35 Tweets That Sum Up Life With 7-Year-Olds

I’m in season 14 episode 6 of my 7-year-old’s story.

— Jessie (@mommajessiec) December 11, 2019

My 7yo sure says “I’m not lying!” a lot for someone who is usually lying.

— Dad and Buried (@DadandBuried) August 13, 2018

Somewhere between asking me to make mac n cheese and me serving it, 7yo decided he didn’t like cheese anymore

— MumInBits (@MumInBits) April 15, 2019

My favorite part of going to the bathroom are the little notes my 7yo slides under the door saying "we are hungry"

— Marcy G 🍕 (@BunAndLeggings) June 23, 2019

Me: Ready for school?

7yo: [in only underwear with pants tied around his neck like a scarf & a sock on each hand] Almost

— Valerie (@ValeeGrrl) January 10, 2017

7-year-old: What can I have for a snack?

Me: Any fruit.

7: Strawberry ice cream.

Me: Try again.

7: A banana split.

— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) January 7, 2020

“I. AM. NOT. BEING. DRAMATIC!”

- my super zen 7-year-old slamming her door

— Ramblin Mama (@ramblinma) December 10, 2019

My 7-year-old told me she wants a pet chinchilada. Do I find this at the pet store or a Mexican restaurant?

— Jessie (@mommajessiec) November 26, 2019

7yo just discovered Beyonce's album on her iPod also includes the movie.
She gasped,

"I can watch this when I poop!"

— kelly oxford (@kellyoxford) June 28, 2016

My 7yo's toothbrush has a suction cup on the bottom, so she stuck it on the tile wall and tried brushing hands-free. *Wipes tear of pride*

— SpacedMom (@copymama) September 10, 2017

7yo: *visiting me in the hospital* Do you have any snacks?

— Heather 🦈 doo do doo do doo do doo do (@dishs_up) April 20, 2019

7yo made a weird oregami dinosaur and I told him I loved it and now my bedroom is filled with 18,000 weird oregami dinosaurs

— MumInBits (@MumInBits) May 23, 2019

My son asked my 7yo how she would survive a bear attack and she replied she would try to be his friend, thus making her the most adorable of my children but also the least likely to survive an encounter with an actual bear.

— Jessie (@mommajessiec) September 24, 2019

[laser sounds]

[dinosaur sounds]

[enraged death screech]

Me: What were you doing?

7-year-old: Taking a bath.

— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) January 4, 2020

Being a parent teaches you a lot about yourself. For instance, this morning my 7yo told me that I’m not as funny as I think I am.

— Lurkin' Mom (@LurkAtHomeMom) May 7, 2018

Me: u won’t know how to ride a bike right away. Takes practice
7yo: ok
Me: took me many tries.
7yo: can I try now?
Me: be patient
7yo: Mama, can I try PLEASE
Me: be prepared to eat it
7yo: 🙄🙄 *gets on bike* *rides away*
Me: ...
7yo: *yells* u were not as smart as me maybe

— Sabaa Tahir (@sabaatahir) March 18, 2019

7yo: Daddy, I can't find my stuffed animal
Me: Here it is
7yo: How did you find it?
Me: I looked
7yo:

— Robert Knop (@FatherWithTwins) August 16, 2017

7yo: Is “tickling your fancy” like when you tickle a rich person?

I don’t know about you, but this is why I had kids.

— SpacedMom (@copymama) August 22, 2017

I just groaned in frustration and my 7yo said “Yeah, I feel ya” without looking up from Minecraft

— AsKateWouldHaveIt (@KateWouldHaveIt) January 6, 2019

Me: “Guys, we are leaving in 5 minutes.”

7yo: “Do I need to wear shoes?”

Me: “Yes.”

[4 minutes later]

7yo: “What about pants?”

— Jessie (@mommajessiec) April 6, 2018

7yo: I'm writing a poem. What rhymes with 'love' and has to do with Thanksgiving?
Me: You know what's awesome? STEM careers.

— Nicole Chung (@nicolesjchung) November 3, 2015

7yo: I am so excited about sleeping in tomorrow.
Me: Me too!
7yo: I think I'll probably sleep until SEVEN!
Me: *sobs quietly

— Sarah del Rio (@sarahdelri0) September 4, 2015

7yo was doing parkour over the furniture when he slammed into a door, got his jeans caught on the handle and was kind of dangling upside down and I don’t know if that’s all part of parkour but I clapped anyway

— MumInBits (@MumInBits) May 6, 2019

My 7yo threw a Mother's Day card in my face while I was sleeping, and yelled "happy Mother's Day!" If that doesn't say motherhood I don't know what does. It was a shitty card too, but I loved it.

— Marcy G 🍕 (@BunAndLeggings) May 12, 2019

Wife: “Do NOT lick the dog!”
7yo: “But he licked ME!”

— ReasonsMySonIsCrying (@ReasonsMySonCry) April 21, 2019

Does laying in bed with my eyes shut make me look like I want to search my house for a 1/4" Pokemon figurine bc apparently my 7yo thinks so

— Lurkin' Mom (@LurkAtHomeMom) August 18, 2017

My 7yo just asked me if people are “made out of meat.” Like, can we just have an uncomfortable sex talk like everyone else?

— Emily McCombs (@msemilymccombs) April 14, 2019

My new favorite thing is to say pokemon names wrong and annoy my 7yo.

Me: Pokachu!
7yo: PIKACHU! Geez mom!!

— Marcy G 🍕 (@BunAndLeggings) February 11, 2019

7-year-old: I'm too tired for this.

Me: For what?

7: *motions vaguely at the world*

— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) December 6, 2019

7yo: Mom, can you pick out my outfit?

Me: OK

7: It has to be purple.

Me: OK

7: And a dress.

Me: OK

7: And have cats riding shooting stars with blue sequins and say sparkle.

Me: *brings her dress*

7: No, not that one.

— Jessie (@mommajessiec) March 30, 2019

My 7yo said if she ever gets married she wants to have a pajama-themed wedding, and I feel like my parenting has come to fruition.

— SpacedMom (@copymama) June 11, 2017

7yo and his friends have formed a band and as I watch those kids trying to create music together I search for words of encouragement but honestly they’re shit and I just want the noise to stop

— MumInBits (@MumInBits) April 26, 2019

Just discovered my 7yo wearing his underwear backwards again. Playing classical music while pregnant is bullshit.

— Minivan (@my_minivan_life) January 20, 2013

If you have any problems falling asleep, just have a 7yo explain to you what happened in a movie they saw.

— Ann (@writerPT) August 11, 2013

7-year-old: I'm tired.

Me: Maybe you should go to bed earlier.

7: Maybe today should be canceled.

— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) January 10, 2020