The Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week
Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. So, each week we round up the most hilarious 280-character quips from moms and dads to spread the joy.
Scroll down to read the latest batch and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more!
SUMMER BREAK WEEK 1
Kid: Can I have a popsicle for breakfast?
Me: No, absolutely not.
SUMMER BREAK WEEK 2
Kid: Can I have a popsicle for breakfast?
Me: After you eat your real breakfast.
SUMMER BREAK WEEK 3
Kid: What’s for breakfast?
Me: Popsicles.— Jessie (@mommajessiec) June 5, 2019
We have cooking shows withs kids cooking but not with kids judging. I would love to watch a kid tell an iron chef that his duck confit is “yucky” and “smells like a barf bucket” then demand a hot dog
— The Dad (@thedad) June 3, 2019
Parenting is 25% talking about poop and 75% yelling about shoes
— Healthy Living for Hot Messes (@HLFHM) June 5, 2019
No one is as glued to any piece of reading material as a parent counting down the songs in the program of a really boring school concert.
— SpacedMom (@copymama) June 6, 2019
New evidence clears my children of all wrongdoing in the Thin Mint disappearance and focuses the investigation on their mother.
— Nathan Gregory (@MrGirlDad) June 6, 2019
People coming over.
Me: *tidies up*
Husband: *fires up the bbq*
Toddler: *removes all clothing*— Manic Mama (@JannaKilimnik) June 7, 2019
Me: “Wow, I LOVE the way the neighbors trimmed their hedges; we should try that!”
13y.o *long pause*: “Being an adult sounds so sad sometimes.”— Stephanie Ortiz (@Six_Pack_Mom) June 2, 2019
7-year-old: Can I play with my birthday presents?
Me: After your party is over.
7: Everybody needs to go home now.— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) June 1, 2019
Me: I want to tape this show.
Kids: Tape it?
Me: It’s short for videotape.
Kids: Videotape?
Me: Yeah so a long time ago to record something you-
Kids: You put tape on it?
Me: Ok see so this is why no one likes your generation.— Rodney Lacroix (@moooooog35) June 7, 2019
My daughter has been asking for more independence lately, so this morning I took her out for breakfast and asked for separate checks.
— Mommy Owl (@Lhlodder) June 5, 2019
Took our kids to a restaurant so they could drop some crayons under the table.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) June 2, 2019
One night before bed my kid asked me to sing a new song, but the only one I could think of at the time was the fresh prince of bel air theme.
This is how millennial lullabies are born.— WTFDAD (@daddydoubts) June 6, 2019
My kids said they wanted to try something new this summer so I showed them how to vacuum & do laundry.
— Sarcastic Mommy (@sarcasticmommy4) June 4, 2019
I walk into every Chuck E. Cheese prepared to die.
— mark (@TheCatWhisprer) June 6, 2019
Sometimes I put my 11yo’s undershirts in my husband’s drawer just to watch him panic for a second.
— Sara Says Stop (@PetrickSara) June 6, 2019
Whenever I am at an event where there's food and someone says, "Look at all these extras. Here, take them home for your kids," I always do, and I never give them to my kids.
— Abe Yospe (@Cheeseboy22) June 4, 2019
Just walked by my 4yo & she whispered “Cheez-Its are life.”
Amen, baby girl. Amen.— Unfiltered Mama (@UnfilteredMama) June 6, 2019
Am I proud of myself for letting my kids wake up, play video games, and watch YouTube for 5 hours every summer morning? No.
But am I going to get out of bed and organize activities so they can have fun experiences and we can spend time quality time together as a family? Also no.— Dad and Buried (@DadandBuried) June 6, 2019
“Watch out, hoes!” my two year old bellowed to me and her grandma as we walked around outside.
She meant watch out for the holes.
Or did she.— Marissa 🏳️🌈 (@natsmama75) June 6, 2019
Maybe if my kids threw in a "Good Morning!" or "Hi, Mom," before jarring me awake with super important questions like, "WHAT'S THE NAME OF BAD SPIDERMAN?!" I wouldn't be so cranky*
*I would still be some cranky, but maybe less cranky.— Becky Crossfeld (@beckycrossfeld) June 7, 2019
The Purge, but just for parents whose kids skipped their naps.
— Daddy’s Digest (@daddysdigest) June 6, 2019
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This article originally appeared on HuffPost.