There’s no question that the pandemic has upended routines for families across the country. In adjusting to the “new normal,” many parents have taken on the roles of full-time caretaker and educator, often while continue to work their own jobs. As a result, many parenting styles, attitudes, and relationships have changed during quarantine. And, it turns out, not all the change has been bad.

In a study of more than 1,000 parents in the U.S. by Young Living, 60 percent of parents say that they’ve grown closer with their children during this time, due to the extra time they're spending together. Additionally, 92 percent of dads and 81 percent of mothers surveyed said the time in quarantine has changed their familial relationships. This closeness may make up for the fact that 72 percent of parents say they are more stressed on a daily basis than they were pre-COVID.

Some parents have worked through the stress by adjusting their approach to parenting. In an effort to balance working with teaching, 25 percent of parents saying they’ve been lenient about their children keeping up on schoolwork. Additionally, 73 percent of parents say they're using the television to help combat stress in the house.

For some families, however, the stress of a global pandemic can't be curbed by watching more TV. Parents who are considered essential workers or unable to work from home worry about the health risks that come with keeping their family’s finances in tact. Additionally, Black and brown families have been affected the most by the pandemic, with members of their communities dying and losing jobs at higher rates, according to CNN.

It's clear the pandemic has presented parents with challenges they never thought they'd have to face. And as parents from all walks of life try to survive this trying time, it's important to remember that no matter what your parenting style looks like now — you’re doing a great job.

Before COVID, Kristin White was the do-it-all mom—activities, playing outside and multitasking her work. “Now, I cherish the lazy mornings,” White tells Woman’s Day. “Some days, the kids go to sleep in the same pajamas they wore the night before. I’d like to think giving these little kids more independence than ever will be good for them in the long run."

Although Amelia Zamora has been more relaxed on routines and schedules, she’s finding that it’s not always great to be laid back. “My young kids definitely strive on routine, and it’s actually caused more tantrums and fights since we haven’t had a structured schedule,” Zamora, author at Mama Bear Reviews, tells Woman’s Day.

Although it was nice in the beginning not to have to run all over the place, the change has caused issues at home. Despite the stress, she’s redefined what quality time means to her. “Before, I would be distracted by my phone and other tasks to get done, but the extra time home during quarantine has grown my understanding how quality over quantity is better,” she says. Zamora appreciates what she does with her kids — not just how much time she spends with them.

Imani Razat has never been opposed to screen time. With a husband who is in technology and a son who is an animator, STEM enthusiast and a fan of the iPad, Razat has chosen to monitor screen time and balance it with other activities.

Pre-pandemic, she was weary of video games with a social component, due to safety and mental health concerns. “During the pandemic, as we shelter in place with our children, I’ve become more open to the idea of social gaming, with my son spending a little more time than usual playing Roblox or Minecraft along with friends and even with other kid gamers online that I don’t know,” Razat tells Woman’s Day.

She’s even found herself coordinating with other parents to get social gaming time in for their kids. They’ve had virtual Minecraft and Roblox play dates. Razat was worried about the social isolation that came with sheltering in place and she found herself promoting virtual interaction with other kids.

Alicia Hough used to be a big believer in imposing discipline at a young age. But the mom of two has loosened the reins quite a bit since the pandemic.

“What I learned is that such practice does not really give you the assurance that you have raised disciplined individuals,” Hough tells Woman’s Day. “Fear should not be the underlying factor of why they respect you, moreover should not be the reason why they will follow your orders.”

Hough, a corporate wellness expert with The Product Analyst, believes that being too strict can give kids the idea that they can’t be their true and best selves. As a parent, she’s taking the pressure off for her children so they don’t feel they have to meet unrealistic standards.

Since quarantine, Kendra Bruning, the founder of GameCows, came to the uncomfortable realization that her parenting style hasn’t been keeping up with her 12-year-old daughter Brianna. Although they have a good relationship, Bruning is truly starting to understand that Brianna is not a little girl anymore.

“Where I once felt like I was herding cats when getting her to do homework or wrestling with her to wash dishes, I now find her doing what she can to ease the stress of these turbulent times,” Bruning tells Woman’s Day. “She changes the diaper on our special needs dog, makes dinner when we’re overwhelmed with work, and tidies up behind us as we frantically try to keep our business and personal lives separate and organized.”

Bruning used to feel the need to micromanage everything that Brianna did, but she doesn’t need that now. And perhaps she never did!

“Once social distancing and the pandemic get less severe, I plan on allowing her more time alone with her friends," she says. "Instead of trying to control everything she does to ensure her safety, I've been sitting down with her to help her understand that she can come to me or her dad about any issue, no matter how serious, without the threat of being turned away or unreasonably disciplined.”

