10 Of The World’s Dumbest Criminals
A couple of selfie-loving thieves made headlines this week after photographing themselves stealing from gambling machines.
Benjamin Robinson, 30, and Daniel Hutchinson, 24, were dubbed “lemons” by the North Yorkshire Police and achieved internet notoriety.
Robinson was sentenced to 32 months in prison, while Hutchinson got a six-month sentence, suspended for two years.
Detective chief inspector Matt Walker said: “Ultimately their greed, arrogance and affinity for selfies proved to be their downfall.”
But the pair are not alone in their stupidity – here we look at some of the dumbest criminals in the world.
1. Facebook robber
The selfie-taking gambling-machine thieves are not the only criminal masterminds thwarted by social media. Andrew Hennells, 31, was given a four-year jail sentence after declaring on Facebook that he was “doing. Tesco. Over.”
That didn’t mean taking advantage of buy-one-get-one-free deals, but rather robbing the place at knife-point for £420. Hennells, in fairness, at first evaded capture, making off with the cash before police arrived. They caught him shortly after… in the pub.
Derrick Mosley
2. Always outgunned
There’s a reason you don’t hear about people robbing gun stores. That apparently didn’t occur to Derrick Mosley, above, who decided to cause a huge scene by smashing a window, entering the shop and trying to nick a firearm.
Of course, the reason Mosley needed to steal a firearm was because he didn’t have one. Armed with just a baseball bat, he soon found himself staring down the barrel of the owner’s gun in what is perhaps the most predictable outcome to a story ever.
Fortunately, no one was hurt and the police were called.
Matthew Allan McNelly and Joey Lee Miller (AP)
3. Mark of stupidity
Matthew McNelly and Joey Miller, two hapless American burglars, decided to disguise themselves before attempting to break into an apartment by scrawling impressively rubbish masks onto their own faces.
However, having used permanent marker – the clues in the name, boys – they weren’t able to remove it and were pulled over by police shortly after, matching a witness’s description. The pair, 23 and 20 at the time, were dubbed “dumb and dumber” by the media.
4. One million dollar note
What would you buy with a million dollars? For Michael Anthony Fuller, a 53-year-old North Carolina man, the answer was a vacuum cleaner, microwave and various other household goods from Walmart.
Casually strolling up the counter, he presented a million dollar note to buy $476 worth of items. The cashier, of course, dismissed the money as fake – presumably expecting this to be some sort of prank. It wasn’t and Fuller stood firm, insisting it was real. He was arrested shortly after.
Dion Davis asleep at the crime scene (Sarasota County Sheriff’s Office)
5. Sleeping on the job
There are any number of burglars who have been caught after nodding off while in the middle of a raid, so it’s hard to pick who is quite the ‘dumbest’.
But Dion Davis, above, perhaps takes the prize – considering he helped give the world this magnificent photograph. Not only is that him asleep on someone else’s bed, in the house he broke into, that’s a big bag of nicked jewellery beside him.
“He was passed out with a bag full of stolen jewellery next to him on the bed and didn’t even notice the deputies taking pictures,” a police spokesman said.
Mohammad Ashan thought he was on to a winner
6. Just rewards
Mohammad Ashan, a Taliban commander, thought he was in line for an easy win when he noticed himself on a ‘most wanted’ poster which carried a $100 reward. Turning up to a police checkpoint, he pointed out his likeness and asked for the money – only to be promptly arrested.
Mostly people were baffled by his strange behaviour, but a US official summed the situation up succinctly when he told journalists: “Clearly, this man is an imbecile.”
Felipe Cruz attempted to rob a Chase bank (WikiCommons)
7. Return to sender
When Felipe Cruz of Pompano Beach, Florida, attempted to rob a bank he made two quite ridiculous mistakes. The first of these was forgetting that the teller was behind bulletproof glass – so despite him handing her a note demanding wads of cash, she simply sat back and ignored him.
Cruz lost his nerve and fled, his tail between his legs. After he’d gone, however, the teller noticed that the note had been written on the back of a job application – with all his details on. The FBI quippedL “By trying to rob a bank with a demand note written on the back of his employment search form, the robber has given us a clue. He probably should have continued looking for honest work.”
8. The writing’s on the wall
“Peter Addison was here!” is the message this genius left behind at the scene of a crime. The 18-year-old burglar, who vandalised a children’s campsite building in Stockport, was unsurprisingly caught after he left this rather helpful clue.
Inspector Gareth Woods, of Cheshire Police, said: “This crime is up there with the dumbest of all in the criminal league table. There are some pretty stupid criminals around, but to leave your own name at the scene of the crime takes the biscuit. The daftness of this lad certainly made our job a lot easier.”
Claud Gipson-Reynolds got his stolen firetruck stuck in the mud (Thinkstock)
9. Call for help
A drunk man in California stole a fire truck from the station then used its radio to call for a tow truck after he ran it off the road – and got it stuck in the mud.
The assailant, Claud Gipson-Reynolds, was, of course, arrested shortly after. In his defence, he did see the error of his ways: "I could probably get on that show, World’s Dumbest Criminals,“ he said. "I was pretty intoxicated at the time. My thinking was not the best.”
The man attempted to rob a bank (Thinkstock)
10. Blind criminality
A man was dubbed ‘Germany’s dumbest criminal’ back in 2002 after he attempted to rob a bank in a mask he couldn’t see out of it.
The criminal, who was not named and was later sentenced to four years in prison, entered the bank with a canvas sack on his head. He proceeded to bump into customers while brandishing a plastic knife and toy gun. He had to lift the sack to demand money – showing his face. He was later identified.
