For those who have been wondering since she appeared on 60 Minutes back in March, "Who threatened Stormy Daniels?" theories began flying fast after Daniels and her attorney, Michael Avenatti, shared this sketch with the women of ABC's The View on April 17, with suggestions from across the Internet that her attacker might be any of a wide variety of famous (and infamous) men, including former White House communications director Anthony "The Mooch" Scaramucci, New England Patriot's quarterback and friend-of-Trump Tom Brady, Fox News host Sean Hannity, movie star Willem Dafoe, and Daniels' own husband, Glendon Crain.
While chatting over their morning cup of Joe, Daniels' and Avenatti shared several major bombshells, such as behind the scenes details of how it came to pass that President Donald J. Trump's attorney, Michael Cohen, outed Fox News host Sean Hannity as his "secret third client", as well as Avenatti's belief that Cohen will not only be indicted "within the next three months, likely," but that once that occurs, "he's gonna roll on the President."
"No question in my mind," Avenatti stated, "Mr. Trump left him behind when he went to Washington. He hasn't done him any favors."
The two then released the sketch shown above of the man they allege threatened Daniels at Trump's bidding in 2011.
During her interview with Anderson Cooper on CBS' 60 Minutes back in March, Daniels shared the details of her frightening encounter.
"A guy walked up on me and said to me, 'Leave Trump alone. Forget the story' — and then he leaned around and looked at my daughter and said, 'That's a beautiful little girl. It'd be a shame if something happened to her mom' and then he was gone."
Daniels offered a reward of $100,000 to anyone capable of correctly identifying the man in her sketch.
Not one to stay silent in the face of such allegations, Trump took to his favorite PR resource, AKA Twitter, to make his thoughts about the sketch known to all.
A sketch years later about a nonexistent man. A total con job, playing the Fake News Media for Fools (but they know it)! https://t.co/9Is7mHBFda
— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) April 18, 2018
"A sketch years later about a nonexistent man. A total con job, playing the Fake News Media for Fools (but they know it)!"
Within that same Tweet, Trump linked to another post from someone who appears to be part of the community of Trump supporters known as the "deplorables," in which he attempted to draw all of Twitter's attention to the striking resemblance between the man in Daniels' sketch and her third and current husband, Glendon Crain.
— Deplorably Scottish (@ShennaFoxMusic) April 18, 2018
"Oops! This is awkward!"
From that moment on, everyone from Twitter comics to the late-night talk show hosts of the world has taken it upon themselves to figure out exactly who the mystery man in Stormy Daniels sketch might be, with results ranging from intriguing to hysterical.
To help you solve the puzzle of exactly who threatened Stormy Daniels, here are 13 of the best theories that have been put out there so far.
1. Tom Brady
Stormy Daniels sketch of man who threatened her in 2011…and Tom Brady in 2011. pic.twitter.com/oRCyDLVSSr
— Matt Viser (@mviser) April 17, 2018
"Stormy Daniels sketch of man who threatened her in 2011…and Tom Brady in 2011."
It's got to be tough to be Brady. That's really all there is to say about this one. Well, except for the phenomenal wealth and fame and the supermodel wife, but you get it.
2. Sean Hannity
After all, it has now been reported that "Fox News host Sean Hannity was a client of President Trump's personal attorney, Michael Cohen [and] that the political commentator has employed at least two other lawyers with links to the president and who are also frequent guests on his show."
3. Daniels' third and current husband, Glendon Crain.
Daniels and Crain, a drummer and producer, have been married since 2010 and share one child, a daughter.
Reports say that in July of 2015, "Crain was accused of family violence and 'intentionally, knowingly or recklessly causing bodily injury,' after he allegedly pushed Daniels to the floor ... On March 15, 2018, the charges against Crain were dropped after he completed a rehab program."
Notably, Daniels 60 Minutes interview aired just over one week later, on March 25, 2018.
4. Anthony "The Mooch" Scaramucci
Gucci Moochi (as he should rightfully be known from now on) quickly attempted to clear the record by citing his less than tall stature.
I thought the description said he was 6’ 2”! I am all good. https://t.co/SLuV118UUv
— Anthony Scaramucci (@Scaramucci) April 17, 2018
"I thought the description said he was 6’ 2”! I am all good."
But not so fast there, GM. Daniels described the man in her sketch as standing somewhere between 5’9" and 6’ tall, so at 5'8", Scarmucci isn't really all that far out of the realm of possibility.
5. Donald Trump's head of security,
— Freedom Forever (@WayneWi20770958) April 18, 2018
"I don’t know ... the sketch also looks like your Director of Security."
This possibility is certainly one of the most intriguing, however as of the moment, the identity of the man in the actual photos being presented as Trump's "Director of Security" remains unknown.
6. Movie star Willem Dafoe
Anyone who thinks the Stormy Daniels sketch looks like Tom Brady clearly never met Willem Dafoe. pic.twitter.com/3LngeGieN5
— Skye D (@missskye) April 17, 2018
"Anyone who thinks the Stormy Daniels sketch looks like Tom Brady clearly never met Willem Dafoe."
7. Arnold Schwarzenegger in his prime.
Why does the sketch of Stormy Daniels alleged attacker look like a young Arnold Schwarzenegger? pic.twitter.com/mpIjpolUuX
— GRANT J. KIDNEY (@GrantJKidney) April 17, 2018
"Why does the sketch of Stormy Daniels alleged attacker look like a young Arnold Schwarzenegger?"
8. Matt Damon
Damon certainly has not been known as of a friend of women these days. Just saying.
9. Matt Damon ... the Puppet
The man who attacked Stormy Daniels -- according to this sketch from The View today -- looks exactly like Matt Damon's puppet in "Team America" pic.twitter.com/ECrQgpY6f7
— Sarah Burris (@SarahBurris) April 17, 2018
"The man who attacked Stormy Daniels -- according to this sketch from The View today -- looks exactly like Matt Damon's puppet in 'Team America.'"
10. Tyrion Lannister from Game of Thrones
Fortunately for him, where Scaramucci's alibi fails, Lannister's seems air tight.
11. Rock star Jon Bon Jovi
— Casey Warpath Janis (@cinders1313) April 17, 2018
"THE STORMY DANIELS SKETCH LOOKS LIKE BON JOVI...."
Impossible. (Sorry, not sorry.)
12. Actor Jared Padalecki
— Jen G (@amzingrl) April 18, 2018
"Idk that @StormyDaniels sketch kinda looks like Jared Padalecki"
While the actor does have a vague air of the bad boy, it is hard to imagine he found time to take on this side gig in the midst of filming Supernatural, getting married, and welcoming his first child, all of which were happening in his life circa 2011.
13. Guns N' Roses' Axl Rose
In the interests of comprehensive coverage, I took it upon myself to see what a variety of celebrity look-a-like apps would uncover.
And oh, Axl. Please, say it wasn't you.
Senior Editor and happily-former divorce coach/mediator Arianna Jeret is a recognized expert on love and relationships (except when it comes to her own life, of course) who has been featured in Cosmopolitan, The Huffington Post, Yahoo Style, Fox News, Bustle, Parents and more. Join her Sundays at 10:15 PM EST when she answers questions on Facebook Live on YourTango. For more, follow her on Twitter (@ariannajeret) and Instagram (@ariannajer).