Although she’s the mom to a teenager, Dr. Stacy Haynes, Ed.D. LPC, was surprised to learn just how much her daughter still needs her. “My children and I are close but quarantine has shown me how much time both my children need from me—especially my daughter,” Haynes tells Woman’s Day.

“At 14, she still enjoys being tucked in each night and during quarantine this tradition has returned," she explained. "She wants to talk and share stories about her day more than ever (even with very little going on). She waits for me to finish my Zoom calls to hang out and watch a show or play a game.”

Haynes teases her daughter that they’ve become best friends during quarantine—and that’s a good place to be as a parent of a teenager.

At the beginning of the pandemic, Maryna Shkvorets, a public speaking and executive coach, felt like she was trying to balance work and parenting—and essentially feeling like she was failing at both. “When I was with the kids, I'd be annoyed by all the work things I'd still have to do, and when I'd carve away a few hours to work, I'd get frustrated if the kids ever needed extra attention,” Shkvorets tells Woman’s Day.

The past few months have forced her to reexamine how she interacts with her kids—and she made a conscious decision to do things differently. “I decided to only give undivided attention to my kids when I'm with them—be fully present to the good and the bad,” she says.

She trades blocks of time with her husband so that one person gets uninterrupted work time and one person is with the kids. “During my kids-time, we play, we talk, we run around, but I'm fully focused on them and not distracted or attempting to squeeze in a few texts or emails if I think I have a free hand,” she says.

Although she admits she’s looking forward to daycare once that becomes an option, she’s really grateful that she got the time to learn about her kids’ unique personalities during quarantine, and she got the lesson of being fully present with her kids.

In the first few weeks of the pandemic, Lauren Kleinman and her husband were taking shifts caring for their 2-year-old and 6-month-old while trying to successfully run their full-time businesses. They both realized that if they continued on that path, they’d have to choose between caring for their children full-time or giving up the businesses.

They decided to bring a nanny back into their home and continue focusing on their businesses. “Even with the incredible help we have that I am beyond grateful for, it’s still a massive challenge,” Kleinman of The Quality Edit tells Woman’s Day. “I try to develop consistent habits every day so our children know what to expect. Generally that means spending shared family time together in the morning, for breakfast and for lunch, but otherwise consistently working out of the office.”

And although her oldest generally understands that mom can’t play if she’s in the office, he still comes in at least once or twice a day with a pile of toys. “I try to just roll with the punches and if he starts playing with green goo on my desk while I’m pitching an important new client over Zoom, I just accept that everyone is going through this shared experience together and a lot more accepting of our individual home experiences,” she says.

With two toddlers, Nikki Cagle is definitely choosing her battles. “Frankly, I don’t have the bandwidth or energy to fight them like I used to,” Cagle tells Woman’s Day. “Before quarantine, I would think twice before handing over a tablet. I dressed them nice (and often matching) every day, and I would never cave for whining.” Now, she lets her kids use tablets, wear whatever outfits they want, and eat PB&J for lunch for the fifth day in a row.

Quarantine has helped Cagle, social media and managing editor of HealthCentral, slow down. “I have never sat and just — chilled — more in my life, especially never in motherhood,” she says. “It’s really helped me see that the kids don’t need grandiose activities and events. They’re perfectly happy playing in a kiddie pool outside, doing a puzzle on the floor, or cuddling up for the same movie on demand that we’ve already seen 17 times that month.”

When Christy Pambianchi’s daughter was about to start her senior year of high school in the middle of a pandemic, she needed an emotional boost. “Instead of letting sadness take hold and dwelling on what could have been, we decided to make our own magic in that moment and dyed my hair pink,” Pambianchi tells Woman’s Day.

The EVP and Chief Human Resources Officer at Verizon also wanted to show her employees that it’s OK to be a parent first, even if that meant dying your hair pink. “Even though my goal was to boost my daughter’s spirits, the act was just as uplifting for me, and it served as an important reminder that we can find joy anywhere, at any time,” she says.

She’s also encourages her employees to give themselves room for grace as they rewrite the playbook for work and for parenting.

One thing that John Crossman, CEO of Crossman Career Builders, wasn’t expecting, was a heightened awareness of his teenage daughters’ mental health needs. “Early on during Covid, we were very strict with them regarding social distancing,” Crossman tells Woman’s Day.

After the weeks and months went by, he started to see them develop some issues with depression and anxiety. “I am really proud of our daughters as they continue to be good self-advocates," he said. "They would express their feelings and we could see it in their behavior.”

They began finding ways to ways to connect with people and friends in safe ways, like taking Zoom classes and chatting with a counselor. Crossman has bent (or broken) several rules because of his concern for his daughter’s health, like being flexible with phone time. While he still limits the time, he has given them much more space to FaceTime with friends.

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