People Are Sharing Their Worst And Wildest Airport Stories, And It Makes Me Want To Throw My Passport In The Trash

·4 min read

Reddit user u/CommanderDinosaur recently asked, "Bored, waiting at the airport, Reddit what’s your worst airport story?" And, of course, the answers didn't disappoint!

Comedy Central

Please be advised that some submissions have been edited due to length and/or clarity.

1."One time when I was boarding a plane, I was denied entry. Why? Because, apparently, the people who check passports thought I had stolen someone else's passport and committed identity fraud. The photo in my passport was me when I had short hair, and when I was boarding the plane, I had an afro. I literally had to explain for, like, 10 whole minutes that I'm the same guy and I just grew out my hair."


2."I’m next to go through security, and DHS stops the line to run a drug dog through. It took so long that I missed my flight, which caused me to miss my connecting flight. An 8-hour trip turned into 24 hours."


3."I was at O'Hare and decided to use the men's room. While washing my hands, all I could hear were these horrible sounds coming from one of the stalls. There would be a humongous, thunderous fart followed by a splash that can only be described as a bowling ball hitting a pool of water. This went on for about three or four rounds. This old guy washing his hands next to me said it didn't sound different than combat in the Korean War."


Universal Pictures

4."One time, my plane got delayed for six hours, in two-hour chunks. Eventually, they just cancelled the flight."


5."I watched a guy arguing with staff for about half an hour because he couldn’t take a petrol chainsaw on as carryon luggage."


6."I pissed my pants during my immigration interview. I tried meditating away the urge as hard as I could, but I started leaking. I managed to stop it after a good seven seconds. And because of the interview, I ended up missing my flight, but I immediately went to the bathroom and changed."



7."We brought my dad's ashes to Florida to spread them in the ocean. They were in a small bag, but TSA at MKE General Mitchell airport thought it was meth."


8."A Chicago to Seattle flight. Two 5-year-olds who would not stop screaming. The flight attendant said they couldn't swap my seat with their parents, so after three hours, the mom came and saved me."


9."I was sold a fake Air Canada plane ticket at 16 and ended up stranded at Pearson International in Toronto without a way home to Vancouver. I ended up taking a Greyhound for three days to British Columbia."



10."I saw someone start projectile vomiting all over the place."


11."My family flew with Delta, and we spent the whole flight with a guy leaning all the way back in his chair, and two kids kicking our seats the whole flight home. They kept throwing toys through the gaps in the seat. It was awful!"


12."The time when someone freaked out and opened an emergency door, and no one at the airport had the key to turn off the beeping."



13."I ate a plate of catfish gumbo in departures at Cleveland Airport. I vomited it up all over my seat, lap, and Kindle shortly after takeoff. No other seats were free, so I had to clean myself and the seat as best I could, then sit in it again until we landed in Atlanta."


14."I once hand-washed my pants in a McDonald's sink in the bathroom. They were really wet, and I tried to dry them with the hand dryer as best as I could. At least they weren't chunky anymore."


15."My niece and I were flying back to Florida with my dad, 89, who was in a wheelchair. My niece was carrying his walker, so they waved us toward the handicap area. The TSA agent told my dad that he had to remove his shoes and WALK THROUGH the handicap gate. I know better than to protest with TSA, so I asked nicely for a supervisor. The supervisor insisted my dad use the walker, in his socks. We couldn't help him walk, he couldn't go in the wheelchair, and thank God he didn't fall. TSA in Atlanta, you suck!"



16.And finally, "I was checking in at CDG for a flight to LA, and a security guard came running through the terminal yelling 'fermez,' at the customer service staff. Turns out, someone left a bag unattended, and they treated it like a bomb threat. Thousands of people evacuated the crowded terminal, and it was chaos for the rest of the day, since most of us missed our flights."


Fermez is the French word for "close."

Do you have a wild airport story? Tell me all about it in the comments below!