Wellness enthusiasts flock to the supermarket chain for its promise of fresh, organic produce and healthier packaged food options. Others simply like to splurge on high-priced guacamole and hummus on occasion.
Whole Foods has come under fire for its prices (hence the “Whole Paycheck” nickname) and has recently lost favor with some shoppers following Amazon’s $13.7 billion acquisition.
Whatever camp you fall into, you have to admit this particular grocery store offers endless opportunities for humor. Here are 43 funny tweets for those who love to hate and hate to love Whole Foods.
It's West Side Story in the Whole Foods parking lot as two dads in cargo shorts fight over a parking spot, brandishing Audi flip keys like switchblades.
— Elizabeth Hackett (@LizHackett) April 21, 2018
OH on Whole Foods checkout line, woman yelling at husband: "Does it spark joy?! Does. It. Spark. Joy?! No it doesn't."
— Erin Biba (@erinbiba) February 5, 2019
Just told a guy who cut me off in the Whole Foods parking lot to eat a bag of dicks but then thought better of it and added THEY'RE ORGANIC
— The Volatile Mermaid (@OhNoSheTwitnt) March 10, 2015
This woman at Whole Foods is choosing a bundle of asparagus more carefully than I chose my husband.
— shauna (@goldengateblond) November 20, 2014
I'm here for a good time not a long time, ma'am... and also this thyme.
*holding up the line at Whole Foods
— JEFF WILD (@jiffywild) April 13, 2018
I just used Trader Joe’s bags at Whole Foods 365 and only apologized to the cashier ONCE pic.twitter.com/ASAjEQgS2m
— Jenny Jaffe (@jennyjaffe) February 6, 2018
i just remembered the time i was at Whole Foods and a girl took a “broken, do not use” sign off the door a took a selfie with it over her heart and then dropped the sign and walked directly into the broken doors
— elijah daniel (@elijahdaniel) February 16, 2019
Amazon is buying Whole Foods for 13.7 billion dollars. And that's just the price of the apples!
— Aparna Nancherla (@aparnapkin) June 16, 2017
Me: do you sell half roast chickens?
Whole Foods cashier: yes
Me: well what the fuck
— David Hughes (@david8hughes) August 26, 2018
If all the gluten-free vegan yoga weirdo customers at Whole Foods are so healthy, then why are they so fucking angry?
— Andy Richter (@AndyRichter) March 20, 2015
carry yourself with the confidence of a white dude with 16 items in his cart while standing in the "10 items of less" line at Whole Foods
— Taylor Trudon (@taylortrudon) January 18, 2019
We bought condensed milk at Whole Foods and it looks like the fake food that my kid has in his play kitchen. 😂 pic.twitter.com/ta7718Q7qb
— Celeste Ng (@pronounced_ing) November 21, 2018
I'm wandering around Whole Foods like tom hanks in The Terminal
— Mindy Kaling (@mindykaling) March 10, 2015
impossible to express how calm i become upon entering a whole foods
— Catherine Cohen (@catccohen) February 21, 2019
going to cash in my 401k so I can start shopping at Whole Foods
— Mary Charlene (@IamEnidColeslaw) November 2, 2012
"In which aisle can I find the nunchucks?"
"Ma'am, this is a Whole Foods"
"Sorry, in which aisle can I find the gluten free nunchucks?"
— dream ghoul (@TheDreamGhoul) January 16, 2015
I just went to Whole Foods and asked for a rec for a good cheddar for mac and cheese, and the employee directed me to a $42.16 block of cheddar. I'm trying to figure out whom I should sue.
— Akilah Green (@akilahgreen) November 18, 2018
robbers stole $60,000 from a NYC Whole Foods. police don't know if the bag of apples and loaf of bread will ever be recovered.
— lawblob (@lawblob) October 22, 2013
just saw a whole foods commercial where the customer calls the butcher a “meat santa” everything is shit go hug your kids before it’s too late.
— kim beans (@KimmyMonte) December 5, 2018
lol why r u trolling me whole foods pic.twitter.com/5cpsCDRMj2
— Taylor Trudon (@taylortrudon) July 30, 2018
Omg so embarrassing. So I go shopping at Whole Foods and get all the way to the register only to realize I forgot I don't have a trust fund.
