On Monday night, Jimmy Kimmel said he had obtained an advance clip from “Spider-Man: Far From Home,” which is coming to theaters next month.
Of course it was a gag.
But the joke scene with “Spider-Man” star Tom Holland did attempt to answer one critical question many people have asked about the superhero lifestyle.
Check it out above.
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Kraven the Hunter
Kraven the Hunter is a big-game hunter whose only goal in life is to take down Spider-Man. In a story called “Kraven’s Last Hunt” he committed suicide because he realized he couldn’t defeat Spidey. Look at this guy: he only wears one outfit, and that outfit is a pair of leopard-spotted leggings and the hide of a lion. Kraven may not be an A-list villain, but he’s got style.
Mysterio
Mysterio is a former stuntman and special effects designer, who tries to defeat Spider-Man while wearing a cape and a giant fishbowl on his head. His best storyline is in Kevin Smith’s Guardian Devil, where he decided that since he could never defeat Spider-Man, he would turn his attention to Daredevil because sure, why not? His grand plan to defeat Daredevil was to make him go crazy by orchestrating an elaborate hoax involving a fake baby Antichrist. Daredevil basically calls him an unoriginal loser, and Mysterio, like Kraven, commits suicide.
Stilt-Man/Lady Stilt-Man
Stilt-Man’s gimmick is, predictably, standing on giant metal stilts. He’s primarily a Daredevil villain (seeing a pattern here?), but he’s fought Spider-Man before. Spider-Man also fought Lady Stilt-Man and spent the whole time making fun of her name (“It’s an homage!”) until she was defeated by stepping in an open manhole.
Batroc the Leaper
Batroc is usually a Captain America villain, but Spider-Man’s fought him before and I will take any opportunity to talk about Batroc the Leaper. He’s an intensely French stereotype who is a master of the art of savate, which involves a lot of kicking. Batroc cannot be described in mere words, so here he is fighting the Avengers.
The Hypno-Hustler
Hypno-Hustler and his band, The Mercy Killers, have the power of – obviously – hypnosis, and use it to put their audiences in a trance and then steal from them. They’re sort of like the villain equivalent of Dazzler. Thankfully, Hypno-Hustler is now reformed, so the citizens of the Marvel Universe can rest easy. Someone needs to make a tribute band of music-themed villains. They could have this guy, Dazzler, and the Mad Violinist.
The Shocker
Shocker has a pair of gauntlets that allow him to throw long-distance vibrational punches, but who cares about that when the potential for jokes about his name is endless. He also has the least villainous name of all time: Herman Schultz.
Stegron
Vincent Stegron injected himself with dinosaur DNA to become Stegron, a dinosaur creature bent on reclaiming the earth for the dinosaurs. Later, he exiled himself to the Arctic Circle, sort of like the Marvel version of Frankenstein’s monster, where he found a rock with de-evolving powers. He got his friend to put it on display in the Museum of Natural History in the hopes that it would devolve the residents of New York City into dinosaur creatures like himself. It seems like villains would have it a lot easier if they had less lofty goals.
Tatterdemalion
Arnold Paffenroth is a tap dancer turned actor turned businessman, which sounds like the premise of a great reality show. He lost all his money to mobsters and turned into an insane homeless man, which also sounds like the premise of a great reality show. He gave himself the name “Tatterdemalion” – which roughly means “ragamuffin” – and started attacking the wealthy. But he didn’t want to steal from them, oh no. He just wanted to destroy their money, and he created a special pair of gloves to help him do this. His Wikipedia entry puts it best: “His appearance…suggested that he was homeless, and he was apparently insane, which presumably explains why he would want to destroy currency.”
White Rabbit
Lorina Dodson was married off to an elderly man while she was still in her 20s, which caused her to snap and kill her husband. Naturally, she then decided to acquire a giant robot rabbit and an umbrella that shoots explosive carrots, and start robbing fast food restaurants. But her adventures don’t stop there. She was later banished to the Savage Land, where she became the queen of a cannibal tribe after saving a goat.
Freak
Freak is a drug addict who tried to steal from the poor at a soup kitchen, because the best people to steal from are those who have less than you. He then stumbled into a lab and injected himself with animal gene fluids under the assumption that they were crystal meth. Instead of getting high, he kept mutating into different monsters. This is what happens when you do drugs, kids.
Affluent Americans may want to double-check how much of their bank deposits are protected by government-backed insurance. The rules governing trust accounts just changed.
Former NBA guard Darius Morris has died at the age of 33. He played for five teams during his four NBA seasons. Morris played college basketball at Michigan.
Teams have made their big splashes in free agency and made their draft picks, it's time for you to do the same. It's fantasy football mock draft time. Some call this time of year best ball season, others know it's an opportunity to get a leg up on your competition for when you have to draft in August. The staff at Yahoo Fantasy did their first mock draft of the 2024 season to help you with the latter. Matt Harmon and Andy Behrens are here to break it all down by each round and crush some staff members in the process.
With free agency and the draft behind us, what 32 teams look like today will likely be what they look like Week 1 and beyond for the 2024 season. Matt Harmon and Scott Pianowski reveal the post-draft fantasy power rankings. The duo break down the rankings in six tiers: Elite offensive ecosystems, teams on the cusp of being complete mixed bag ecosystems, offensive ecosystems with something to prove, offenses that could go either way, and offenses that are best to stay away from in fantasy.
It’s key to note that we’re not saying the “best team” or “best roster.” Instead, we’re talking about the best confluence of factors that can outline a path for survival and then success.
