55 Funny And Relatable Tweets About Peloton

When the Peloton instructors bite their bottom lip during a ride, they look casually sexy. When I do it, I look like I’ve just gotten a mouthful of bad yogurt.

— Jelisa Castrodale (@gordonshumway) January 3, 2021

Sometimes I think the Peloton Bike Girl looked the way she did because she saw into the future, glimpsed 2020 and was just trying to pretend like everything was okay.

— Natasha Rothwell (@natasharothwell) November 5, 2020

Should I buy a Peloton bike or 832 more boxes of Cheez-Its?

— Randy Rainbow (@RandyRainbow) April 19, 2020

Peloton is legally required to repossess your bike if at least one wall of your house isn’t entirely windows

— jon drake (@DrakeGatsby) December 4, 2019

my husband is literally so funny i asked him if we should get a peloton and he said “how much is it? $100?” 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

— fuck the police (@_gumshudaa) November 12, 2020

“Peloton!! Moderna!! It’s suppertime!!!” - me in 2034 calling my children in for suppertime

— julia shiplett (@juliashiplett) December 14, 2020

In-law: “Are you seeing a therapist yet?”
Me: Yes. His name is Cody Rigsby.
In-Law: “...Isn’t that a Peloton instructor?”
Me: Yeah, so?

— Faux Ma (@Faux_Ma) August 29, 2020

The thing about cycling with Peloton is that every instructor is trying to seduce me, specifically

— Savannah Kopp (@CoucouSavannah) January 4, 2021

[doing a Christmas ride on Peloton. “Hallelujah” starts playing]

Me: hm this isn’t a Christmas song

Instructor: there might be some empty chairs this Christmas...

Me: wait what

Her: so let’s do a climb to honour them

Me: oh hell no

— John Cullen (@cullenthecomic) December 17, 2020

peloton bike this peloton bike that.. don't you think it's pelatime to go outside

— nicole boyce (@nicolewboyce) December 30, 2020

A workplace dramedy about Peloton instructors/the employees around them.

Mail me my Emmy now.

— Danielle Kurtzleben (@titonka) December 30, 2020

why does this peloton trainer keep calling us baby

— K. Petrin (@kmaepetrin) December 29, 2020

The thing I can’t stand about peloton is im on my bike dying at 55 resistance and Cody is at 86 monologuing and doing the Macarena 😰

— Jessica Kirkland (@jkirk___) January 2, 2021

Me: "I think I want one of those Peloton bikes."

Translation: "I think I need a new place to hang all my clothes."

— Stay at Homies (@stayathomies) January 4, 2021

I feel like there would be a market for gamification of exercise equipment. Like Mario Kart Peloton.

— Arjun Raj (@arjunrajlab) January 2, 2021

just cried on a peloton & i must say that i highly recommend it

— keely flaherty (@keelyflaherty) January 22, 2020

The most exercise I've gotten lately is couch dancing when Countdown plays during those peloton commercials

— Meredith (@MeredithEO) December 29, 2020

had to stop pedaling to belly laugh at the peloton instructor saying “self care doesn’t mean buying things” while teaching a class to a bunch of people sitting on expensive stationary bikes they probably purchased for themselves

— maya kosoff (@mekosoff) January 4, 2021

peloton using a beyoncé song in their commercial feels likes a direct attack. leave me ALONE devil bike

— Matt Bellassai (@MattBellassai) January 2, 2021

A Peloton bike is like a really fancy version of a hamster wheel for quarantined soccer moms.

— Faux Ma (@Faux_Ma) July 8, 2020

my mum literally talks about the Peloton instructors as if she knows they personally
“Leanne & me had a great class together tonight, I’ll see her tomorrow for the Beatles ride”
okay mum

— Emma Savage (@emma_roseexo) January 2, 2021

I think I figured out why the peloton wife had that look on her face. It was because she couldn’t unclip herself from the bike after her first ride. pic.twitter.com/XYR8rnQAaH

— Franita Tolson (is Accident Prone) 💕💚 (@ProfTolson) December 28, 2020

I assume a Peloton is like $10,000
so every time a person I know buys one I’m like holy shit is everyone a millionaire?! I will not look up the actual price

— amil (@amil) December 27, 2020

a Peloton bike but its just women being encouraging as I struggle through life

— Jennifer McAuliffe (@JenniferJokes) April 16, 2019

I’ve never been part of a cult but I do own a @onepeloton, so same.

— Rachel Sobel (@whinecheezits) October 28, 2020

You know how in 90s romcoms they always showed how a woman was frustrated and addicted to work because she had an exercise bike in her office? I want to order a peloton for my office/room

— Bolu Babalola (@BeeBabs) May 2, 2020

*me waiting for the peloton bikes to start popping up on Craigslist* pic.twitter.com/f4BjaCAuCc

— Justine Sanders (@JustineAnnSand) January 1, 2021

May I enter 2021 with the energy of a Peloton instructor grooving alone in a room to a song that plays during every one of their classes.

