10 Things the Avengers Can Teach You About Looking Your Best
As a decade’s worth of Marvel Universe movies come to a close with the release of Avengers: Endgame, we’re all feeling a little nostalgic. We’ve grown up with these characters, seen their costumes change colors, followed them through increasingly complicated plots with blind trust. And there have been lots and lots of hair styles (I’m not just talking about Black Widow).
Maybe you’ve noticed that grooming plays a big part in the character development of the Avengers franchise. I sure have. So, in the spirit of looking back as we prepare to move forward, I watched all 60 hours of the Marvel cinematic universe to date (starting with 2008’s Iron Man) to bring you the most important grooming moments from the last ten years. At the very least, it will help you with your Captain America cosplay for that midnight screening.
10. Quicksilver’s Past-It’s-Prime Platinum Do (Avengers: Age of Ultron)
Pietro Maximoff may have been a flash in the pan character in the pantheon, but he left a lasting legacy when it comes to bold hair moves. As a nod to the original comics, the modern Quicksilver had a mane of platinum-dyed hair, but with dark roots that indicated a DIY job begging for a touch-up. He was way before his time on this current celebrity trend, but you’d think that someone who could move that fast could find a few minutes in his day to see his colorist to maintain it.
Get the Look: Gain superpowers from the stolen scepter of an Asgardian prince and use a purple shampoo to keep your hair silver instead of yellow.
9. Dr. Strange’s Grey Skunk Streaks (Doctor Strange)
Leave it to one of the most out-of-the-box superheroes in the franchise to have one of the most out-of-the-box hair styles. I mean, a superhero with grey hair? But after Dr. Stephen Strange was enlightened to the mystical secrets of the universe, his pronounced grey streaks serve as a reminder that this dude is wise as hell. Personally, I’m glad he kept the gray instead of shaving it all off like The Ancient One. Maybe this is where Schwarzenegger got the idea?
8. Captain America’s Pretty-Boy Upgrade (Captain America: The First Avenger)
From the moment pipsqueak Steve Rogers went into that sci-fi tanning bed and emerged superhuman hunk Steve Rogers, I’ve been trolling the internet to find one of them for home use. Like the rest of his body, his hair emerged more robust and full, while his skin gained a healthy color (and his jaw became something people write stories about). I’d venture to guess this one doesn’t give you skin cancer either.
Get the Look: Sign up for a secret government experiment and use a thickening serum to get your hair as thick as your new pecs.
7. Hawkeye’s Midlife Crisis Mohawk (Avengers: Endgame)
Where has Hawkeye been? It’s a question that’s been floating around the internet for years. Judging from his new mohawk, he’s come back to the team from the depths of a pretty intense midlife crisis. Perhaps he joined a boy band or became a Fitstagrammer. I need answers!
6. Michael B. Jordan’s The Weekend Hair (Black Panther)
When we first meet Black Panther main villain Erik Killmonger in that London museum, he seemed more like an influencer than a bad guy, with an on-trend Fear of God jacket and a The Weekend-esque hairstyle to match. He looked like the kind of cool-guy I’d be intimidated to talk to at a party (murderous tendencies or not). Which is exactly the point.
5. Groot’s Benjamin Button Syndrome (Guardians of the Galaxy)
At the end of Guardians of the Galaxy, when our favorite talking tree resurrects as a seedling, my first thought was, “now that is an anti-aging routine.” To start off the movie as a bark-skinned dude in desperate need of some moisturizer and end it with literal baby skin is something skincare obsessives like me only dream about. Eye cream is great, but I need to know what that plant is using.
4. Bucky Barnes’ I’m-A-Villain-Now Long Hair (Captain America: The Winter Soldier)
Finding out Bucky Barnes was alive was surprise enough, but finding out he grew out his hair? Shocking. The new do immediately conveyed that he was a bad guy, instead of the clean-cut best friend he was before and it worked (not even Steve Rogers recognized him at first!). The style looks damn cool though, which in my opinion is why he kept it even after he came back to the good side.
Get the Look: Become a super soldier, get a bionic arm, skip the barber for a few months, and use a grooming cream to manage the grow out phase.
3. Thor’s Edgy Makeover (Thor: Ragnarok)
An even more shocking haircut? When Thor got all his hair chopped off during his brief stint as an enslaved space gladiator. His Florian Montaneu-esque hair art is badass and all, but we (and he) weren’t ready for it. It might not have been as important plot-wise as when he lost that eye, but it was an important turning point for the character (and for Chris Hemsworth, who was clearly tired of wearing those terrible wigs). Maybe that’s why his “friend from work” didn’t recognize him at first?
Get the Look: Crash land on a planet ruled by blue-eyeliner king Jeff Goldblum, get your hair chopped off, and use a texture paste to keep it messy.
2. Captain America’s Sadness Beard (Avengers: Infinity War)
Growing a beard when you’re a little down in the dumps? We’ve all been there. Sometimes you’re so stressed or sad or bummed out and picking up a razor seems like a chore. But for clean-cut icon Captain America to show up with a beard? I audibly gasped. It signaled that the character was going through some sh*t, like we all do, and was evolving into something a little darker (even according to Chris Evans himself).
1. Tony Stark’s Batshit Geometric Facial Hair Designs (all the movies)
In the entire Marvel universe, no one is as fastidious about his grooming as Tony Stark. Every movie features some new angular facial hair design (Soul Patch! Chinstrap! Pointy Sideburns!) and I personally am dying to know if he does it himself or has a person for that. If you’re a genius billionaire moonlighting as a world-saving superhero, how much time can you realistically spend carefully trimming your beard into zig zags? It’s just one of the many questions I hope Endgame answers.
Get the Look: Unless you’re spending half of your time in a metal robot suit that covers your face, we’d say, don’t do it. But if you have facial hair, you definitely need a good trimmer.
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