Reddit user u/seemeatthezoo asked the Reddit community: "As a bodyguard, who was your best and/or worst person you had to protect?"
Well, as someone who is deeeeeeply infatuated with all things celeb, I couldn't help but be baffled and intrigued by their experiences. Like...these bodyguards have some STORIES about working with famous men, and they're juicy as heck!
So, here's what it's truly like protecting famous men, according to celebrity bodyguards:
Disclaimer: We can't confirm 100% of these stories, but some of these people are supposedly speaking from their own experiences as bodyguards for famous men.
"When I was younger, I worked security, and I had to escort John Cena somewhere. I was told not to let any fans near him. A fan saw him and asked for an autograph, which caused more fans to see him. He said it was fine to let them near him, and signed an autograph for every single fan. He apologized for making me wait and gave me a Snickers chocolate bar when we got to his dressing room. This was when he was new on the scene and not very popular, but I will always remember that about him. When people say he's a nice guy, they are not exaggerating."
"Snoop Dogg was totally chill. He asked that I put the Steelers game on for him, and gave me a wad of cash to pay for a bunch of Playstation 2s to bring up to his room (since him and his entourage were going to have a major Madden tournament in the evening). He also instructed me to only allow young people near him for autographs because he doesn't sign them for adults. He's a very respectful individual."
"Adam Lambert was the worst — I never met or worked for someone so heartless and rude. I was asked to take care of his private security one night as a favor for his tour manager. He literally came up to me, put his arm on my shoulder, and said: 'Unless you see a thousand people bothering me, stay as far the fuck away from me as possible.' I couldn't believe that someone I was asked to protect said that. I did my best to be professional and held every ounce of strength not to kill the guy myself. He purposely made my night a living hell."
"I helped protect Marky Mark (Mark Wahlberg) and the Funky Bunch from fans during a show. We basically had to hold the line and take passed out girls over to the EMTs. I really had no business being out there since I was pretty scrawny and only 15 years old, but my friend's dad was running the party. I got to meet Marky Mark (who was super friendly), and he threw a mean handshake where all I could do was stay loose and go with it. Then, we ate some fried chicken with the group backstage. The end."
5.Pope John Paul II
"The greatest person I did security for was Pope John Paul II. He was funny as hell when he found out I was an atheist. He laughed and said: 'How do you feel about protecting me?' and I replied: 'Well, at least I know if I die protecting you and I was wrong about God, it would definitely put a huge notch in the good category.' He laughed, offered to bless me, and I let him."
"I worked at a concert venue when I was in college, and had to guard the dressing rooms and escort the acts to the stage. I never had a bad experience. One time, Ludacris smoked out his entire room, and the only time I have ever been high was from the contact-high from standing next to the door."
"I got injured while I was in the Marine Corps in San Diego in 2009, so they sent us out to Comic Con to do security for celebrities who were signing autographs and doing talks. Adam West was a complete asshat. He showed up 'covertly' wearing a hat and sunglasses, and when he took everything off, many people didn't notice, and he was upset. He waited for everyone in line to applaud him before he sat down. And when he did, it took him 20 minutes to 'get ready' (which meant yelling at his assistant for a multitude of reasons)."
"When he finally started letting people through, they announced that each autograph was $40, and he would only sign one of four pictures that he brought himself. After an hour, he started signing things people brought for double ($80 for him to barely put a scribble on something).
He freaked out and left after yelling at his assistant for 10 minutes, leaving 150 people standing in line (who had been waiting for three hours). It made me really sad. I always really liked him before that..."
"When a certain Die Hard star was filming in our city (with his Demi-star wife), they stayed at the hotel where I worked. Their armed guards (plural) stood at the door to their suite until the end of their shift, at which time they came down to have a drink at the bar across the street where the hotel employees all 'refreshed' after work. They were very entertaining and generous guys who knew what they did was 'silly,' but they managed to stay respectful of their 'bosses.' They laughed at the fact that a turkey sandwich from room service was the biggest threat they had ever faced."
"I worked for KISS backstage by the dressing rooms. These four random bros came through the stair doors with backstage passes, and they asked to go in the dressing room (assuring me they've done it before at a KISS concert). Well, the VIP passes for the crew had little stickers we had to check for, and as I was checking, two of the guys just went into the dressing room Gene Simmons was in."
"I went to get them, but the stage manager was already shoving them out and then proceeded to scream at me. I tried explaining I was checking the passes and they just barged in, but he kept berating me.
Gene Simmons came to the door and said: 'It's okay, don't worry.' The guys were long gone, but the SM sent me to a different post outside Paul Stanley's room instead. He was an awesome dude. We chatted for a couple of minutes about a fantasy novel I was reading. So, the band was awesome (the SM not so much)."
"Tony Robbins was an absolute tool. Never mind the fact that he made all of his wealth by taking advantage of gullible people, but his behavior just adds to his douche-like behavior. He demanded that his hotel room be a certain temperature at all times, and when it was a couple of degrees off, he lost his shit and started yelling at the hotel staff."
"I had to escort him up to his room after one of his seminars, and his 'staff' stated that I had to be 20 feet away at all times or I would be disturbing his 'aura.' How the hell am I supposed to protect him if I have to stand that far away?
He also had this machine contraption that looked like a mix between an enema machine and a giant dildo. I had no idea what the hell it was for, and I didn't ask. Weird dude overall."
"I did security for the MTV beach house in summer 2002, and years later, I met David Arquette at Reggae on the River. He took some pictures with us, served some beer, then decided to climb on top of the empty kegs. I yelled at him to get down because the pyramid of empty kegs was NOT sturdy."
"Weezer was awesome. They had full catering backstage that they let the guards enjoy as well. Most of the band was out of their dressing rooms before the show, and Rivers Cuomo was kicking a soccer ball around with some of the guards. Super cool guys."
"Robert Duvall is an excellent, excellent man. He keeps a book with him, and when he eats at restaurants, he logs it so he knows where to eat, where not to eat, and what to order. One day, he had a nice lunch at a small joint and was just about to get the check when someone finally recognized him. There were only about 20 people in there, and only 10 wanted an autograph (this was a time before cellphone cameras). The others just simply took a handshake."
14.And John McCain
"When I was in high school, a state department security guard came and talked to my class. He provided security whenever members of Congress went overseas. During the 2008 election, John McCain went to Iraq to visit the troops, and when planning the trip, McCain pointed to the map and said: 'What about here, can we visit this base?' The security guard responded: 'No, that's outside of the safe zone.' McCain was like: 'It's okay — I'm willing to risk myself for the troops since they do so for us.'"
"The security guard responded: 'I'm not risking MY guys just so you can make a political grandstand for the election.' We later asked him who the worst person to deal with was. He looked back at his PowerPoint picture of McCain, smiled, and said: 'Oh, nobody is really that bad...'"
Note: Some stories have been edited for length and/or clarity.