get under your skin and make even the happiest couple sweat with anxiety.
9.The Night House
Cast: Rebecca Hall, Sarah Goldberg, Vondie Curtis-Hall, and Evan JonigkeitDirector: David BrucknerRuntime: 110 MinutesRating: RRotten Tomatoes
How well do you know your significant other? Well, The Night House — a chilling horror that stars Rebecca Hall as a widow who discovers harrowing evidence of her late husband’s sinister double life — will certainly make you double-and-triple-check that their story is all above water before your next date (if there is another date, that is).
10.Titane
Cast: Agathe Rousselle, Vincent Lindon, Garance Marillier, and Bertrand BonelloDirector: Julia DucournauRuntime: 108 MinutesRating: RRotten Tomatoes
A surreal and unpredictable dramatic thriller, Titane is best experienced unspoiled, but it certainly redefines one particularly formative sexual experience in general. But even if the foundation of your relationship is rock solid, there’s a good chance that your strolls down lover’s lane won’t be the same ever again after watching Titane, especially if you’re an expecting couple.
11.Trash Fire
Cast: Adrian Grenier, Fionnula Flanagan, Angela Trimbur, and AnnaLynne McCordDirector: Richard Bates Jr.Runtime: 93 MinutesRating: RRotten Tomatoes
Everyone comes to a relationship with their respective baggage, but of course, said "baggage" is the kind of stuff we like to leave by the wayside during most romantic hours. In that case, you may want to avoid Richard Bates Jr.’s provocative Trash Fire, a story of two struggling lovers whose hopes of repairing their relationship are complicated by their family, including his vindictive grandmother, her devoutly religious brother, and his psychologically unwell sister, who was disfigured in a fire during their childhood.
12.In the Company of Men
Cast: Aaron Eckhart, Stacy Edwards, Matt Malloy, and Mark RectorDirector: Neil LaButeRuntime: 95 MinutesRating: RRotten Tomatoes
A truly unforgettable drama from the mind of playwright auteur Neil LaBute (who recently put out another date-ruining drama with 2022's House of Darkness), In the Company of Men stars two men (one of whom is Aaron Eckhart in his star-making performance) who decide to emotionally manipulate a female coworker to fall in love with them, only for one of them to fall for her for real in return. Retooling an atypical romantic comedy scenario for a truly nightmarish scenario, this deep dive into male insecurity and sadism might go further than ruining your date night; watching this one on Valentine's Day might send you to couples therapy.
13.Eraserhead
Cast: Jack Nance, Charlotte Stewart, Jeanne Bates, and Judith Anna RobertsDirector: David LynchRuntime: 90 MinutesRating: Not RatedRotten Tomatoes
Planning for a Valentine's Day with your forever person? Someone with whom you hope to build a family and future? If so, you should definitely avoid David Lynch's seminal cinematic head-trip for your date night chill session, a true worst-case-scenario for anyone worried about their in-laws, children, or domestic bliss in the immediate future.
14.Nina Forever
Cast: Fiona O'Shaughnessy, Abigail Hardingham, Cian Barry, and David TroughtonDirectors: Ben Blaine and Chris BlaineRuntime: 98 MinutesRating: RRotten Tomatoes
Starring Utopia's Fiona O'Shaughnessy, Nina Forever is a bloody horror comedy about a grieving man whose new relationship with a coworker is complicated by the ghost of his ex-lover, who returns to the world of the living any time the new couple becomes intimate. Any movie that might inspire you to think about an ex is bad enough on Valentine's Day, but any movie that might inspire a nightmare about your ex as the Ghost of Valentine's Day's Past could be much worse for yourself and your significant other.
15.Piercing
Cast: Christopher Abbott, Mia Wasikowska, Wendell Pierce, and Marin IrelandDirector: Nicolas PesceRuntime: 81 MinutesRating: RRotten Tomatoes
From up-and-coming genre director Nicolas Pesce (The Eyes of My Mother) and based off a novel from Ryu Murakami (Audition), Piercing follows a husband and father (Christopher Abbott) who attempts to fulfill his dark urges to kill a sex worker (Mia Wasikowska) until she reveals a dark side of her own and turns the tables on her would-be murderer. An excellent, trippy film that doubles as a screwed-up sadomasochistic love story, Piercing is also the kind of movie that might inspire your Valentine's date to second guess moving things to the bedroom afterwards.
16.The Greasy Strangler
Cast: Michael St. Michaels, Sky Elobar, Elizabeth De Razzo, and Abdoulaye N'GomDirector: Jim HoskingRuntime: 93 MinutesRating: Not RatedRotten Tomatoes
Romantic comedies are often people's go-to Valentine's Day viewing choices, and by definition, The Greasy Strangler is indeed a comedy about a romance. But this Elijah Wood-produced gross-out flick about a father and son vying for the love of a stranger while a grease-covered sociopath wreaks havoc across the city might be much more alienating and divisive to most couples who expect the standard Sandra Bullock or Jennifer Aniston rom-com flick.
17.Chasing Amy
Cast: Ben Affleck, Joey Lauren Adams, Jason Lee, and Jason MewesDirector: Kevin SmithRuntime: 111 MinutesRating: RRotten Tomatoes
Chasing Amy was once considered to be the crown jewel of Kevin Smith's long career in independent film, offering proof that the filmmaker could handle more mature and dramatic materials while maintaining his signature sense of humor. While most of that remains true, Chasing Amy's complicated sexual politics, which were muddy at the time, have aged like a rusty nail, and could potentially lead to a revoking of your date night movie-choosing privileges.
18.Promising Young Woman
Cast: Carey Mulligan, Laverne Cox, Bo Burnham, and Alfred MolinaDirector: Emerald FennellRuntime: 113 MinutesRating: RRotten Tomatoes
One of the bleakest and most controversial movies released since the start of the COVID-19 pandemic, Promising Young Woman surrounds a woman who regularly teaches lessons to predatory men and decides to seek revenge on the man who assaulted her deceased best friend. While the cover art for the movie might paint a different picture, I'd suggest that any couple that makes the mistake of throwing on Promising Young Woman on Valentine's Day should keep a make-good date plan in their back pocket.
19.Crash (1996)
Cast: James Spader, Holly Hunter, Elias Koteas, and Deborah Kara UngerDirector: David CronenbergRuntime: 100 MinutesRating: NC-17Rotten Tomatoes
There are many filmmakers who have mastered the art of capturing romantic stories on film; David Cronenberg is not one of them. While The Fly is likely the most notable of his love stories worth avoiding on Valentine's Day, any date that would choose Crash — Cronenberg's hyper-sexual NC-17 film about people with a car accident fetish — as their "Netflix and Chill" selection might be in for a rude awakening if their significant other is expecting, say, The Notebook or The Fault in Our Stars.
20.Barbarian
Cast: Georgina Campbell, Bill Skarsgård, Justin Long, and Matthew Patrick DavisDirector: Zach CreggerRuntime: 102 MinutesRating: RRotten Tomatoes
It starts off like any other romantic movie: a young, single woman accidentally double-books her Airbnb with a tall, handsome stranger, they hit it off, and the rest is history. Except in Barbarian, one of 2022's biggest horror hits, the rest is the worst kind of history; a history of demented and depraved behavior that comes back to bite everyone in her way. If you turn off Barbarian after the first 20 minutes, you might be okay, but if you're choosing Valentine's Day to cross off this freaky flick from your respective watchlists, you both might have a harder time booking your next romantic getaway.
