The 20 Coolest New Menswear Picks to Scoop This Week

Christmas will come and go and once again you'll end up with a bunch of gifts so bad the only thing you're looking forward to doing with them is inconspicuously offloading the whole lot on your younger brother ASAP. You specifically told your loved ones you wanted, like, OG Chicagos and yet somehow ended up with a wack pair of mids (in a second-tier color way, no less). GODDAMN IT, MOM. I TOLD YOU. WAY TO BRICK IT THIS YEAR.

C'mon, man, Take it easy. Shit happens. Your family's got more important things to worry about than your oddly specific sneaker preferences, and even if sometimes it feels like you're living in one of those "We have X at home" memes, it could always be worse. Hell, your parents could've snagged you a pair of *insert swagless shoe brand I'm forbidden to mention by name here* and then called it a day. The holidays are all about being grateful for what you have, and if what you have are heightened taste levels and a family who doesn't "get it," it's time to take matters into your own hands.

The most surefire way to guarantee you'll be satisfied with your gifts this year? Buy them yourself, baby! Santa's a phony capitalist stooge, anyway. Dude's probably been taking kickbacks from Hallmark for years. I'm sure the Times' investigative team is all over it. So why not cut Saint Nick out of the picture entirely and cop yourself the present of your dreams, courtesy of this week's best new menswear. Hey, if you want something done right...

Merry Christmas, you monsters. Now go make amends with your mother. Giving birth to you automatically accords her more drip than you'll ever accrue in a lifetime of reckless spending.