— Robin Runyan (@RobinRunyan8) December 30, 2020

Rudolph leading the sleigh after doing a line with Dasher and Dancer in the stables pic.twitter.com/fCw9dvx0lm

— reid (@thereidfeed) December 20, 2020

How do Peloton instructors talk through an entire ride? 5 mins in and I need an oxygen tank and a trip to the hospital

— Emma Duchesneau (@EmmaDuchesneau) December 29, 2020

I regret to inform everybody that I now have a peloton, and as I’m obligated to talk about that 24/7, that is all I’m allowed to tweet about now.

— Unprotected_Sox (@SoxUnprotected) January 4, 2021

Dear Diary, how many more friends must I lose to the Cult of Peloton, oops hang tight Diary, your girl got a glob of French onion dip on her pen

— Emily Andras (@emtothea) January 3, 2021

Ugh I wish there was a way to ride my Peloton outside.

— 𝖠𝖺𝗋𝗈𝗇 𝖶𝗂𝖾𝗇𝖾𝗋 (@Wieneraaron) December 28, 2020

I bet that lady is pretty psyched about having a Peloton now

— Ben Terris (@bterris) March 12, 2020

peloton shoes are so hard to unclip that even silver fox anderson cooper leaves them hanging for dear life #relatable pic.twitter.com/oqIfRTV2Qb

— Natt การุณรังษีวงศ์ (@nattgarun) June 22, 2020

peloton got the last laugh.

— king crissle (@crissles) May 4, 2020

I’m sorry, Peloton, but if I’m paying $40 a month to ride my $2000 exercise bike it had better come with an attendant who can pick my wedgie every ten minutes.

— Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) February 3, 2020

Me, “I want a Peloton bike.”
Husband, “We have a bike you don’t ride.”
Me, “But this one makes you and I predict I will ride it if I buy one.”
H, “You bought the other one you don’t ride.”
Me, “I AM BUYING A PELOTON.”
H...
Me...
H, “I’ve always wanted one of those.”

— Lady Lawya (@Parkerlawyer) January 16, 2019

You should do a core workout, they said. It will be fun, they said.

Me after doing my first 20 minute Peloton core workout today... pic.twitter.com/zGgyQPzL7C

— JJ (@KingslayerTX) January 3, 2021

I have something to get off my chest.

I tried a Peloton and I loved it.

— Gena-mour Barrett (@SmileGena) February 5, 2020

goddamnit stop making me want a peloton!!!! sitting on a bike for 45 min a day while the seat pokes my vagina is not my brand!!!!

— Lara Parker (@laraeparker) January 3, 2021

The original Peloton bike: pic.twitter.com/BRr4yEFaQN

— Gennefer WEAR A MASK Gross (@Gennefer) April 24, 2020

Just finished my first peleton bike ride and finished 40,000th place out of 80,000 riders smh....I’m mentally F’d right now! Lol

— Jerraud Powers (@JPowers25) December 23, 2020

WHO WILL BE THE FIRST PRESIDENT TO PUT A PELOTON IN THE OVAL OFFICE?!?!?

— Sofiya Alexandra (@TheSofiya) December 7, 2019

is sam yo your fave peloton cycling guy or do you like to feel bad

— Bim Adewunmi (@bimadew) November 23, 2020

How many east facing windows must I have before I’m allowed to buy a Peloton?

— Laurie Kilmartin (@anylaurie16) January 5, 2019

I’d buy one of those Peloton things if it made tater tots

— Bart (@bartandsoul) July 14, 2019

If my husband bought me a Peleton, I'd spend a year making selfie videos of me drying my bras on it.

— Elizabeth Hackett (@LizHackett) December 3, 2019

Why get a Peloton bike when I can spend all day rapid cycling through the five stages of grief for free?? pic.twitter.com/yXD4GLSy30

— Morgan Murphy (@morgan_murphy) March 21, 2020

Torn between getting a Peloton machine or saving some money and just getting a new body.

— mark (@TheCatWhisprer) February 5, 2019

Does Peloton make a recliner?

— Steve Olivas (@steveolivas) December 4, 2019

Forget a peloton this holiday season get the ladies something they really want: a fucking void to fucking scream into until they lose fucking consciousness. And some warm socks

— Amanda Deibert🏳️‍🌈 (@amandadeibert) December 16, 2020

Love putting my Peloton bike in the most striking area of my ultra-modern $3 million house

— Clue Heywood (@ClueHeywood) January 28, 2019

About to do a 45 minute Peloton ride featuring only Red Hot Chili Peppers music so cool how people always find ways to make exercise worse.

— Julia Segal (@juliasegal) July 28, 2019

My biggest accomplishment of 2020 is getting a @onepeloton and not mentioning it here even once.

— meghna shah (@meghna71) December 31, 2020