— Lurkin' Mom (@LurkAtHomeMom) September 23, 2016
IS THIS A GAY BAR? DID YOU BRING ME TO A GAY BAR, SON?
This is whole foods, Dad.
— Reverend Scott (@Reverend_Scott) February 7, 2015
I'd trade it all in for the balls-out confidence of the 7-year-old screaming "NO I NEED RANCH DRESSING" at the Whole Foods sandwich counter.
— Elizabeth Hackett (@LizHackett) August 25, 2014
Whole Foods added a 10 items or less checkout line as if anyone can afford to buy more than 10 items at a Whole Foods.
— Mikey (@KrunkedRobot) January 21, 2016
THE WORST: I just spent $30 on apples at Whole Foods and then dropped both of them!
— Megan Amram (@meganamram) February 21, 2012
ME [screaming, hysterically breaking jars of pickle spears]: THESE FOODS AREN'T WHOLE!
— rachelle mandik 🎈 (@rachelle_mandik) September 24, 2015
For 150 bucks, you can either buy some veggies and a bottle of wine at Whole Foods or furnish an entire city at IKEA.
— Kendra Alvey (@Kendragarden) June 28, 2014
It's impossible for me to get into Whole Foods because of COURSE I care about the whales where do I sign?
— Kristen Bell (@IMKristenBell) August 28, 2015
Amazing - overheard at Whole Foods. "Um, I need to read the numbers on the barcode aloud to you. I don't want any lasers touching my food."
— Lauren Dobson-Hughes (@ldobsonhughes) August 7, 2015
me, eating every. last. bit. of this oxidised guacamole i bought in whole foods because that shit was priced like it was saffron pic.twitter.com/qY6uyHnWwg
— Bim Adewunmi (@bimadew) May 14, 2018
I threw my kids' McDonald's trash away at a Whole Foods and 2 yoga models fainted, a hemp bro started crying and now they don't let any dads without reclaimed bamboo capris shop there anymore. 🙁
— Shane Nickerson (@shanenickerson) April 29, 2018
I just bought 1 lb of taboulé at Whole Foods and long story short I need to learn how to make taboulé.
— Laurie Kilmartin (@anylaurie16) October 23, 2018
I like to go to Whole Foods, put organic stickers on conventional produce, then sit back and watch the fireworks.
— Conan O'Brien (@ConanOBrien) September 29, 2014
I am now only coming to whole foods at 10:45pm. Running up and down aisles with gleeful freedom.
— christine teigen (@chrissyteigen) June 6, 2014
Bought gluten-free dairy-free organic raw vegan cookies at Whole Foods. They're just piles of coconut that keep rolling their eyes at me.
— Kendra Alvey (@Kendragarden) July 28, 2014
"candy corn was a good idea but it's too colorful and fun" - Whole Foods pic.twitter.com/7OWFKZTJv2
— wikipedia brown, chiberian tiger (@eveewing) October 1, 2016
An authentic white noise machine would play the sound of people impatiently sighing while waiting in line at Whole Foods.
— Stephanie McMaster (@Smethanie) February 12, 2013
Just saw a woman buying toilet paper at Whole Foods and man it must be wild to be that kind of rich
— Andy Richter (@AndyRichter) December 9, 2018
1 more payment and we can pick up our fresh organic free range turkey from Whole Foods lay-away.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) November 17, 2018
Just saw a guy in a Bentley exit a Whole Foods with his stereo blasting "Fight the Power" & now I kinda hate white people.
— Danny Zuker (@DannyZuker) August 20, 2012
'Whole Foods on a Sunday' should be it's own term to describe horrible, unspeakable things.
— christine teigen (@chrissyteigen) April 28, 2013
I'm the only woman in this Brentwood Whole Foods who can still move her forehead.
— Elizabeth Hackett (@LizHackett) January 6, 2017
Choosing between Trader Joe's and Whole Foods is white people's real Twilight.
— Sammy Rhodes (@sammyrhodes) February 28, 2012
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