Let’s be honest: Most of us followed
The Vampire Diaries just to track the shifting relationships between the show’s huge ensemble cast. Unfortunately for us, TV’s last remaining source of vampire-human romance is coming to a close with tonight's series finale.
The chemical reaction between vampires and their human objects of attachment have led to some of the most
electric sex scenes in history. There’s an undeniable appeal in the solitary, emotionally unavailable figure completely unable to resist an individual human’s charm. While clearly we're attracted to vampires (looking at you, Bella), are vampires attracted to us?
In honor of Damon, Stefano, Edward Cullen, and all the vampires who have captured our all-too-mortal hearts, we rank the sex drives of the
sexiest vampires in pop culture history. The Vampire Diaries finale airs on Freeform at 8 p.m. E.S.T. Read These Stories Next: The Hottest Movie Sex Scenes, Ever (NSFW) Heartbreaking Movies You Should Never Watch Alone The Best Vampire Movies Of All Time
Vampire: Louis de Pointe du Lac (Brad Pitt) in Interview With The Vampire(1994)
Sex Maniac? Long-haired god? Yes. Maniac, no.
Louis is your classic brooding vampire who hasn't managed to shrug off his moral code. Instead of reveling in immortality and immorality, he roams around feeling guilty for his bloodthirsty ways. Brad Pitt's luscious locks and piercing contact-lensed eyes make him a total stud — but Louis' character doesn't get much action in this movie.
Francois Duhamel/Geffen Pictures/REX/Shutterstock More
Vampire: Angel (David Boreanaz) in Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Sex Maniac? It's...complicated.
Unfortunately for Angel, he has a curse that gets in the way of ever achieving true sex-maniac status. After experiencing a moment of true happiness, Angel is doomed to turn into Angelus, an evil demon version of himself. This drastic transformation occurs immediately after he and
Buffy have sex, closing off any opportunity for deeply fulfilling relationships. Timothy White/20th Century Fox Television/REX/Shutterstock More
Vampire: Edward Cullen (Robert Pattinson) in Twilight(2008)
Sex Maniac? He wishes!
Edward Cullen is proof that a vampire can be sexy (that bouffant! that sparkle!) but not
sexual. We all remember a quivering Edward, desperately craving his clumsy human amour, yet not sure he'd be able to avoid murdering her in the process. Talk about a commitment-phobe. Courtesy of Summit Entertainment More
Vampire: Tara Thornton (Rutina Wesley) in True Blood(pictured left)
Sex Maniac? Only off camera.
As a human, Tara avoids relationships like vampires avoid garlic. Her closed-off tendency only gets worse after Eggs, her boyfriend, dies at the end of season 2. But when Tara’s turned into a vampire by Pam, she’s given another chance to explore her sexuality. She and Pam share one of the most exciting kisses in
True Blood history, but whatever else happens happens off camera. Hbo/REX/Shutterstock More
Vampire: Dracula (Jonathan Rhys Meyers) in Dracula
Sex Maniac? In a dashingly 19th-century way, yes.
Not only is Dracula featured in a number of steamy period-piece sex scenes, actor Jonathan Rhys Meyers also goes commando for their filming. We'd say that awards him the official "sex maniac" label.
NBC Universal TV/Playground Entertainment/Sky Living/Universal TV/REX/Shutterstock More
Vampire: Jessica Hamby (Deborah Ann Woll) in True Blood
Sex Maniac? More like love triangle magnet.
As a human, Jess grew up in a devoutly Christian household. Being a vampire opens up a brave new world for her, namely one that involves flip-flopping between two human lovers. After a journey reminiscent of
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind(think wiping out long portions of their relationship from memory!), Jess marries her first human love, Hoyt Fortenberry. Hbo/REX/Shutterstock More
Vampire: Stefan Salvatore (Paul Wesley) in The Vampire Diaries
Sex Maniac? Straddles that perfect line between lust and bloodlust.
Think back to season 1 of
The Vampire Diaries — the good old days. Stefan and Elena just couldn't get enough of each other, plus the minor complication that Stefan's dying to drain her body of blood. That whole carnivorous streak admittedly puts a damper on his ability to be a wild and free maniac. Cw Network/REX/Shutterstock More
Vampire: Queen Akasha (Aaliyah) in Queen of the Damned(2002)
Sex Maniac? More like maniac.
In this offshoot of
Interview With the Vampire, the vampire Lestat wakes up the mother of all vampires with his epic rock music (seriously). Lestat and Queen Akasha proceed to have aggressive vampire-on-vampire sex in a petal-filled hot-tub. This scene is a bit too bloody and campy to be actually sexy. Jim Sheldon/Warner Bros/REX/Shutterstock More
Vampire: Bill Compton (Stephen Moyer) in True Blood
Sex Maniac? Have you seen Sookie's neckbites? Yes, yes, yes.
Whereas Eric Northman, fellow
True Blood vampire, is a 100% bona fide sex maniac, Bill Compton only has eyes for Sookie. Bill's trying (and failing) to resist Sookie makes him all the more attractive. There's no delight like watching Bill Compton's Civil War values loosen and loosen over the course of the series. Snap Stills/REX/Shutterstock More
Vampire: Miriam (Catherine Deneuve) in The Hunger (1983)
Sex Maniac? More like master sex manipulator.
The Hunger, Miriam turns humans into her vampire lovers with the promise of eternal life. But, as her lover John (David Bowie) discovers, eternal life doesn't mean eternal youth. Miriam's a sex maniac operating with a greater goal in mind. MGM/UA/REX/Shutterstock More
Vampire: Damon Salvatore (Ian Somerhalder) in The Vampire Diaries
Sex Maniac? Just a tad more than Stefan.
Damon has a leg up on his brother, Stefan, because he's just slightly more evil. And, as everyone knows, a twinge of evil only does more to turn a vampire into a sex symbol.
Cw Network/REX/Shutterstock More
Vampire: Edward Northman (Alexander Skarsgärd) in True Blood
Sex Maniac? Dude practically runs a sex club. Of course.
Sookie Stackhouse loses her vampire virginity to Bill Compton, but she's shown the ways of the world with Eric Northman, owner of Fangtasia and
overall sex god. Snap Stills/REX/Shutterstock More
Vampire: Pam Ravenscroft (Kristin Bauer van Straten) in True Blood
Sex Maniac? Puts the rest of 'em to shame.
Pam, co-owner of
True Blood 's Fangtasia, is rarely seen without a lover of some sort. She's unafraid to assert her vampire superiority, and thus has the most fun with her undead life than anyone else in this list.
Pam teaches us the key to achieving vampire sex maniac status: Embrace the vampiric way of life wholeheartedly, and don't get too attached to your food.
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